NAVEL GAZING: excessive absorption in self-analysis or focus on a single issue
-A Lie
I decided to focus on family, choosing to believe and have faith that everything else would fall into place. I wasn't comfortable-or good-at lying to her.
So, when Samantha surprised me one day by swallowing her pride and asking directly if anything had happened during our break, I hesitated. The silence, I believed, said it all. I was on the verge of confessing when she gave me an out: "If you tell me nothing happened, I'll believe you," she said.
I should have told her the truth then-or resolved never to reveal it. Instead, years later, as I left for the final time, I selfishly brought it up. By confessing, I hoped to push her away. But in that moment, I let her believe what she clearly wanted to hold on to-that I had been faithful. She knew Pippa and probably sensed there was something between us, but she let it go-and so did I.
It was cowardice, I know. Still, I made up my mind to make our dream a reality. And for a while, it worked. But fast-forward through the births of our three additional sons, and more than a dozen years, the same problems that once threatened us had only grown and would soon spiral out of control.
