I Hate Myselfie: A Collection of Essays by Shane Dawson - I'm a potato - Wattpad

I Hate Myselfie: A Collection of Essays by Shane Dawson

Reads 3,576
Votes 7
Parts 12
Time 2h 6m

Reads 3,576
Votes 7
Parts 12
Time 2h 6m

Mature

biography dawson humor shane youtubers

From his first vlog back in 2008 to his full-length film directorial debut Not Cool, Shane Dawson has been an open book when it comes to documenting his life. But behind the music video spoofs, TMI love life details, and outrageous commentary on everything the celebrity and Internet world has the nerve to dish out is a guy who grew up in a financially challenged but loving home in Long Beach, California, and who suffered all the teasing and social limitations that arise when you're a morbidly obese kid with a pretty face, your mom is your best friend, and you can't get a date to save your life.

In I Hate Myselfie, Shane steps away from his larger-than-life Internet persona and takes us deep into the experiences of an eccentric and introverted kid, who by observing the strange world around him developed a talent that would inspire millions of fans. Intelligent, hilarious, heartbreaking, and raw, I Hate Myselfie is a collection of eighteen personal essays about how messy life can get when you're growing up and how rewarding it can feel when the clean-up is (pretty much) done.All Rights Reserved

biography dawson humor shane youtubers

Table of contents

12 parts

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It Wasn't Love ✔️ by depressedn0nce

"Fuck." He whispers into my neck, sending a thrill of excitement through my body. His lips still smothered kisses over my neck and his hands roamed my body, starting at my chest, going down to my stomach. Caressing my soft skin, his thumb trailed circles on my groin before slightly slipping into the waistband of my jeans. My breath catches in my throat as I pull at the hoodie that covered his chiselled body. Understanding, Jacob pulls it off in one swift movement before attaching his lips back on my neck. Sucking and biting it before flicking his tongue over the sore spot. A quiet moan leaves my mouth and I clasp my hand over it, denying any noise to escape. "You drive me fucking crazy, Aria." ---------------------------- Aria Bailey finds it hard to fit in. Her parents are always busy and never have time for her. She lives alone at her family home and has top grades in all of her classes. But being a 17 year old friendless nerd comes with its disadvantages. The bullying gets worse every single day, driving her to self harm and suicidal thoughts. Aria learns more about popular boy, Jacob Rickson and starts developing feelings for the well known 18 year old. Jacob helps her come out of her shell and learn to be more comfortable and confident. Aria has to make a tough decision by choosing if she would rather be with Jacob and be bullied by her mind for eternity, or to leave and be left alone, exactly how she wants to be. -Strangers to lovers -Right person, wrong time

On My Own (A Shoey Fanfic) by BraidsForever

[COMPLETE!!] Joey becomes slightly disturbed by his strange obsession with the time Shane kissed him. He must figure out the way he feels—and fast! If he takes too long, he might just end up on his own…

Falling for a Star (Complete) by ShellyWritesBooks

I had never paid much attention to celebrity gossip or what was going on in Hollywood because that was so far from the lifestyle I lived as a poor college student, working as a barista to save up for my own house after graduation. But then, without my knowledge, my Dad submitted my name into a talk show sweepstakes to win a week with Hollywood superstar Dylan Chase, to see what it's like to live like a celebrity for a week. My Dad thought it would be the perfect chance for me to get out of Iowa, see the world and have an adventure for once. I was dreading leaving home, flying for the first time and going by myself all the way to L.A. Plus the idea of spending a week with an arrogant, rich, snobby actor that was probably the worst kind of womanizer didn't sound like my idea of fun. What I found when I got there and met Dylan was the total opposite; a man that was humble, hard working, easy to talk to, and down to earth. Spending a week in Paradise in the guest house of Dylan Chase's Malibu mansion right on the beach, attending a movie premiere on his arm, shopping on Rodeo Drive and eating at five star restaurants was like a dream come true, but sleeping in his bed and falling for a guy from a completely different world than me was never part of the plan, because him and I could never end up together. WARNING - 18+ Very mature sexual scenes. Highest Rankings: 1st place Winner of the 2022 JamBoard Awards in the Chicklit category. #9 in Romance out of 1.9 million stories. #1 in Famous out of 26,000 stories. #1 in Celebrity out of 18,000 stories #1 in Fame out of 1,700 stories. #2 in Erotic Romance out of 12,000 stories.

