Carmel Reflections

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Votes 370
Parts 40
Time 1h 54m

Reads 2,821
Votes 370
Parts 40
Time 1h 54m

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Ever wonder what it's all about? I need to try and work it out. I'll just begin  with the deer.


This is about what and who and where strength comes from.All Rights Reserved

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40 parts

#110nevergiveup

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My life in ruins, this is where I'm at currently. I was living a lie, lying to people and most importantly to myself. You can act straight all you want, you can try to convince yourself that, but no matter how hard you try. The truth is always revealed. What did I do? I stroked her face, and told her she was still beautiful, then I bent down and kissed her. One of those soft, yet deep, gut wrenching, I'll always love you, but I have to let you go, goodbye kisses. Then I rested my forehead on hers and closed my eyes. I saw the past that we had, all of the memories we had together, I took them in, I felt the feelings again, I processed them. Then I saw the dreams that we dreamed for our future, I saw all of our plans that we made, I felt them, I felt the pain of what would never be, and then I released it all. I didn't realize I was sobbing until I felt her hand graze over the tears. I opened my eyes, blinked away the tears I had left, and smiled. She returned my smile. We knew at that point that no matter what happened, we would be ok.............. This is my struggle, this is my journey. Join me for the ride, but make sure you wear your helmet.

If you have paid for a copy of this e-book, please demand for your money back because this is free. Please feel free to give out a copy of this e-book to everyone you know who needs it. I have written this for confused women who don't know how to value themselves. I've written this book for that young lady who doesn't see her worth. I have written this for that insecure girl who wants to take her own life because she feels her life isn't worth living anymore. May God use the words in this to breathe life into tired souls. What makes me qualified to write this kind of e-book? I can tell you that I was once very insecure about myself. I have been all that I've mentioned above. When I was a child, I had death wishes. When I grew into a teenager, I wanted to kill myself or wanted to disappear and be invisible. When I grew into adulthood, I was so insecure about my own self-worth that I let it stop me from living the life I was supposed to live. But I outgrew all of these because I grew confident - confident of God and myself. I won't say that I've reached the perfect level of confidence but I grew up a lot. In this e-book, I will talk about confidence and identity. I hope you will take the time to take this growth development with me. I have made this a God-book because after all - God is the source of confidence.

Life, that's the funny thing about it. We always wanted things to go the way that we imagined it too, but of course plans just always have to change. What if we could've thought about how we wanted our lives to go from in the womb? Wouldn't that make everything so much better? What if we could've created our husbands/wives for ourselves, would that make us a God/Deity? Maybe, just maybe. We were all just living our truths and we needed people to come into our lives to shine the light where we always played blind to. This was about to be the reality of everything that we tried so hard to envisioned for ourselves. Truths are about to be tested, faith was about to be questioned and most importantly Love was about to be granted.

THAT FIRST BREAK (Broken Redemption Prequel 1) by ArianaClarkAuthor

Choosing her cost me everything I'd ever loved... including her. I had everything a guy could ask for, a loving family, the perfect small-town life, and a promising future I had worked hard for. It should have been enough. She was off-limits, my parent's best friend's daughter, practically my sister. I fought my feelings, pretending our soul-deep connection didn't exist. When she confessed she felt the same, I pushed her away, believing our friendship mattered more than temporary infatuation. That she agreed should have come as a relief, but it left me with this void I didn't know how to fill. It's what drove me to the bonfire that night. Right there, with our friends as witnesses, I claimed her. Told her I loved her and made her promises I shouldn't have made. Hours later, it all came crashing down in a whirlwind of fire and ashes. That one split-second choice to go after a girl that wasn't meant for me cost me everything I loved. I never should have crossed that line or given in. It's why she'll forever be my greatest love and deepest regret. This tragic story is the beginning of our end...

