The Dying Girl

I know I have little time. Momma says I should try to enjoy life while I can but i don't know if I can. I mean I'm DYING! I have leukemia and I'm suppose to die next year in January. I can't stand seeing my mother cry, seeing her not stop crying telling me "it'll be okay" that i'll be in heaven and i'd smile and pretend i'm okay but the truth is I'm scared. I'm scared that when I leave here it'll be dark and i'll be all alone. My best friend sits with me at lunch but even she doesnt want to be seen with a dying girl. I'm Frail, I'm Ugly,I'm always tired, and I'm not exactly pretty. The doctors said the tumors spread so badly there was nothing they could do, I don't like being helpless. I don't like being the dying girl.