Falling For A Douchebag (Shane Dawson Fanfic) by Fangirlishgeek

Strong language Alison, a newbie YouTuber, who is 24 years old has a bit of a crush on the one and only, Shane Dawson. When she moves to L.A to pursue her dream of acting, she meets a young stranger. They end up in a relationship, but she feels trapped in it. He's a complete and total ass munch. When her videos start to become popular on YouTube, she's asked to do a collab with THE Shane Dawson! Things start to heat up, but will she be able to get out of her horrible relationship before Shane falls for someone else? Because that perfect love shit just doesn't exist. Just to clarify shane isn't the douche, he would never. If you've seen this cover and these words and the same title before you might've. I had to make a new account because I couldn't log in no matter what I tried to my other account so I made this one.

I'll Be Your SuperLuv (Shane Dawson Love Story) by KimAckermann

Emily lives in a small town in pittsburgh living a simple life.while her long time friend Shane Dawson is living in California.but what happens when Emily decides to contact him again after a long time of not speaking to each other.Shane receives her letter and reads it only remembering a lot about their friendship.will they still continue being friends or will Lisa try to get in their way.journey into the life of Emily and Shane.

Old friend (Markiplier x depressed reader!) by Asrigu

You have 22 years old and you are currently living with your abusive boyfriend Adam. You and Mark were best friends all through grade school and high school until each of you went your own way and you haven't spoken since. You haven't forgotten about him, you had a crush on him since little. You have been following him on YouTube since the beginning and every day you watch his videos secretly of Adam, you miss Mark a lot until one day on the grocery store... There are some changes on this story, Mark has 22 years like you, and Amy and Mark live together but not as a couple they are just good friends. TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️⚠️⚠️ This story contains: - Self harm - abusive relationship - abuse - suicide attempt - maybe smut? -mention of rape There will be not trigger warnings during the story except from possible smut that you can just skip and the story will continue. The warnings are there and you have been already warned. So, this is my first history and i will try my best, i need to warn that my English is not perfect and sometimes the corrector put other words in spanish or i write something wrong. please if I write something wrong tell me.

His Unwanted Desire by Gujiya

I pushed him with as much force as I could which made him stumble slightly but he succeeded in maintaining his balance and escaped from falling. That was when I got a chance to see his face. Oh, my gosh!! He is so handsome...wait...I have seen him somewhere...somewhere...what the...!! He...he is Mr. Shane Adams, the CEO of Adams' Empire. But why the heck did he kiss me? Did he misunderstand me for someone? "How dare you push me? Do you even know who I am?" He asked, angrily. "Don't give me that shit of 'Do you know who I am?' I know who you are, but how dare you kiss me without my permission?" I spat back. My statement fueled his anger and now he was extremely furious. He had his hand balled into a fist. He slowly came closer to me and stopped just inches from me. "You lousy mouse. You are nothing but a slut. Do you hear me? You.are.a.slut!" he whispered into my ear from my back holding both of my hands tightly. I could no longer take it as I was beyond furious at this point. I punched him hard on his handsome face and the side of his lips started bleeding. Serves him better! And this is how they met; Lara and Shane. Neither are they poles apart nor do they lie on the same side of the coin. But there's something that attracts them to each other again and again. Get indulged in the romantic love-story of Shane and Lara. PS: You might find this story a bit of a cliche.

broken | shyland ✓ by stardustshyland

[completed] whilst tackling adulthood and the struggles of growing up, ryland falls apart, and shane tries so desperately hard to piece him back together. - ryland adams is broken. really, he is. people who walk past him and enter his life for just a millisecond leave with shards of glass in their bare feet. he's just moved to california, carrying a suitcase full of cheating ex boyfriends and fake friends behind him, and his parents are forcing him to wipe the slate clean and start again. to get better. after realising that shane dawson - class clown and local heart throb - lives next door, he has the opportunity to let the boy heal his cuts and bruises. but is someone still holding onto shane's heart by a single thread that's far more powerful than ryland will ever be? © wattpad 2019

