- Reads 54
- Votes 4
- Parts 4
Girls. Girls. Girls.
They're supposed to drive me wild, but they just..they don't. It doesn't make sense to me either. I'm not an unattractive guy. I've got messy brown hair and these big blue eyes that sparkle a little when I'm outside. It's not like I'm stupid either, I'm pretty smart...well until it comes to girls. I just, I don't know. They're all so pretty yet I can only ever be friends with them. Sure, I've dated some, but it never feels right. Our hands don't fit the way I want, their arms don't hold me the way I wish to be held. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I just can't seem to fall in love with girls the way every other guy can. What's wrong with me..?
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When I was young, I always was that boy that was misunderstood. I would be the one with the girly voice. I was timid. I was the one who would want the boys to chase me, threatening me with a kiss, not the girls. I was the one who didn’t understand why I was this way. As I entered middle school, I felt it come more often. Seeing the guys in gym or feel them smack me on the butt teasingly, I didn’t want to just be friendly, I wanted to be more than friends. I was still so confused. It was only lonely days then. Now I am in high school, I am a junior. I fully understand what I am. I don’t like it. I want to like girls so badly. I am just not normal. I try to stay out of the scene. He gives me confidence. He may not know me, but I am destined to try. He is fully open about his sexuality. Everyone knows of the monster that is inside of his mind. I know it has taunted him for years. I want to be like him. I want to let everyone know what I am, so I can attract more like me. But even more than that, I want him. I want Camden. I want him so bad it pains me to be in his presence and not hug him. I want him so bad.
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