Roasts and Comebacks - greyyysweaterr - Wattpad

Story cover for Roasts and Comebacks by greyyysweaterr

Roasts and Comebacks

Reads 69,848
Votes 2,611
Parts 153
Time 12m

Reads 69,848
Votes 2,611
Parts 153
Time 12m

comebacks funny hilarious humor idek lmafo lmao lol lolidk roast

It's very cut and dry 

Roasts
And
Comebacks

Also lol this book let my inner bad bitch shine through 

Share with your friends, familys, and pets if your that bored.

I also dare all of you reading this to try out some of the roasts and comebacks in this book.

Comment on the one you used and tell me what happened. Or you could just private DM me :)


Also this book uses some "adult" language.

|#208 in Humor 8/25/17|
|#179 in Humor 8/26/16|All Rights Reserved

comebacks funny hilarious humor idek lmafo lmao lol lolidk roast

Table of contents

153 parts

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For the curvy|BWWM by Black_baddie

"Why do you love me? I'm fat" I said as I looked down at my feet. "Princess there's a difference between fat and thick" he said as he grabbed a hand full of my ass. --------------------- Diamond Ryder is a 17 year old curvy girl. Her past is so messed up that she doesn't consider herself beautiful. She can't even look in the mirror anymore. She has no friends at school and her bestfriend is her mom. Sam Greene is the school's bad boy. Girls chase after him but, he doesn't really pay attention to them. Diamond ran into Sam's life, literally. When they come across each other what will happen? Will Diamond let her guard down and love again? ------------------ ⚠️Under major editing⚠️ ------ Jay112098 "I really enjoy your story for the curvy, it's a nice escape from reality. I live in a small racist town where I get bullied and when I read your book it gives me a peace of mind that not all white people are racist" Tayjay207 "My favorite book" Amii_xo13 "I love this book" XWeirdSnackx "Its like my life depends on it" Zoeneluise "Its weird because I can relate to this" MochaBousso "I just LOVE THIS STORY❤ definitely going to my reading list" Kuwonubeans "I love this booookkk❤" Karentina23 "Gosh I love this book❤" User75473053 "I'm in love with this book❤❤❤"

"My Little Monster~"|| Selever X Reader [DISCONTINUED] by lazyazz_bijj

Hello! This is my first book so there will probably be some Errors but i'll try my best to fix it. Also English is not my native language so pardon my bad grammar😅😅😅 . Anyway here are some keywords: (Y/N) = Your Name (L/N) = Last Name (H/C) = Hair Colour (H/L) = Hair Length (F/C) = Favourite Colour (S/F/C) = Second Favourite Colour (F/F) = Favorite Food (F/D) = Favourite Drink (F/S) =Favourite Sweet (B/N) = Brother's Name (M/N) = Mother's Name (F/N) = Father's Name __________________________________________________________________________________ You're on college btw and (Y/N) is female. here's a peek at my book. _________________________________________It was a sunday morning and you were making lunch for you and you're roommates. Suddenly you got a call from the headmaster saying that you and your roommates would be having a new roommate and that they would be arriving after lunch. ~Time Skip~ You were playing video games on the couch when you heard a knock on the door. You were confused on why there were knocking on the door because it was Sunday and most of the students were out doing god knows what. Then you suddenly remembered that the headmaster told you that you were having a new roommate today. You opened the door and you see a cute half human half demon boy. "Oh! You must be our new roommate. Nice to meet you, My name's (Y/N) (L/N)." You introduced yourself. "Sup cutie. The names Selever nice to meet you." ............... That's all folks! If you want more of this story, I suggest you read this book. Edit: Just a fair warning. Some chapters may have been jumbled Because of an error so please check the chapters before you read them please.

