Chasing My Nerdy Stalker

I want to vanish, I want to be gone, I don't want to fell the ache on my chest again, the tears fell down on my cheek. And I was so tired to wipe those tears away! I want to be happy. But how? If the memories of my past keeps on hunting me! The memories of my First Love, how can I escape to this situation? How can I move on? If I change myself? Can I escape?