Holding On
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Publikasi terakhir Rab, Des 7, 2016
Another night, I was left alone. A piece of me was missing, so far gone that I find myself longing more and more to get it back. Nothing can really fill this void. I've tried everything. I even got back with my ex just to replace the feeling but nothing could. I can't explain it. I'm stuck in limbo and I can't seem to escape. The connection that I once felt to that part of me was ripped away one Sunday, when I made a stupid mistake, one that I didn't know would impact me so deeply. I tried so hard trying to replace what I was feeling but nothing seemed to work.
I could never forget about him. I always wondered how things would've turned out if this thing kept going. Nothing feels right anymore. I shouldn't have opened up my soul to him and now I'm left in here shattered. My soul looks like a shipwreck on a beach, tragic yet beautiful. The day he left, I was left open but I knew that he too, wasn't really the one I had to be with.
Until a day, four years later, I met him.
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I was drowning. I knew that. I also knew that the hands around my throat, pushing me deeper into the river water was the cause. What I didn't know was who was drowning me and why. It hurt thinking. It hurt to do anything right now. But I still screamed under the cold water and pushed the hands away as hard as I could. It didn't have much effect. I fought and fought, but I was getting weaker, and colder. The pain was overbearing. I couldn't breathe. It was the worst pain imaginable; and as the hands that were around my neck were forcibly ripped off by some unknown force, I slipped deeper into the depths of the river. My hair was straight above me along with my arms. My eyes were open and the water burned. A darkness started to pull me under, taking the pain away. I felt a small pressure around my waist, before the darkness completely consumed me. The last thing I remember is thinking, save me.
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