The Run To The Light Part (2)

There is light at the end of the track, despite my journey in the darkness. Whether close or far ill find a way. But when? I'm still trapped and chained to the ground, not visible to the naked eye, but guilt and regret. Three autumns later I came to the forest to try remember.

As time passes by you begin to feel less human as your alone but more a ghost walking. To be honest I am very much tired of running from my past but even who I am now . Tired of believing everything will be okay. Time froze. The fragile tears stopped stabbing the soil, but instead stopped and if you look close enough you could see all the memories STOP!... before crashing like a thud or like two atomic particles crashing to one leaving nothing but darkness. I have dreaded for too long. Now! I lived in denial for half my life, how much longer will it consume? If there's even the slightest chance of salvation, leave a sign, signal, direction ANYTHING...

Henry James wrote "Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create a fact" but how can I when everything is gone?

I'm a paradox. I want to be happy. But I think of things that make me sad. I'm lazy, but very much ambitious. I don't like myself, but I should love who I am/was. Say I don't care but in reality I do. I'm a conflicted contradiction. If I can't figure myself out, there's no way anybody else has. So where does one stand?

I used to think sometimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. We walk away not because we want others to realise our worth and value. But because maybe we finally realize our own. Whether straight away or through time.

Life only comes around once, so do whatever makes you happy, and be with whoever makes you smile. Everyone I have cared about has been erased but left with imprints for me to discover.