""What in the actual fuck are you doing?" She deadpanned. I glanced at her from my coffee soaked bagel curiously. She stared at the food in my hand disgustedly, yet amused. Her voice was so quiet, yet still very animated. Talking to girls, or people in general, was never my forte so I wordlessly held out the dripping piece of bread to her. My face felt red hot as her eyes went back and forth between me and the bagel. For some reason, this moment felt vitally important. My life depended on her taking this admittedly not very appealing snack from my hand. Maybe it was the concussion, or the sleep deprivation, or my all around shitty day, but if she didn't take this thing from me in about two seconds I would start crying.
She grabbed the bagel from my hand gingerly, pinched between her forefinger and thumb, and ate it in one big bite. A trail on coffee rolled down her chin. I watched her chew slowly and swallow, awaiting critical judgment, but instead, she said something even better.
"I'm Rhiannon. Lane."'
A coming of age novel loosely inspired by Catcher In The Rye. Thank you to my boyfriend for his undying support and to all of my high school English teachers who sparked the love of writing in my veins.
Title from a Charles Manson song. Cover art from Tumblr.
Ella is falling apart trying to live a "perfect" high school life. Then she meets Ren, who can see past her scars. Suddenly perfection isn't her only option.
*****
Ella Volkov is a gifted music student, but she's depressed and starting to crack under the pressure of high school. Her overbearing father won't even let her choose what instrument she plays. Then she finds herself alone at a party with Ren, her best friend's crush. She'd always thought he was rude, but after that night he's all Ella can think about. Now she's trapped. If Ella dates Ren, it will ruin her friendship with Jenny. But if she stays true to Jenny, she's losing the one person who can see past her scars. It's up to Ella to decide if she will forge her own path, or stay in the "perfect" box designed for her...
Content and/or Trigger Warning: depression, anxiety, self-harm, violence, sexual assault.
[[word count: 50,000-100,000 words]]