Pickup lines & Comebacks (and other stuff)
- MGA BUMASA 10,115
- Mga Boto 472
- Mga Parte 65
Ongoing6m
Huling na-publish Sun, Feb 16, 2020
Why go to two separate books to look for two similar yet most common topics? You got it alllll here. AND FUESS WHAT WITH EVERY POST THERES A GIF 😏👅
Dirty pick up lines.
Cheesy pickup lines.
Weird pick up lines.
Bad pickup lines.
Comebacks that'll make a Asswhole cry.
Comebacks that'll cut a bitch in the throat.
Shit load of comebacks that'll be stupid af but probably work.
Also, other funny shit and relatable life shit in here ☺️
TBH I don't want to put things y'all consistently be seeing so imma try to throw in some not so consistent stuff😉
~Stay lit b~
#94 IN HUMOR 12/1/16
#156 IN HUMOR 11/30/16
SO I SAW A LOT OF PEOPLE WROTE ABOUT THIS KINDA STUFF AND I THOUGHT HEY WHY NOT LMAOO SO HERE IT IS! Pickup lines and comebacks
All Rights Reserved
#965
bitch
Sumali sa pinakamalaking komunidad ng pagkukuwentoMakakuha ng personalized na mga rekomendasyon ng kuwento, i-save ang iyong mga paborito sa iyong library, at magkomento at bumoto para lumago ang iyong komunidad.
Magugustuhan mo rin ang
Tapestry of Love: (WLW Oneshots)
**Random GXG One-shots** 🌈✨ Sometimes a little GxG, sometimes a wild GxGxG or GiP... because why not? 😏 I write these just for fun-let my imagination run wild! 💭 Whether it's smut, fluff, or angst, you never know what you'll get, but that's half the fun, right? 😉 Single life can be *so* boring, so let's spice it up together! ✨. Drop a DM or comment with your suggestions, and let's get creative! 🔥💌 #1 - wlwoneshots #69 - gxgxg #114 - technology #276 - gxglesbianlgbt
Employed Epoch Of Alex Brook | Book 1| Humor-Romance (Completed)
"So, let me get this straight. You stomped all over his paperwork?" She started. "Not intentionally, but yes," I confirmed it. "Threw a drink in his face?" She added. "Expensive red wine." I described. "Rammed into his car with yours deliberately?" she counted on her third finger. "Um...I'm not proud of that one," I said cringing. "And called him offensive names?" She ended the list and I winced. "Twice." I specified. "And you're still alive?" She blinked, looking genuinely surprised. "Geez, don't be dramatic or anything..." I frowned at her hyperbolic statement. "Maybe he's keeping you around to get revenge." She suggested. Possible. I wouldn't put it past him. "I didn't know alright!" I exclaimed. "Let's hope that excuse is acceptable.." She was merely amused. "Working with my new boss is going to be a piece of work." ** Synopsis: When the CEO of Signature Heights: Jensen Black, and a stubborn employee: Alexandra Brook, clash, it's a battle of wits & a war of perseverance. They are both dead set on making each other's lives hell, but when the story progresses they just might learn that first impressions could be deceiving. As circumstances reveal their true selves and opinions change, things could get complicated especially when suddenly feelings get involved. Who would be the first to concede? Maybe it's not that simple to forgive your archnemesis and maybe it'll result in some hilarious consequences... ** Book 1 of a two-part series (completed).High Rankings: # Funny, # Humor, # Comedy, # Romance, #Billionaire Amazing book, I adore your writing style, and I really enjoyed these characters and story -Reader Fantastic story, believably flawed characters and deft humour makes for a very engaging read, I could barely put it down to feed my children -Reader **Kumpleto![𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒 | | 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬 [𝐄.𝐌]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/354998577-256-k278512.jpg)
𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒 | | 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬 [𝐄.𝐌]
𝐊𝐢𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐲 𝐂𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐲 - 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐚𝐰𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐬, 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. 𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐝, 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟𝐟, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥. 𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 '𝟖𝟓, 𝐲𝐞𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭, 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐨𝐫. 𝐊𝐢𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐦𝐚 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐠𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫. 𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞. 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬, 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧?Kumpleto
Dear you,
