Killer of my own self

Dad pushed the table in the room to make his way out to the balcony of our third floor house. The building had 12 floors in total and as he leaned against the wall i told him to pay me right now. he was damn Adamant and told me to shut the fuck up.
Go away'you mother fucker, you have made my life hell!!! his yellow typhoid sick face went gradually red.
I wanted to have just money ... Come what may ,his every no made me hate him even more. Suddenly the virtues of our so called on-off relationship went flying and i pushed him to put my hand in his pocket.
My push was more strong or his frail structure could not sustain it,he went rolling down to hit the wooden table on which a pile of newspaper was lying.It all came falling over him and a stream of blood gushed from the back of his ear. He was about to faint or these were withdrawl symptoms i couldn't make it out but the devil in him did not die down. I knew it would not ,so soon .He was my father and i knew monsters like me had to have such origin....