Hiraeth!
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MatureOngoing<5 mins
Last published Tue, Mar 12, 2019
//Hiraeth//
There is no other way to explain homesickness for a home that most likely can never be returned to. Or perhaps the longing for a non - existent home. If all honesty must come forth, I might as well say it loud and clear; many people live in houses. But it is, as sad as it sounds, very uncommon for someone to have a home. I had a home once. We all did. But alot of things happen as you grow up. People change. People lie. Trauma occurs. Trauma passes. All it takes is one event, to bring people together. It brings people together who swore to themselves they would never speak again. Sometimes it's for the best. Most of the time it isn't. It'll seem like nothing is a good thing, if you're watching over life with a pessimistic view.
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"Don't make homes out of people. This will leave you homesick and sad, missing arms that cannot hold roofs, hearts with shaky foundations." I made a home out of him. He was where I curled up and cried. He was where I felt most comfortable. He was where no makeup was worn. He was my foundation. He built me up, but I never felt like I was truly his home. I knew I was his true home, but I felt like nothing but his guest house, where he'd stay when he was drunk or just had a lot on his mind. Where he'd crash when he was on a downfall. Where he felt most comfortable, sometimes... Only sometimes. But, I still loved him... I had no place to judge him, seeing as though I wasn't even a halfway house when we met... I just wish my home was more welcoming sometimes. I wish my home had warm colors on his walls so I could feel more at ease sometimes. I wish my home had no doors so he wouldn't be able to shut me out so often. I wish my home was made out of something other than bricks and steel so he couldn't be so cold sometimes.. One night, he told me, "As long as I'm your home... You'll never need any other shelter." So, I stayed. And, I got adjusted to those black and white walls and those hard doors and that foundation made of bricks and steel. I made a home out of him, and I'm living comfortably sheltered from the world. And, I'm afraid I'll never be able to move out.
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