V E N U S

V E N U S

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WpMetadataReadMatureOngoing18m
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Wed, Feb 6, 2019
Pain is demanded to be felt. Why? For the betterment of the world? For the betterment of myself? I've felt pain, I've felt suffering, sadness, madness, but never pure unpolluted happiness. Why pain? Why not joy or exuberance. People this is what brings joy from pain and pain from joy. The way people's minds work, the way people act. This is where emotion comes from. I may be shattered on the inside but my exterior is still in tact and I refuse to let my front fall. For if my walls crumble and I no longer bring joy to those in pain then all that's left is pain. So I put on this smile and kindness. I share pleasantries and gratitude so that I don't lose purpose. But what happens if I let my walls crumble, If I let someone slip through the cracks, will I fall from the weight of pain or be lifted by the air of others?
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"Everything is an act. My bright smile, my happy face, my friendly attitude. I acted like I was fine when I was in that hell, and I'm doing the same now - I pretend that what happened hasn't affected me. My happy smile is a mask concealing the darkness that has claimed my soul. I pretend I'm okay, but inside I'm dying. And then, all of a sudden, he appeared. For some reason, he started showing me the sweet affection I used to crave. Now... I no longer want nor need it. Emotions are a luxury I can't afford. He calls me an angel, not even realizing the irony of the name. I'm anything but pure. I have fallen and I can't rise."

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