The Satan's Eve (Completed)✔ NOT EDITED by Sheewrites_4fun

HIGHEST RANKING-1st in wedding! {23/05/18} & 1st in Laugh! {11/08/18} 13th in Romance! {03/12/18} Sequel to Mr Hulk's Jelly Bunny->Can be read as a stand alone book. Evelina/Velina Storm is a 22 year old half human-half vampire girl who works as a Manager at a restaurant despite the fact that her family is wealthy. You can say that she is the good type of girl but once you hit a bad nerve then well...goodluck. One thing she always keeps in mind is to never show her weaknesses no matter how the situation is. Adam Vernom is a 28 year old Vampire who is also a Ceo of the Vernom Company Ltd. He is the type of guy who you never want to mess with. Of all the things he hates, there is only one which he despises the most which is mates. Adam does not believe in mates, he thinks that they only exist just to destroy lives. What will happen when these two meet? What will happen when Adam know that Velina is his mate? Will Velina resist his seducing ability? Will Adam hate her? After all she is his mate... -------- He yanked me closer to him till our breaths became one and our tips of our noses touched. My eyes bulged like freaking saucers and were staring at his hot ones. "Satan huh? Then Let me show you how he is like." In one swift movement he crashed his plum lips onto mine. I wanted to push him away but could not. I felt my knees buckled and my stomach churned. There was a strange sensation which was restraining me from pushing him away. He plunged his moist tongue inside my mouth exploring every inch of it. My heart was racing and my breaths were hot. I could not help but move in sync with his pace. It was as if it was a magnet pulling me more and more to him. ------- P.s : Please do not copy or take my ideas as they are purely original and my imaginations. Thank you. ♡Also! If you enjoyed this story don't hesitate to share it with your friends! ;)

Cliché, Touché and Douche by FadedSmoke

{Completed - #12 highest} I was walking on a path all alone at midnight. I was just wondering around, until I saw a guy in a hoodie. He was beating the pulp out of another guy and one more man was on the ground, he was not moving. I gasped. 'Is he dead?' Or he can be unconscious, yeah 'el' he is just unconscious not dead. Duh! Who would kill a guy? As I was proceeding with my thoughts, that hoodie guy turned his face towards me. My heart had a mini heart attack. I turned my heels to the opposite direction and started to run. 'Run Ella, run for your life' was what my mind was screaming to me. I took turns without thinking, that guy was now following me and guess what? I took a wrong turn and which ended up being a dead end ' You are so dead' I thought. So, I started to think what I said last time to the people I love. 'Good night mom, love you.' to my mom, 'Stop annoying me! I'm going to bed.' to dad which also mean I love you, 'See you later Lu, love you!' to Luana. Okay my good bye says I love them all. Now I can die in peace. Granddad I'll meet you soon in the heaven, if you are there. I was still in my deep thoughts until I saw his silhouette. As, he get closer, my heart begin to race faster. I closed my eyes, until I heard him say "Ella?" O to the M to the G, this person actually knows me. I opened my one eye and saw him due to the small light hanging in that ally "Errrrr'ick!" I squeaked and mentally face palmed myself. Even at this state I'm calling him Errr'ick. "I'm sorry your highness, what can I do for you?" I squeaked again while trembling. The next second I heard his fits of laughter. He was rolling on the floor, actually rofling. I was glaring at him but I realised that I'm not in a position to glare. So, I made puppy dog face for him to spare my little life. He stopped but after seeing my face, he started to laugh again. He tried to say between his guffaws "You..... your face .....was epiccc!" He started to gasp for air and had tears in his eyes.

Heartbreak Weather | ✓ by aishixwrites

⚡caution : this isn't a story of happily-ever-after love & heartwarming romance. this is a story of heartbreak. ⚡ all the graphics in this book are made by me!! the pictures, although, are taken from pinterest and belong to their rightful owners. ⚡ attention : this is a very unedited piece of work!!! i'll edit it someday in 2023, though, don't worry. ⚡please note that this book is exclusive to only wattpad for now, so if you see it somewhere else, please inform me! • ════ ⋆★⋆ ════ • Not all love is meant to last. • ════ ⋆★⋆ ════ • Elaine Black doesn't wear her heart out on her sleeve. Or so had she thought until she collided with the cheeky green-eyed boy, Kayden Lawson, who had the most charming tricks up his sleeve - tricks just smooth enough to make Elaine realise, that maybe, indeed, she did wear her heart out on her sleeve. Maybe, for a few late night talks, stolen glances and shy flirty exchanges - Elaine was completely willing to change everything about herself - to fit in. To make Kayden keep looking at her. But unfortunately, every person does not know how to keep care of another's heart, and often end up breaking them. And spoiler alert, Kayden turned out to be one of them. Too bad that even after her heart was abandoned, Elaine's heart kept singing Kayden's name like a long-forgotten song. Too bad that, undoubtedly, heartbreak weather had come. • ════ ⋆★⋆ ════ • unedited. ©2022 to Aishi Mitra @aishixwrites.

