Heart without a beat

Heart without a beat

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Thu, Oct 20, 2016
Growing up, living a lie, her whole life was fake and make believe... she trusted to easily, forgave people who shouldn't have been forgiven. Her childhood was a wreck and she believed that if she could save another soul that it could free herself from the shame and misery that once controlled her. She was mistreated, bullied, abused. But she smiled through all the pain. She didn't have very many friends, she kept her circle small. Nobody ever wondered or asked why she was always so happy. No one never knows what exactly happens behind closed doors. There are secrets that she'll never tell. When this particular "goodbye" takes place, the truth comes out. And she will never be the same again. Life is a game. You either win or die trying.
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My life in ruins, this is where I'm at currently. I was living a lie, lying to people and most importantly to myself. You can act straight all you want, you can try to convince yourself that, but no matter how hard you try. The truth is always revealed. What did I do? I stroked her face, and told her she was still beautiful, then I bent down and kissed her. One of those soft, yet deep, gut wrenching, I'll always love you, but I have to let you go, goodbye kisses. Then I rested my forehead on hers and closed my eyes. I saw the past that we had, all of the memories we had together, I took them in, I felt the feelings again, I processed them. Then I saw the dreams that we dreamed for our future, I saw all of our plans that we made, I felt them, I felt the pain of what would never be, and then I released it all. I didn't realize I was sobbing until I felt her hand graze over the tears. I opened my eyes, blinked away the tears I had left, and smiled. She returned my smile. We knew at that point that no matter what happened, we would be ok.............. This is my struggle, this is my journey. Join me for the ride, but make sure you wear your helmet.

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