Elowen

' Dan no - fuck off ' I say harshly - trying to keep my expression cold and hard while my insides cripple and my heart sinks through the earths mantle .
' I - I don't understand , I - I love you ' he says his eyes brimming with tears as I back away from him when he tries to reach his hand out to me .
' exactly - I never wanted this ' I say turning away - too afraid he'll see I'm lying . I feel as though I'm going to cave over onto the pavement as I walk away . Pain impales my chest as I hear him yell my name . He promises me we can work it out . He begs me to come back . I walk faster .
He doesn't come after me as I turn the corner out of his sight and out of his life . He didn't follow because I asked him not to , I only wish he could read between the lines and see the great 'I love you' that my tears spell out to him , as I get back into the cigarette smoke filled car and I'm driven away from the only love I've really ever known .
' it had to be done ' he says lighting up another cigarette .
' no - not like this ' I whisper
' girls like you - they don't mix with guys like him - '
' you mean the papers don't pay for girls like me ' I interrupt him through gritted teeth .
' I'm glad you understand ' he says with a bitter smile . I bite my tongue and refuse to lash out on him . It's done now and he'll never speak to me again . There's no point in being angry - I don't have the energy to be .
He was my only energy . My everything .