mememe › bbno$ [2] by color_mebadd

[PART 2] SEQUELLLS- which aren't really as good as the original one. [If you haven't read the first book go do that !] started: 4-27-19 Finished: t-b-d **DISCLAIMER** This book involves cussing and inappropriate jokes. Read at you're own risk.

😂Funny Ass 5H And LM Shit😂 by fuckboy_cagayo

bunch of 5H/CC/LMand other shit that'll make u laugh, I guess- iF YoU DoN't rEaD THiS, I'LL pUT my Big tOE IN Yo' mOuF tONIgHT OR I'LL PUt My phAT DicK cOcK In YO NoZ ZONT PLAI WIF MEH, THOT

Keeping Up With Trouble by Lucky_virgo

Who knew you could get into an amusing conversation with a guy you just met at a coffee shop? Not Heather. ~~ "Why do you keep on following me?" "Because." "Because what?" "Just because." "Stupid idiot" "Do you really wanna know why?" "Will I ask you if I don't wanna know why?" "Way to go with the attitude Amore" "Just answer the damn question estùpido" "Well, keeping up with trouble is fun don't you think?" . . . "What the heck are you talking about?" ~~ With secrets and a whole different level of danger facing them, Who knew that said guy is determined to develop a special hate and love relationship with trouble itself? Not Heather, that's for sure.

Jokes😁 (COMPLETE) by Joons_unshaken_hand

A book of some of the funniest jokes I have come across👌

{Not so} Daily whines by calumandco

some {Not so} Daily whines, diary entries and/or ranty chapters that I'm gracing the world of Wattpad with that are in fact 100% true some parts are funny, some sad and some just me spilling my weirdness into a chapter because why the f not so sit back, relax, and enjoy the disastrously planned show don't forget to leave a cute comment on the way out ;) -L

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Slide 1 of 10

For the curvy|BWWM cover

"My Little Monster~"|| Selever X Reader [DISCONTINUED] cover

The Satan's Eve (Completed)✔ NOT EDITED cover

Cliché, Touché and Douche cover

Heartbreak Weather | ✓ cover

mememe › bbno$ [2] cover

😂Funny Ass 5H And LM Shit😂 cover

Keeping Up With Trouble cover

Jokes😁 (COMPLETE) cover

{Not so} Daily whines cover

For the curvy|BWWM

"Why do you love me? I'm fat" I said as I looked down at my feet. "Princess there's a difference between fat and thick" he said as he grabbed a hand full of my ass. --------------------- Diamond Ryder is a 17 year old curvy girl. Her past is so messed up that she doesn't consider herself beautiful. She can't even look in the mirror anymore. She has no friends at school and her bestfriend is her mom. Sam Greene is the school's bad boy. Girls chase after him but, he doesn't really pay attention to them. Diamond ran into Sam's life, literally. When they come across each other what will happen? Will Diamond let her guard down and love again? ------------------ ⚠️Under major editing⚠️ ------ Jay112098 "I really enjoy your story for the curvy, it's a nice escape from reality. I live in a small racist town where I get bullied and when I read your book it gives me a peace of mind that not all white people are racist" Tayjay207 "My favorite book" Amii_xo13 "I love this book" XWeirdSnackx "Its like my life depends on it" Zoeneluise "Its weird because I can relate to this" MochaBousso "I just LOVE THIS STORY❤ definitely going to my reading list" Kuwonubeans "I love this booookkk❤" Karentina23 "Gosh I love this book❤" User75473053 "I'm in love with this book❤❤❤"