We're Just Friends

We're just friends, like always. Sure it took a little over a year to get use to him when we first met, sure he and I have tension from time to time, but now we're just good friend. Right?
So why do I feel so... drawn to him? It's been almost six years since we've met and for the past three years have been nothing but hell. Beast Boy's problems seem to make him want to drown himself in addictions, coping in a way I never thought he would. He never once paid attention to me like that until one day he just... snapped? It's like he changed more than I thought he could. Was he that high? Why did he do it? And why didn't hate it?

We're just friends, the words I have to tell myself every time I look at her. I often wonder how fucked up I am, how far I've fallen. Why do I keep having these thoughts about here? I do nothing but try to block out this voice, fighting to stay in control, or maybe I'm trying to keep it Weak? Fighting to control this urge by fucking every woman I could wasn't working, drinking wasn't working like it use to, and smoking has been keeping me at bay. What does one do when a voice in their head wont shut up about "mating" with one of their best friends? We are just friends, right?