I Thought it was Me..

I Thought it was Me..

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♥Nayah has a secret crush on the most hottest guy on her campus but this guy doesn't seem to know that she exist in this world until the day when this guy talked to her and she passed out. But how can she take being with him if every time this guy talks, smiles or even look at her she feels like instantly grasping for air? This guy is perfectly gorgeous and 'he' takes her breath away. She thought he like her too but she was wrong.. "I-I thought it was me." She can't hold her tears anymore. She can feel a pain on her throat. It seems that something was blocking in it. She can never breath for more. All the things… The sweet things that happened between them came rushing in her mind – As if it slowly breaks into pieces like a glass shattered into the floor. Until the first tear dropped. All the pain wasn't enough to be seen in her eyes. She felt being used, being betrayed and being lost. The guy she love so much didn't love her ... NEVER DID </3
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YuanFen

What we have is just now. As long as she loves me. As long as she wants to be with me. As long as there is 'we'. I love her! But the rainbow is not just a blend of vibrant and bright colors. It doesn't even stay for a long period of time-- just enough for us to see and in a fleet of time is gone, leaving us wondering if it's real. A rainbow doesn't have black and white. It wasn't just like that. Same as love. Same as us. There were times that i want to give her up. Not because my love did fade, rather, my love is too much. Too much that letting her go is the only option left for her to choose me without hesitation, without guilt, freed of lies. I want her to grow, to weigh things as it is. I want her to make me feel that being with me is her choice. I want her to realize that i am hers and that she have to surrender herself to me as well. I want her to love me because that is the way she feels and not because it was the safest way. Being with her is paradise. It was a mixture of colored pastel. It was too vibrant to explain. But at a sudden twist of downs and ups, we are shaking. Loving her has become my weakness. The weakening thought of losing her when I fuck up is too much to run me insane. I'm overreacting perhaps. But being with her, means walking in a narrow-road of heaven. There's no security, no assurance. One wrong move, and I'll be slipping away. Just in the never ending pain of darkness, of solitude, of self-struggle. Loving her has become my addiction. I couldn't get enough of it. But so they say, what's too much can cause harm. Maybe I'm loving her too much that she finds it hard to breathe when i'm around. But yes, it is just a wishful thinking; things that I'll surely not going to say to her because i will never ever earn the courage to say so. We are just nothing but a 'fateful coincidence.'

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