Coffee at 5 AM √ by LenaHal

"Wait," I put my hands on my hips and frown. "You woke me up to ask me this? Because you want to meet me every morning at five?" "Yes." "So you honestly expect me to throw away three hours of perfectly good sleep just to have coffee with you?" He rolls his eyes and smirks at me. "Yes." "And what's in it for me?" he takes a step towards me. "Duh. You get to drink coffee with me every day for a year," he points at his face. "Are you going to say no to this pretty face, are you?" I hand him a five-dollar bill. "Fine, I'll do it," he smiles. "Now go get me a mocha latte and a cream cheese bagel." √ √ √ Ella Cliff has always been the girl with a perfect Instagram feed, an amazing closet and boyfriends to die for. But Ella isn't who she appears to be. In reality, she despises the role she's playing. Waking up at four A.M. and having meltdowns are daily routines for her and she feels like she's all alone. Meet Connor Black, a boy with a smirk that makes girls swoon, who loves romance novels and who also hates 99% of the population. He's the most popular boy at his school, even though he doesn't talk to anyone. So, what happens when Ella, a girl living a double life, and Connor, a boy with severe depression, meet? What happens if they fall in love? And what would happen if they told everyone the truth? WARNING: This story contains insomnia, depression, and thoughts about suicide Coffee at 5 AM by Maura H. Copyright © 2020 All Rights Reserved

„You don't know me!" | Jacksepticeye x reader by that_crazy_girl_x

You are 26 years old, have a youtube channel with almost 10 million subscribers. You decided to move out from your parents house in Germany to Brighton. Since you were 15, jacksepticeye was your idol but you never had the chance to meet him in person until now.... This book will not have smut only fluff Disclaimer: Do NOT read this if you are not comfortable with Depression, Suicide, Anxiety and Abuse. Thanks and have fun :) Highest rankings: #4 jacksepticeyexreader (december 2018) #1 tryingmybest (January 2019) #394 jse (Feburary 2019) #21 septic (May 2019) #705 youtuber (April 2019)

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Slide 1 of 10

It Wasn't Love ✔️ cover

On My Own (A Shoey Fanfic) cover

Falling for a Star (Complete) cover

Falling For A Douchebag (Shane Dawson Fanfic) cover

I'll Be Your SuperLuv (Shane Dawson Love Story) cover

Old friend (Markiplier x depressed reader!) cover

His Unwanted Desire cover

broken | shyland ✓ cover

Coffee at 5 AM √ cover

„You don't know me!" | Jacksepticeye x reader cover

It Wasn't Love ✔️

"Fuck." He whispers into my neck, sending a thrill of excitement through my body. His lips still smothered kisses over my neck and his hands roamed my body, starting at my chest, going down to my stomach. Caressing my soft skin, his thumb trailed circles on my groin before slightly slipping into the waistband of my jeans. My breath catches in my throat as I pull at the hoodie that covered his chiselled body. Understanding, Jacob pulls it off in one swift movement before attaching his lips back on my neck. Sucking and biting it before flicking his tongue over the sore spot. A quiet moan leaves my mouth and I clasp my hand over it, denying any noise to escape. "You drive me fucking crazy, Aria." ---------------------------- Aria Bailey finds it hard to fit in. Her parents are always busy and never have time for her. She lives alone at her family home and has top grades in all of her classes. But being a 17 year old friendless nerd comes with its disadvantages. The bullying gets worse every single day, driving her to self harm and suicidal thoughts. Aria learns more about popular boy, Jacob Rickson and starts developing feelings for the well known 18 year old. Jacob helps her come out of her shell and learn to be more comfortable and confident. Aria has to make a tough decision by choosing if she would rather be with Jacob and be bullied by her mind for eternity, or to leave and be left alone, exactly how she wants to be. -Strangers to lovers -Right person, wrong time