Sarah's Really Stupid Fic Prompts

So I made a list of really stupid fic prompts (http://shxtteredsky.tumblr.com/post/152724134215/some-really-fucking-stupid-fic-prompts-for-the) and I'm going to write them here. Have fun.
If you want, give me a fandom/ship/character and one of those prompts and I'll write it and put it here.
Enjoy me making a fool of myself.
list of prompts:
Dish soap
a mask that has been cut up into tiny pieces before the fic begins
your local Napoleon stan wears a grandma costume to school and acts the part
"I fucking hate this strand of hair in particular"
grinding bobby pins into powder using a mortar and pestle
megafauna
precisely one square inch of snowflake pattern fabric
"your tumblr is compromised"
everyone is dreamlessly asleep during the entire fic
a thousand bottles of ultrafine glitter that is actually made of human bones
Sir Bearington
"why are you like this"
F R E S H C O R I A N D E R
"let us not"
the zipper on my combat boot is broken. why is it broken. i do not know.
the transitive property of dubious statements about life
dissecting cadavers to find the KEY
F I N D T H E K E Y