I'm trying to keep my eyes open while hearing the noises of doctors and the beeps of machines. It's feeling like something is going away from me. I'm trying my best to keep my conscious. But second by second my strength is draining and pain is increasing into my head and whole body. But right now , I don't give damn to my own self. Anything could happen to me. I don't care. But nothing should happen to my child ... he should survive and live his life unlike his mother "who never got anything in her life. First I couldn't get the love from my parents "which i deserved.." then i got the husband "who don't give shit to my existence. My whole life went trying to get the piece of love "which I at least deserved once in my life . But no one dared to give to me and now god is snatching my last happiness as well. Which is my child. When I'd got to know about him. A ray of hope I'd felt in my life. I thought at least now I'll able to get someone whom I could call mine. But seems like god couldn't see me stay happy and now I'm laying on death bed holding my womb pleading to god that he should keep my baby safe. But I guess he can't see me happy and soon I heard doctor's faint voice " who announced baby is no more. We lost the baby. He whispered looking at other doctors being dejected. Tears made their ways from my twitching eyes..' and I felt like to scream and cry bitterly. All the emotions are gushing towards my brain and heart. but being numb on the bed made me so helpless that I can't even cry. After battling I couldn't hold my sanity and fell unconscious.

Ten Bible Principles For A Better Living by PatraTheDreamer

ALREADY PUBLISHED*****AMAZON****Life is very hard, each day we struggle to make it and we wonder where is God? God gave us common sense for a reason, but through struggles and trials we become wiser. In my time as a christian and experiencing life, I have found some simple principals that can forever change anyone's life. Little do we know that the smallest things can change our lives for good. The Bible is full of a wealth of knowledge, combine that with experience and you have life changing words. Whether you are worrying too much, or stressed practice a change in your life and get results! This is the complete free guide all that I ask is you encourage somebody else!

[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression

In this world of hunters and the hunted, To survive, one must grow stronger. Will you become a hunter of demons, Or merely the prey of these fiends? Everything depends solely on your strength...

I'm not sure how to start this; to be honest, I'm not even sure how to write this. If there's one place we can start, my brain, the most fragile yet sacred thing I've ever owned. Again, I'm unsure how or where to start with this, but let's start by being honest. I think a lot, and I'm sure you do too, so let's think together. (this is an original piece)

BROKEN COURAGE (Broken Redemption Book 3) by ArianaClarkAuthor

While tortured and held captive as a prisoner of war, she became my reason to keep breathing. The force that fueled my will to fight. To survive. When I woke after the rescue to discover the life I thought I was coming home to was but a figment of my imagination, hallucinations brought about by pain, desperation, and isolation... it nearly broke me. Fifteen years since I first lost her, at last, we have a second chance. Holding her in my arms, finally feeling the warmth of her skin as she melts under my touch, is like a dream. She and her two little girls are now as essential to my existence as the air I breathe. However, just as things start falling into place, the universe steps in, threatening to take it all away. I used to think that choosing her cost me everything I'd ever loved, but now I see that in choosing her and her children, I have the chance to reclaim all that I lost. They are my salvation. My true path to redemption. Which is why I'll leave no stone unturned, why I will scorch this world to the ground if that's what it takes to save them. And when I do, I will fight to convince her once and for all they are meant to be mine, just as I was destined to be theirs.

If I Try (Lesbian Story)

My life in ruins, this is where I'm at currently. I was living a lie, lying to people and most importantly to myself. You can act straight all you want, you can try to convince yourself that, but no matter how hard you try. The truth is always revealed. What did I do? I stroked her face, and told her she was still beautiful, then I bent down and kissed her. One of those soft, yet deep, gut wrenching, I'll always love you, but I have to let you go, goodbye kisses. Then I rested my forehead on hers and closed my eyes. I saw the past that we had, all of the memories we had together, I took them in, I felt the feelings again, I processed them. Then I saw the dreams that we dreamed for our future, I saw all of our plans that we made, I felt them, I felt the pain of what would never be, and then I released it all. I didn't realize I was sobbing until I felt her hand graze over the tears. I opened my eyes, blinked away the tears I had left, and smiled. She returned my smile. We knew at that point that no matter what happened, we would be ok.............. This is my struggle, this is my journey. Join me for the ride, but make sure you wear your helmet.

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