Joke Book

Joke Book

Reads 133
Votes 42
Parts 20

Ongoing<5 mins

Last published Wed, Jan 11, 2017

funny funnyjokes humor jokebook jokes

Welcome to joke world!! Hope you have fun. Please if you want to add a joke of your own just send me a message

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Quotes/Rants/Confessions
I like to rant, I'm good at it or so I've been told. If you also like to rant come join me I love to rant with people! Also confession of mine, because these are things I'd never tell people. If you'd like to have one of your confessions shared here let me know they will be posted anonymously. *~* I can't afford a therapist so this is my therapy, join me! -Twerkoff
Draco's quote book
Hello this is a version of my quote book that I have decided to share! This quote book is still very much on going as me and my friends still have lots of funny things to say! This quote book originally started as a book I had in a Minecraft realm but it has since been moved to a different format. Warning as some of the quotes contain swearing, some innuendos, and other things That sound bad out of context. Some quotes are the actual screenshots while others are just text. So I hope you enjoy all the out of context quotes said by the people of the KnockBack and DragonVerse/Dragon Slayer discord servers and others!
Bitch, You Knew?!
Book Request, Rants, Shoutouts, Follow Spree, Etc.
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sad or happy - choose
Many of us are not happy about ourselves, something we have done or not done, or the way we react to other people. We keep recycling sad thoughts until they become what we are. We can break this cycle . . . we really can choose to be happy. For most people being happy is not difficult but it does require persistence to undo the habits of a life time. There are many simple techniques to promote happiness. Some of them you probably heard from your grandmother . . . but there are other, less obvious ways. The brain makes up about 2 percent of a human's body weight, uses 20% of the oxygen consumed by the body and . . . is often not under our control. Proof? Try counting slowly with your eyes closed in a quiet place. How far did you get before you lost count and started thinking about something else? Many people can't make it past ten. Drugs are not the answer. Why risk addiction while destroying your lungs and your brain with alcohol, nicotine (smoking tobacco or vaping), cannabis (marijuana), opium derived drugs like Oxycontin or other unnecessary and unhealthy chemicals? If you need to dispel a bad mood, use one or more meditation techniques, evolution's natural way to obtain happiness. There are external causes of unhappiness and these are discussed in later chapters. I appreciate, and will respond to, questions, comments, suggestions (and votes). Thanks for reading. Dunc MacPhun. .
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I DON'T KNOW
This is my blog. Containing all rants, thoughts, and opinions about this crazy Mofo we call earth. All of these may or may not target certain things, but are not MEANT to offend any readers. As it is used purely for humor and comedy, so if any of you decide to go to the comments and whine about it I will just laugh at your stupidity. So as a last note before you delve into the hilarious (and strange) thoughts and experiences of well, Me, Most things in these words are mine. And feel free to use them whenever you like. ~C
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𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒 | | 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬 [𝐄.𝐌]
𝐊𝐢𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐲 𝐂𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐲 - 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐚𝐰𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐬, 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. 𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐝, 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟𝐟, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥. 𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 '𝟖𝟓, 𝐲𝐞𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭, 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐨𝐫. 𝐊𝐢𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐦𝐚 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐠𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫. 𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞. 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬, 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧?
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A Teenagers life
I'm terrible at descriptions but just give my book a try i promise you won't regret it. I'm pretty funny ik if you really are funny you shouldn't have to say that but y'all might not even read the book so you might not be able to look in to my unique humor. Please read it I'm begging you please I got a chocolate addiction to feed hear people please read this book
Complete
LAUGH FUCKING ASS OUT
* MATURE CONTENT WARNING* If your already reading this then your in the right place. Now stop wasting your time here and start reading for a fun ride of laughs! Coughs! & hiccups!
Complete
Anxiety
Anxiety is not a joke. This is based on Anxiety, some poems and what not. So, enjoy. Some of these aren't mine, the owners get the credit. (Most came off this website; http://hellopoetry.com with the Anxiety hash-tag) I am using other people's poems and words because its hard to describe. And these poems honestly need to be seen by others. Any hateful comments, will be deleted. Thank you for reading. **WARNING** I guess this is a little triggering. Not really sure, but I'm just warning you now.
Complete
Pass me the coffee or wine!
A very real portrayal of being a working mother and wife, the trials and tribulations, the hilarious day to day. If your easily offended this may not be for you, I write how I speak and say things. Just imagine a thick, broad Yorkshire accent. I swear, a lot. From navigating being a first time mum, from new born to school age, to being a wife and your own person, these are personal stories with humour and plenty of love. I hope it makes you cry happy tears, brings you side splitting laughs, and general feelings of " yes, I know how you feel, I know what you mean"
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Quotes/Rants/Confessions

I like to rant, I'm good at it or so I've been told. If you also like to rant come join me I love to rant with people! Also confession of mine, because these are things I'd never tell people. If you'd like to have one of your confessions shared here let me know they will be posted anonymously. *~* I can't afford a therapist so this is my therapy, join me! -Twerkoff

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