Reality
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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Wed, Nov 30, 2016
Books always talk about seeing emotion in people's eyes. Joy, sadness, regret...a surprisingly wide range, especially when talking about the depth of emotion. I've always wondered if people in real life can see it too. Me, I've never understood it. Faces are where the emotions slip, where they reveal themselves. Behavior too, though it's easier at least for me to control that as opposed to my expression. Perhaps others have an intuitiveness that I lack, but I don't miss it. If I look someone in the eyes, I'd prefer not to see anything more than color. Each eye is so different in so many ways. Just looking at one person's set of eyes, there are so many things that set them apart. Shape and size, of course, but color is the best part of an eye. Color is boundless. The name of it sounds lovely, even. Iris. My eyes are blue, light, with darker specks near the pupil. Eyes are like gems, I think. They don't tell me anything, but they're beautiful to look at. Beautiful and shallow.
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reality
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As I stare at myself in the mirror, I don't even recognize the reflection. I'm a married woman, and I can't get over that. I'm only wearing red lace underwear at the moment. I wear sexy panties and bras now because I have someone who's seeing them every day other than myself. Does he wear special boxers...? I'm not ready to think about Silas that way yet. It is still too weird. I am a little surprised that I haven't had a meltdown yet. I've never had a panic attack before, but my life has been turned upside-down. I have a pretty damn good excuse to have one. Everyone is probably expecting that I will. They may even be surprised that I haven't yet. Eight years erased... Eight years to learn... I stare at my reflection in the mirror. I'm still me... just older. I rub lotion into my face, examining it closely. Still me. Same blue eyes. Same shallow dimples in my cheeks. Same lips that cover straight teeth that my parents paid a lot of money for. I step back and take in my body. A little curvier then I remember, but not by much. I guess with marriage comes comfort weight. My hair is the same blonde, just longer. How odd to have everything the same... yet so different. Completed July of 2019

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