Story cover for Faded by meredithallyson
Faded
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    Parts 5
  • WpHistory
    Time 39m
  • WpView
    Reads 157
  • WpVote
    Votes 25
  • WpPart
    Parts 5
  • WpHistory
    Time 39m
Ongoing, First published Dec 05, 2016
Do you ever get that feeling that you are alone in this world even though there is someone standing right next to you? Do you ever feel like you are waging your wars alone, you can't let anyone in and understand in fear of being left broken and having to pick up the pieces yourself? Well I've been broken one too many times. And after having been broken you feel like giving up, leaving yourself shattered. You feel like you are numb and done and that there is no hopeful undertone in this life anymore. Shadows are screaming that you're alone but then you think, you've made it this far. You think, what's keeping me alive? Why can't I just get it over and done with? They say it's hope. They also say its fear. You may feel like you are done in that moment and one moment can change everything. Its fear that you will miss all the good things, you might find someone to care for you, to love you to protect you from these demons clawing at the inside of your skull, screaming for you to just do it and get it over with. For me? I will never be able to do it. I don't know if it's because of hope and fear. Believe me I've tried but I stopped and thought, I can never go back, once it's done it's done and there is NO going back. I always thought that the physical pain is better than the psychological. Nothing is more deadly than our minds. I would go to school hoping someone might notice and when I finally have courage to tell someone I push them away but I hope they come back and when they don't I just think did they really care for me? They obviously didn't understand and thought I was a lost cause. I never thought I was a lost cause even though how hopeless I feel all the time. If I was a lost cause, I would be dead but here I am. I'm still battling and this is my story.
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Evolution

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There are a lot of things you don't really think about until they happen to you. Take rape, for instance. I always thought, "That won't happen to me. I have a boyfriend. I trust him. He would never take advantage of me like that..." I couldn't have been more wrong. Love in this day and age is often confused for manipulation and abuse. The warning signs are here. The things we say will tell us everything that is wrong. You are worth more than what you think you are. It's not your fault. If they tell you otherwise, get out. Burn the bridge. Always remember someone is waiting for you to walk into their life. Someone needs you. Someone loves you. Getting away from all of the wrong people and finding the right ones could save you. I can promise you right now that it saved me. These are the journal entries and selected poems from my first experience of love that left a unpleasant taste in my mouth- quite literally. I am putting this out for the whole world to see because I hope everyone will learn from my experience. People can see. We have no excuses to continue living our lives in ignorance. ...WARNING... HARMFUL THEMES INCLUDING MENTION OF SUICIDE, SELF HARM, AND RAPE. THIS HAS EXPLICIT CONTENT. RECOVERY AND AWARENESS IS THE PURPOSE OF SHARING. DO NOT READ IF THESE THEMES ARE OFFENSIVE OR HARMFUL TO YOU.