A Year in a Life: My Journey with Bipolar - Nikki Ledgerwood - Wattpad

Story cover for A Year in a Life: My Journey with Bipolar by NikkiLedgerwood

A Year in a Life: My Journey with Bipolar

NikkiLedgerwood

Reads 71
Votes 1
Parts 6
Time 19m

Reads 71
Votes 1
Parts 6
Time 19m

NikkiLedgerwood

bipolar bipolardisorder diary journal mentaldisorder mentalhealth mentalillness selfhelp

My names Nicole Ledgerwood I was 19 years old when I was first diagnosed, but was suffering for several year prior. This is my daily journal about my feelings and a way to hope to fully figure out what my triggers are and hope to help several people in the world who have this disorder as well. 


Bipolar disorder is a very common disorder with nearly 3 million cases in the US. It can't be cured, but they're medications that can help stabilize your mood. 

The way I see it is when your bipolar is when you're overly happy,energetic, talkative, and you feel like you're on top of the world that's your high point. Then there's your low point... Feeling hopeless, worthless, depressed, irritability, and fatigue. There's no in between you're stuck in a constant battle with yourself trying to stay level. 

This is my journey trying to find that balance.All Rights Reserved

bipolar bipolardisorder diary journal mentaldisorder mentalhealth mentalillness selfhelp

Table of contents

6 parts

Sign up to add A Year in a Life: My Journey with Bipolar to your library and receive updates

or

Content Guidelines

You may also like

Someone New by wambuimuiruriii

"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboard

Logan by braindeadwriter06

*TW* Contains topics and scenes of sexual assault, self-harm, abuse.* "You know you loved every second of it," I can feel the tears welling up as well as the anger building up within me. I stare at him for a while before I have to turn away from his hungry gaze. "Look I just came here to tell you that I forgive you for what you did back in Cali and I'll take you back," "You forgive me?" I yell. "I did nothing to you. You raped me! You fucking raped me! You have no right to come here and tell me that. You. Forgive. Me. You traumatized me. What you did to me tore me up inside and was eating away at me until I tried to kill myself. And when I told people they didn't believe me. I had to listen to so many people talk about how great a guy you were and how I clearly just regretted sleeping with you. You are a monster. You made me hate myself for something that was never my fault. You have caused me so much pain and suffering," I pause to take a deep breath. "So you don't get to come here to my school and tell me you forgive me. You don't get to make me feel bad about coming forward. The only thing I regret is ever thinking you were a good person." _____________________________________________ Logan Young is a 16-year-old girl about to start her senior year in a brand new town. The past year has been tough and her family moved to give her a fresh start. Her life before the move had been hard and she had been spiraling. She quickly makes new friends and even enemies. She builds up walls to protect herself. But what happens when an unlikely person helps her to tear down her walls and heal. Will she be able to survive in this new place and keep her secrets intact?

Locked In by MichaelaCilley

You don't believe me anyways. You don't see me throwing away my inhibitions or filling up my online shopping cart. You don't see me diving into new life goals and careers and areas of study. You don't see my cry to myself in the car when my chest sinks in and my head gets crushed in a vice. You don't feel the panic in my stomach whenever I must make human contact. And you sure don't see how hard I try. How I wake up every morning and apply my mask. My work mask- to conceal all of this. But.... It's been the same mask for many years And my mask is wearing thin. My sadness, my anger, my paranoia and grand euphoria are trying to become a part of your world too. A world where it's not welcome. A world where it's not understood, where it's frowned upon.

Evolution by andshesmiles

There are a lot of things you don't really think about until they happen to you. Take rape, for instance. I always thought, "That won't happen to me. I have a boyfriend. I trust him. He would never take advantage of me like that..." I couldn't have been more wrong. Love in this day and age is often confused for manipulation and abuse. The warning signs are here. The things we say will tell us everything that is wrong. You are worth more than what you think you are. It's not your fault. If they tell you otherwise, get out. Burn the bridge. Always remember someone is waiting for you to walk into their life. Someone needs you. Someone loves you. Getting away from all of the wrong people and finding the right ones could save you. I can promise you right now that it saved me. These are the journal entries and selected poems from my first experience of love that left a unpleasant taste in my mouth- quite literally. I am putting this out for the whole world to see because I hope everyone will learn from my experience. People can see. We have no excuses to continue living our lives in ignorance. ...WARNING... HARMFUL THEMES INCLUDING MENTION OF SUICIDE, SELF HARM, AND RAPE. THIS HAS EXPLICIT CONTENT. RECOVERY AND AWARENESS IS THE PURPOSE OF SHARING. DO NOT READ IF THESE THEMES ARE OFFENSIVE OR HARMFUL TO YOU.