STOP! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! DONT COME AFTER ME BECAUSE I WARNED YOU. BUT IF YOU IGNORE THIS AND PRESS 'READ' THEN MY FRIEND... GOOD LUCK. I would like to share journals of two teens who can't figure out the bond between them. The teens are completely different in every aspect. He can barely afford to eat outside, while she chooses not to. He's happy with his life, while she is sick of it. He's a keen reader while she's a keen addict. Have fun reading about their lives, laughing at their jokes and weeping at their misfortune. These journals will potray that nothing goes by nature's rules.Kumpleto
Blindsided By The Boss
Enemies-to-lovers * Bickering/bantering Boss/employee * Romantic comedy with a HEA He says I'm a hemorrhoid and a massive dark cloud without a silver lining. I consider him a bosshole and heartless prick--because that's what he is and more. I've never met my boss. He works only through emails. I was two months in at my new job, when I had to fly to Florida to bury my grandmother. The night of her funeral, an overly hot man approached me while I was in the middle of trying to meet a deadline, wondering if I'd be interested in having a wild night with him. It had been a couple years since I Iast been with a man. I was pissed at my boss, and he was good looking, so I accepted his offer. Next, I emailed my boss telling him I wasn't making the deadline because I was going to get laid. And I did... lots of it. The next morning he was gone. Months later, I run into my boss--in the dark--on masquerade night at a sex club. Let's just say we had an interesting moment. After that I wanted to kill him more than I already wanted to. Weeks later. I had the shock of my life when we met face to face at my best friends wedding. Callum's a one-and-done type of guy. And I wasn't looking for love either. But our friends had other plans for us. They thought we were the perfect match and did all they could to set us up. Will us two stubborn hotheads see we're meant to be? Credit for cover: https://selfpubbookcovers.com/RLSatherKumpleto
She's With The Band
You really think you know the full story? You may think you do, but you don't. There's a fine line between love and hate, of course there is... there always is. You can be two things at once, can't you? Can you love two people at once? Do you even know who you are? Or who you want to be? Or maybe this, who you are right know is exactly who you are supposed to be. ⚠️WARNING BEFORE YOU READ THIS STORY⚠️: This story contains some content that some people may be uncomfortable with. This is just me warning you all because I stopped putting TW's after like chapter eight!! :) This story talks about and has - eating disorders - alcohol - drugs - violence - cursing/swearing - sexual assault/ talk of a previous r*pe - homophobia Just know in advance that this story is Mature for a reason, please don't attack me okay LOL😭😭 I do not own any of the songs used in this story. All credit goes to the owners. #1 in punk! 8/19/22 #1 in gossip! 10/6/22 #1 in New York 4/28/23Kumpleto
Awks. ✓
*** "*Sobs* I'm so happy to have a character that's exactly like me." - @TakenUsernameSoz. "This story is so normal that it's unique; a breath of fresh air! Gives us normal girls hope, hi hi!" - @LocalSlayer "This book is seriously my inspiration to not be afraid to show who I am." - @Who_Says_Duh "THAT IS SO ME!!!!! IS THIS SOME TYPE OF VOODOO, MAGICAL BOOK OR SOME SHIT?!?!" - @ThePanther10101. *** Let's face it, none of those cliché situations from movies between a guy and a girl ever happen in real life. I'm not going to end up accidentally bumping into my future husband in a café, spilling a latte over him. I'm not going to go up to some random stranger and ask him for directions and he'll become mesmerised by the colour of my eyes and fall in love with me. The window of my bedroom doesn't happen to be situated opposite to that of a 'bad boy neighbour'. I was daydreaming, again. Something I do on a daily basis. Nothing different, right? Well, let's just say I didn't snap out of my little 'trance' until I saw a guy waving frantically at me, smiling. Oh shit, he's hot. He probably thinks I was checking him out. Great, now he's coming over. Kill me. *** • Highest rankings: #1 in Modeling - #1 in Awkward - #3 in Humor.Kumpleto
My Babies Mystery Daddy. (Completed March 2021)
