Love Disorder

I like to take cold showers at night so there is nobody to bodys-hame me when I get out. I spend almost an hour in the shower running the cold water down my body. I stay awake all night with my thoughts haunting me every waking moment. I like the thoughts of having things wrong with me like mental disorders and sicknesses. Thats me and Iʻm not changing anything but I would do anything to be with Dean.