How to feel like a disappointment
- Reads 2,032
- Votes 13
- Parts 3
MatureOngoing6m
Last published Sun, Dec 11, 2016
This is like a diary, it was something that actually happened to a friend of mine, it's not pretty but she allowed me to post this as a way of getting people to know that something like this could actually happen to ordinary people, and that getting help is the best way to get out of a situation like this.
Triggering issues: rape, self hurt, suicide thoughts.
All Rights Reserved
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𝙰 𝚅𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜'𝚜 𝙶𝚞𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚂𝚞𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚟𝚊𝚕...
Have you ever had one of those terrible yet annoyingly pivotal moments? You know, that monumental fragment of time that flips everything you have ever known. That plot twist second that completely takes you by surprise. The one just before the storm hits and everything goes to hell. Yes? Because you see, that moment happens to be my whole damn life. It wasn't always like this though. I used to have a pretty mundane existence, happy to just get good grades and be around my friends. God I wish I could get that simplicity back, I'd never complain it was boring again. But I know I'm not going to ever get back my old life because well... I died. (Kinda) But I woke up. And I was thrilled, beyond grateful I wasn't dead. But then I realized that there was one minor detail that had changed about my reality. I was given the chance to live but it turns out I woke up as the villainess in an otome game my friend used to be obsessed with - Kingdom of freaking Hearts (I added the freaking in there for effect, it's just Kingdom of Hearts) Where, for the record, the villainess only has two possible endings 1) execution and 2) getting exiled. So Fate was like, "Don't worry, I'll save you. Here's a chance to live" and then was like "psyche, screw you. You're still going to die but I'll let you suffer a little first." So now, if only to annoy Fate by proving it wrong, I am determined to survive. I can and I will if I play by these simple rules: 1) Befriend Heroin 2) Avoid Aryn Edwards at All Costs as well as other capture targets And 3) Be the top student at the academy and become an invaluable asset to my Kingdom so I become indispensable, thus unkillable. I'm determined, stubborn, persistent and I will live passed 16. Fate made a big mistake setting me up to die. Since it threw this plot twist at me, I figure I'll return the favor. I'll be the biggest plot twist Fate never saw coming...
I've always had a feeling that I would die young. Ever since I started pondering on deaths door I've had this feeling. I could care less about the hell and heaven shenanigans, but death. I want it. The end of my life. I want to be in my suit, in my coffin, in the ground and my soul to be gone. I've been waiting for 16 years, yet no sign of death opening his door no matter how many times I ring his doorbell. Yeah, I enjoy thinking about my end. Especially at moments like this... *** #1 physical #1 cuteguys #1 addiction #2 self-esteem *** Started: 7 November 2022 Finished: 18 April 2024
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