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Última publicación jue, ene 5, 2017
When I'm sad, I get this craving for writing. I don't get it, why it only happens when I'm sad, but it happens so I deal with it.
But I never actually wrote.
I mean, I did, my phone's notes are full of little stories and stuff. But it's because the craving was unbearable then.
I never did write, cause I just couldn't put my thoughts in order, just couldn't make them cooperate enough so that they could work for me and help me. So I could write. You know?
But now I decided to stop being so stubborn and lazy and actually do what my mind wants me to do because I have nothing to loose and it might help me understand myself.
Actually I'm writing because I'm afraid of crashing. I'm afraid things will get so bad that I'll just malfunction or something. It's happened before, and it's not fun, and I'm scared it'll happen again. I think it will help me cope, it sure works for a lot of people.
So most of this will be in English, because that's my second language and it makes thing all more impersonal to me, which is all I need when I'm sad and craving and crashing. But sometimes I'll write in Portuguese because it is my mother language and dear to me an personal. Or maybe I'll write in whatever language comes to mind first or in the one it makes most sense. Or maybe it doesn't makes sense, I don't even know anymore. Like I said I need to get to know myself.
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