2016-12-17

2016-12-17

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WpMetadataReadMatureOngoing<5 mins
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Sat, Dec 17, 2016
On the verge of resorting to reckless sexual activity to satisfy my innate need for love and security/insecurity. I want to be disrespected, leave none of me uncovered.
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Content warning: There are sections of writing in this book which contain references to suicidal ideation, self-harm, hallucinations and delusions both psychotic and neurotic. The writing within this book is the direct writing from my day-to-day diary that had been kept from 6 January, 2020 until May 24, 2020. Serendipitously, I was in the middle of a great struggle when I first began writing in it, and it eventually became too much to bear. There was inevitably a so-called awakening, which gave me the very simple knowing of who I am (and who you are) and which allowed me to deepen within myself through this knowing. It was a stillness that was such an obvious thing in my existence that it had always been subconsciously overlooked as unimportant. It isn't satisfying to the mind to just be, but it is infinitely satisfying to the being to just be. Nothing is missing and nothing needs to be found. This is the simplicity of the still, non-phenomenal being which is in fact yourself and myself, as one Self. This book is something which came out of that stillness, and held within it is an attempt to point towards whatever this is that I have discovered as myself. I do hope that you find it somewhat enjoyable and perhaps learn a thing or two about yourself. Thank you.

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