I've Loved You Since 7th Grade

I've Loved You Since 7th Grade

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I'm 15 turning 16 soon I'm in 10th grade and I've loved one of my friends since 7th grade no one found out until eighth grade. I wasn't really close friends with this girl in 7th grade in fact I really doubt that she noticed me. 8th grade came and thanks to one of my friends she found out that I had a crush on her, he's a really good guy thank you so much man. I was always really shy when I was around her and could barely talk, always getting my words mixed up, I would always studder in mid sentence or something like that. Always acted weird around her and she for some reason always brought a huge smile to my face, back then I didn't know how to control my smile, but the more we hung out the easier it became. 7th and 8th grade were alright, 9th grade was cool up until October 20,2015. It shouldn't be a bad day cause that's my cousins birthday but I did the most fucked up and stupidest thing ever to the girl I liked. Its past a year now, and I still hate myself for it because I hurt her and broke the trust I had with her. currently in 10th grade and the year isn't starting off so well I don't really feel like I belong here on this earth I just feel like I'm a waist. This probably wont be interesting to anyone but it's my way of letting how I feel out, not by sharing it cause this is my first time writing about myself on wattpad. But by writing period, and lately just writing it in a journal or diary isn't working. Don't see how this will but just trying something new. EVERYTHING in this story is based off of real events. Most of this is also based off of memory so it might not make sense at first. (don't know how long these chapters will be or how many there will be.)
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#968
autobiography
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Being in love with your best friend isn't the ideal life situation but for Zora, it's her only life situation. Secretly harboring her feelings for her best friend, Sierra, Zora pours her emotions into her journal in the form of poetry. After years of keeping her attraction for her friend at bay and trying to deny her feelings by forcing herself to love a boy who unconditionally loves her, Zora's favorite emotional outlet becomes the cause of her life falling apart as the truth finally comes out. ***** It was happening again. It was dark, sunset, I waited for her to be done with volleyball practice 'because she was my ride'. Somehow we wandered from the gym to the football field and we were sitting at the very top of the bleachers staring at each other. Her dark hair mirrored the direction of the wind, the setting sun being replaced by the brightness of her smile. We were sitting so close I could feel her warmth. It was an unusual situation. Friends don't do this. We held eye contact for a long time before I couldn't take it anymore and just closed my eyes. It wasn't real, she was just my friend. Then, I felt her tuck a strand of my curly hair behind my ear. That with the chill of the night sent shivers down my spine and a swarm of butterflies attacked my stomach. I reopened my eyes. If she didn't want me, why did she look at me that way? I held her hand and I held it for so long because I didn't know if we'd have another moment like this. We talk and laugh and she tells me I'm pretty and I ask her if she'd just noticed that and we laugh again. I realize the feelings I felt in that moment were not just the intense feelings of attraction that I felt every time I was with her. Warmth flooded to my face and if it wasn't for my dark complexion, my blush would be noticeable. I look into her dark-colored eyes and I come to the conclusion that I'm royally fucked and I'm probably also in love.

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