(Mature content) (Highest ranks listed) (Editing slowly) A simple last night out with my girls before I move to America. Drinks are flowing, hips moving & laughing like we have no worries in the world, & an encounter with a drop dead gorgeous man, whos eyes could see my soul like we belonged & his hands ohh 🤪 but I left before he woke mortified. I never had a one night stand. Only problem now is I left with something belonging to him. So here I am 4 years later and my boss is retiring. Who's my new boss you ask. Well you guessed it & Does he remember me? I hope not as theirs more than my feelings at stake now. *********************************** Eoin Ryder now 29 year old badboy billionaire. Eoin cant get a girl named Saoirse (sheer-sha) out of his head for years. That one incredible night has had him searching for that connection again. He dates but nothing to serious as he compares them to her beauty. Is there such thing as love at first sight. Will he find her again. If so what will he do. What will she do. Though he is in for a shock. Laughter, tears, anger, sex & possible loss. This book has it all. Hey everyone 😁 this is my 1st ever book/story to write & writing it from my phone. If its boring or silly I do apologise. Im writing chapters as I go so please be kind and i would love feedback and ideas for this story. I Started it 20-dec-2020. I thought id give it ago & to have a new focus point to steadying out my anxiety. Never done anything like this before. feel free to point out mistakes nicely im trying to edit quickly. Also the pregnancies are sort of based on my experiences. Also copywrited. Mature content will be present so please dont read if this will offend you or under age. Hightest rank 1st #daddy (sept) 1st #Irish (may 21) 1st #over18s (may-now) 2nd #single (feb23) 2nd #2021 (may 2021) 2nd #accidental (may 2021) 3rd #soul (may 2021) 4th #lover (june 2021) 6th #sexual (june 2021) 10th #love (may 2021) 11th #growth (june 2021)Kumpleto
Book 1✔️ Sugar Baby
Highest Ranking #1 adultthemes (01/05/19) #1 eroticromance (24/10/2019) #1 adultromance (26/06/2019) #1 sugardaddy (05/08/2019) #1 couple (16/08/2019) #1 mature (16/10/2019) #2 romance (2/11/2019) #2 ceo (23/03/2020) "You need to shut up baby. Let me take care of your needs. Can you do that for me?" He unzipped my dress, as it falls freely down to the floor. ***** Lori was a socialite, she lived a life of luxury until her parents got a divorce and she was forced to live on her own. She struggled with financing her education and trying hard to maintain her high standard of living. She finally gave up when her best friends treated her like she has the plague and cut her off, then her boyfriend was forced to end things with her when his parents didn't want him to be associated with Lori because of her family's scandal. And that's when she decided to take the offer to be a sugar baby, thinking she'll treat it as a summer job and end it as soon as she's back on her feet again. ********** James never needed a girlfriend. He's a workaholic. He likes the arrangement of a sugar baby where he can pay a sum of money for a companion of a young attractive woman. His friend suggested the idea. With the last sugar baby being too attached to him. It's time for him to find another one. A less demanding one. His eyes locked into the beautiful fragile young woman with an attitude to match. Her fiery yet nervous attitude was refreshing for him, and he wanted her for himself. Will he get what he paid for? Will she get back on her feet? ********** Completed: May 2019 *Warning! R-Rated for 18+ due to strong, explicit language and sexual content*.Kumpleto
Behind You✔️
{Book One: Abdallah series} "I'm sorry jawad" I stammered feeling his warm breath fanning my face, and his dark eyes boring into mine, with hate evident on his face. He pinned me against the wall once again, looking straight into my eyes. A warm tears made it way down my chin, which I had no strength in stopping them. "It's too late to say sorry my dearest wife" he whispered holding me roughly by the waist. At that moment I know I'm in deep trouble. _____ He is selfish and only think about himself. He doesn't care if it'll trouble the people around him. Jawad return from his journey when he gets the news of him getting married or he loses his position of being the heir to his father's company. Farah a beautiful and kindhearted woman, with a nice and loving family. When a marriage proposal came for her, she knew her life is about to change. As she has no opposition about marriage, she agrees to marry the man her parents choose for her. Two opposite are tied in an arranged marriage. Will they keep their differences aside? And make their marriage work? Follow the story of Farah & Jawad Started: 27th October 2018 Completed: 1st January 2020 ©2019 [[word count: 40,000 - 50,000 words]] #7 in marriage 11/10/2020 #1 in wattpadromance 25/09/2020 #7 in spiritual 16/07/2020 #9 in Billionaire on 15/02/2020 #126 in Romance on 19/01/2020 #1 in Islam 28/12/2019 #2 in muslimstory 29/12/2019Kumpleto
**Random GXG One-shots** 🌈✨ Sometimes a little GxG, sometimes a wild GxGxG or GiP... because why not? 😏 I write these just for fun-let my imagination run wild! 💭 Whether it's smut, fluff, or angst, you never know what you'll get, but that's half the fun, right? 😉 Single life can be *so* boring, so let's spice it up together! ✨. Drop a DM or comment with your suggestions, and let's get creative! 🔥💌 #1 - wlwoneshots #69 - gxgxg #114 - technology #276 - gxglesbianlgbt
Karagdagang detalyeMga Alituntunin ng Nilalaman