Fix Me [1]
  • Reads 309
  • Votes 36
  • Parts 2
  • Time 11m
  • Reads 309
  • Votes 36
  • Parts 2
  • Time 11m
Ongoing, First published Oct 20, 2016
She looked at me, pausing for a moment before speaking.

"When you're dying on the inside, nobody notices it. A smile can hid the fact that, you're dying and you need help. But you can't say it, until he notice you were dying, and your world just changed. So, why can't you love him?" I thought over the question, she had a point. Why couldn't I love him? My heart wanted, my body wanted him, and I needed him so badly. But, why couldn't I love him?

"I dunno why I can't love him. I should, because he loves me, but somehow I can't love. My heart is broken."  I say quietly, she barely heard it. She nodded slowly, before scribbling something in that stupid notebook. It was quiet, very quiet. I wasn't feeling like myself; I felt uneasy. And dizzy.

"How are you feeling, Ryder?" She asked and how did I feel? I don't know. Some reason, I was sweating in my leather jacket, and my heart is pounding for some reason. I felt really hot, I couldn't understand what was happening. But when I didn't answer she knew something was wrong.

"What's wrong?" I didn't answer. My knuckles gripped the chair, my breathing picked up, and I suddenly felt pain spread through out my body like wild fire and I hunched over. Moaning in pain, I ignore her asking me what was wrong and I growl. I lifted my head slowly, and looked straight into her eyes.

"Jasper."
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My heart pulsated through my chest and I didn't think I could hold on for much longer. The frightening, terrorising feeling of his fingers slipping through mine was causing the arm that was gripping to the edge of the cliff to shake. "Hold on, Harry! I've got you, I swear! Please, just hold on!" my voice held a shrill of terror to it and my eyes were filling with tears; tears of pain, frustration and sheer horror. Harry moved his gaze from our slipping fingers to my eyes. "It's okay, Ethan. Let go. You can't save me; not this time." I hated how calm his tone was. I hated how defeated he sounded. He had never given up - we always held hope for one another! We never gave up. "Don't you say that to me! Don't you fucking say that to me!" I roared, a small sob escaping my lips. Harry just smiled sadly, his muscular, beautiful body swaying in the harsh wind. The fall was so big; he would surely die of a heart attack before he hit the ground. I prayed to God he would. No. I was breaking my own rule; I would not give up on him. Either both of us lived or neither of us would. My life would be over the second his ended, anyway.