how am i? (1) by natsistrash

This is a daily updated journal/diary thing that started in January of 2018 and has not ended yet. There will be a part two to this book, because I've found writing in this book so relaxing and helpful when it comes to my mental health. • • • Sometimes I feel trapped. Like I can't tell people how I truly feel because they won't understand. This book is more for me than it is anyone else. I hope you get enjoyment out of it, but honestly, it's an outlet for me to express myself. I'm done keeping my emotions trapped inside myself. I'm truly done with that. If you want to read my emotions and my day to day life, go ahead. If your easily offended by my opinions I would suggest not reading this, because it's practically made for my opinions to be shared. If you hate me, read at your own risk, because this is me being my true self. Some things might not be good to read for those who are struggling with mental illnesses because I do describe my own experience with mental illness and describe horrible thoughts, so it might trigger you. If you ever need someone to talk to just dm me. Thanks for reading <3

The Bipolar's Diary by forepierre

Beatrix is a 16-year-old girl. She lives a normal life just like her friends. Go to school, make friends, and write diaries. The problem is that deep down, she's just not normal like her friends. And the only one she wants to know about her upside-down private world in her head and her heart is her diary. No one else. But the secret personality is showing up when it comes to this 14 days that shakes her mind and her world, and she's just having to accept the bitter reality that she is a bipolar. This is the diary of a bipolar. How she struggled to survive the mean world, and how she failed and canceled, and rebuilt a suicidal plan for a hundred times.

A Lovely Life by MarcosMorales159

Journey with me back in time as I rewrite the first Journal I kept from when I was in high school, and see that maybe even with how horrible life is most of the times, there are little things spread throughout that make life worth living. My high school experience was full of drama, tears, laughter, and most of all constant search of love, and approval of the people around me. I can't always get what I want in this world. Life is a beautiful mess. It's not perfect, and filled with a lot of disappointments, and heartbreak. There are moments when it all feels too much, but there's not much we can do other than go with the flow of things.

White Rabbit by In-Decent-Pause

Diana is falling apart at the seams. After she graduates high school, her parents kick her off their insurance and, no longer able to afford her medication for her bipolar disorder, turns to street drugs as a relief. Nobody in her life is in a rush to get her out of it. Then she overdoses. She ends up in a hospital, because she's terrified if she doesn't, she'll go to jail. While she's there, Diana meets a number of women who have all been abandoned to the system like her, and people she would normally hate become close, if temporary, friends. With their help, recovery doesn't seem so far away, after all. I don't know what's wrong with wattpad, tags are broken and I can't add any more than I already have, so here are some content warnings: attempted suicide, drug overdose (heroin), drug use, self harm (cutting), eating disorder mention (bulimia), implied past sexual assault, victim blaming, psychosis, hallucinations, ocd, bipolar disorder, forced medication, psychiatric hospital

Heart On A Platter by rainingcats_dogs

Alexithymia, in the best state a person can experience a hardship in describing or expressing feeling, but in the worst case, the patient can not feel at all. 10% of the general population experiences this disorder. I am one of them, and this is my story. ************** The question is that can a girl that can't feel, even love? Rose Davail, a girl burdened since she can remember without emotions, love, joy, sadness? It's all just a void, nothing but numb to her, but what happens when her world spins drastically out of control when she meet Declan? Will her life stay the void it's always been or will she finally feel love?

Falling Apart by 1_Will_3

*TRIGGER WARNING: DEALS WITH DEPRESSION, SELF HARM AND SUICIDE* Amber is sixteen years old and to sugarcoat it... She hasn't had the best upbringing. She would love a different life, one where she can see her mother again and not be stuck with her abusive father. A life where she doesn't get taunted and hit and torn apart by everyone who she has ever seen. But she would never swap, she doesn't want anyone to endure the pain she's gone through. So instead, she tries to get rid of it... Again. But much to her disbelief, she is saved by the people she would least expect. She learns secrets about them that no one else knows. She feels included. Cared for. And dare I say it... She felt loved. For once in her life, she felt truly happy to be alive. But just when Amber felt safe, her life was flipped upside down and her past came back to haunt her just when she least expected it... (Sorry, I suck at descriptions, don't let it put you off) Ranking: #64 in Awareness #15 in Mental Health Awareness #73 in saddness

You may also like

Slide 1 of 10

Someone New cover

Locked In cover

Evolution cover

how am i? (1) cover

The Bipolar's Diary cover

A Lovely Life cover

White Rabbit cover

Heart On A Platter cover

Falling Apart cover

Someone New

"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboard