A.L.E.X. (Inter.)
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- Parts 15
MatureOngoing36m
Last published Fri, Aug 9, 2024
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The art of pleasure and pain is just that...an ART. And in-between the madness and chaos of the thin strokes and bright opaque colors is a masterpiece more profoundly beautiful than the eyes can see.
A beauty beyond understanding. A passion that is driven by lust and uncertainty. A memoir of a lost love and a new flame, an unimaginable desire hidden in the dark. It is a secret only told by parched lips.
It is named A.L.E.X
-Pages of my diary
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4. Memories and Feelings That Still Haunt Me
I've cried too hard for too long as I debated death. Over and over, all I wanted was a quick overdose, a quick way to escape the pain. Until the guilt set it and made me realise, suicide feels too selfish. Instead I turned my sadness into art and my pain into strength. Desperately wanting to carve up my skin, I bled on a page. My screams are silent, hidden behind closed doors, And computer screens. All these horrible emotions kept secret in notebooks. I'm too afraid to speak about it, so I write it down That's how my poetry is made. ~The birth of poetry -Me ____ First place in 2021 Irenic Awards poetry catergory Highest rankings: #16 original work #2 relapsingComplete
Lack of Trust
"I was not flawed, your faith was flawed. If You had faith in your heart for me, I wouldn't have to bear all that I did because of you" she said looking towards him who was sobbing infront of her. "I was very sad and angry at that time. All the evidence was against you and when I saw that condition of my mother I gone mad." He told her and raised his hand to touch her but she jerked away his hand in anger. "Please believe me.... I really love you" He looked into her eyes with the hope that maybe she might believe his words. "There was a time when I also expected you to believe in me but then you did not believe me and left me alone with my sorrow. Today I will leave you alone with your regrets and sorrows" She said angrily. She left from there. He Fell on the floor and took his face in her hand and started crying.
Chasing Forever
"Why are you having my painting in your room?" I asked shifting my gaze a little from the beautiful painting of me, towards him who was standing behind me with his hands in his pockets before looking back at the sketch. I could feel his breath on my neck as he was standing closer to me. "Because, I didn't want to feel alone and you, keep me sane." He husked in my ear making goosebumps erupt on my skin. I turned a little and looked up at him craning my neck, to look at him who was already looking at me with so much of love and adoration as if I was the only one in this world. "When did you draw this?" I asked in a low voice taking a step back while he stepped forward. My back hit the table and he placed his hands on both sides of the table caging me in between. His eyes bored into mine making my breath hitch. "Seven years back," He replied dropping his head on my shoulder and turning sideways snuggling into my neck. His one hand reached my nape pulling me closer to him. "That was the first time I saw you," He said huskily kissing my neck and my cheeks turned hot while knots formed in my stomach. This is another secret of Arnav, but the sweetest of all till now. ***************************************************************************************** His life was filled with darkness and hers was not better. His friends became his family as he never got the love of his family after his parents died, while her family became her friends as she never had friends. But still, they felt incomplete. He wanted someone to call his family, while she craved someone to share everything that she couldn't share with anyone, including her family. He was not any prince, but the mafia king, and the CEO of his empire, the Rajvanshi Group of companies while she was a mere middle-class girl with lots of dreams and a pure heart. His world changed when his eyes fell on her but she was unaware of his existence until he decided to show up and change her life once and forever.
HER SAVIOR & HIS SENORITA (COMPLETED)
TODAY: NO, I can't stay here. I should go out from here at any cost. But how? I am sure they will keenly watching me, and i should think of any other way around to escape from here. "Wait Wait", I made my thoughts shut to listen their conversations which is happening in front of my room behind the locked door. But What are they saying? "Oh no...this is going to be the worst than ever. No this can't happen, this should not happen...i should go from this place before i get ruined", My mind is throttling me about their converse. I make myself calm for few minutes and meanwhile i heard my door open sound. My eyes snapped seeing the scene there...yes the lady..she is the one who got me here to ths hell. But why she is coming here. She is giving a devilish smile to me and i hate it now. God, how should i react now..my eyes are snapping seeing her coming closer to me. ARGH!!!!! it's paining. She grabbed my hair tightly and warning me..yes exactly she is warning me to behave nicely when he comes..but who is the he? Who is gonna come here and why? My mind is thinking in all directions, how to handle them and the so called "HE". Tears dropped in my cheeks and it is finding it's own way to roll down. *********************************************************************************************** Here is the roller coaster ride of the leads, how they met and how they going to end up with each other. This book will explain the pain, the passion, the love and the need for each other. Enjoy reading !!!Complete
Something Mending -- VOL 1
Of Breaking hearts, young love, betrayal and pain. Of Mending hearts, familiar pain, unexpected hurt and aftermath. Of Healing hearts, underated heartache, pain and acceptance. Of Love, Love that is as deep sea. Pain, that knows no bounds. Strength, that exist within time, but lasts forever. Of Sadness, sadness that always returns, Of Trauma, trauma that runs in deep, and the art of dying, every time. Of Scribbles and rambles, unsaid words and sealed pain. Of Life, Love, Pain, Sadness, Trauma. Of the art of rising like a phoenix, every time. Of Anxiety and Paranoia. Of Anything bad, Of Everything good. This is a story of a girl, it's a continuous one. A story of a sad girl, very lonely, but beautiful, intelligent and strong. She's a self sabotaging narcissistic girl, but also a talented, skilled and brave girl. She is riddled with anxiety and depression, but somehow finds ways to get up each morning, thinking of beautiful things. She has loved and lost, hurt and being hurt. She has not lost herself, but she has not find herself either. This is the life of a girl, laid before you in poems and thoughts. Here is a piece of me, and in here, undoubtedly, you will find pieces of yourself too. I am a mess, but aren't we all? | formerly SOMETHING BROKEN |Complete
D R O W N
we want to burn and die to fill the page as delicate words and memories and what we want what we need in life is more poetry and less pain but it's only a glimpse into a forbidden world a beautiful scene sharp to the touch so take your look if you can bear it so take my hand if you will hold it and taste the words ------------------------------------------------------ some rhyme less poetry and mindless murmurings for you to drown in. all of these poems are regrets, things i wish i said to people but never could.Complete
loss for words
every day I'm left at a loss for words. ✘CW: mentions of suicide and self-harm © 2017-2023 alexxiajay, all rights reserved *i wrote this collection in 2017, i have only updated it recently. (fixed some grammatical errors, and changed a few things, but otherwise, i've tried to leave it true to form) *all images are from google, i do not own any of themComplete
Engaged to the Heartless Heartbreaker ✔
Highest Rank: #1 in Romance, #1 - painting, #1 - heartbreaker, #1 - one-sidedlove, #1 - unrequitedlove, #1 - engagement *********************** Still not satisfied with our physical contact, he leaned his face down to meet mine as his fingers gripped my chin. "Fiancée?" he asked, whispering the word. I nodded as the tension I felt from our body contact got even more intense. I stared at his handsome face. "You claim yourself my fiancée?" I nodded again. Of course, I was his fiancée and I'd claim that title no matter what. "Let's see if you really are," he whispered slowly in between his breathing. His tone broadcasted danger and it made me shudder. "A fiancée can kiss her man. Now, let's see if you can---" And with that, in just a heartbeat, he pressed his lips against mine. *********************** He is my one great love. I've loved and adored him since I laid my eyes on him and to be his wife is my life's absolute dream. But he hates me. He has hated me since the day he first saw me and he makes it sure that breaking my heart and pushing me away will be his greatest achievement. In spite of all the drama, the pain and the heartbreak he caused me, I still insist to be engaged to him --- this cold, aloof, and heartless man. Yes, he is my one great love. But he is my one great challenge as well. Will I be able to create a heart in my heartless heartbreaker? (Cover made by @itsmyaah) Copyright © HervinaMollejon™ 2015-2016 All rights reserved.Complete
I've cried too hard for too long as I debated death. Over and over, all I wanted was a quick overdose, a quick way to escape the pain. Until the guilt set it and made me realise, suicide feels too selfish. Instead I turned my sadness into art and my pain into strength. Desperately wanting to carve up my skin, I bled on a page. My screams are silent, hidden behind closed doors, And computer screens. All these horrible emotions kept secret in notebooks. I'm too afraid to speak about it, so I write it down That's how my poetry is made. ~The birth of poetry -Me ____ First place in 2021 Irenic Awards poetry catergory Highest rankings: #16 original work #2 relapsing
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