The Feeling Underneath - Elisia - Wattpad

The Feeling Underneath

Reads 4,988
Votes 322
Parts 17
Time 1h 56m

Reads 4,988
Votes 322
Parts 17
Time 1h 56m

Mature

badboy betrayal boy death depression friends girl love nonsociable pain self-harm suicidal

"The stars are infinite. And all I've ever wanted was an infinite."

______________

All I knew was pain. Pain was I, and I was pain. We shared each other, mind and body. Me and pain were made for each other like puzzle pieces, and that sickened me. I loved pain, I hated pain. I loved bringing the knife to my wrist, but I hated the ache in my chest, like drowning.

There was nothing I sought more than my own self destruction. And here, amongst the stars, skies, and cliffs, I'd find what I sought. I'd make it mine. I'd become infinite. 

WARNING: this story contains abuse, self harm, and suicide. Do not read if these topics can trigger something within you. Please, know your limits.All Rights Reserved

badboy betrayal boy death depression friends girl love nonsociable pain self-harm suicidal

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17 parts

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Your Guardian Angel by miss_she_wolf

It feels like I'm living in a world full of lies... My life is full of lies. My life is wreck. My life is a disaster. I want to run but I can't. There holding me back. They keep me chained to this horrible place. The pain they give me is unbearable but I need to survive this hell hole just to escape. It seems like there lies are already enough to give me pain but they don't stop there. They keep doing it as if they want me to be dead from this pain. I was alone. At least I thought I was. Until he came. He was my new neighbor. He is an irresistible bad boy. When he came into my life it was just like your car crashed into a concrete wall and you went flying because of the impact it made. Well that's how its gonna be when he crashed into my miserable life. And he made a big impact and changed my whole life...

Bloom by h2_hoeeee_

"I hate you." I scream in his face, not realizing that he has me backed up against a wall, only inches away from me. "I hate you." I whisper again, my breathing heavier and my drained feeble body aching with desire. His proximity is killing me and making me feel alive at the same time. "I hate you too." And our lips crash together. ..... Zayn finds Stella irresistible. Stella finds Zayn irresistible. It was simple. Resist. But no one can ever resist their body, can they? As their past torments them, their present tests them. A thin string holding them together. When love paves it's way between the two, that string is threatened to break by their past as well as their hearts. If there was any love at all. NOT EDITED WARNING: PHYSICAL ABUSE, DEPRESSION, RAPE AND ALOT OF SPICE 🌶️🌶️

The Girl Who Jumped by ch3rry_h34rts

I stood on the edge of the rooftop. My eyes closed and my mind free. I'm ready. Now is the time. I could feel my breath quickening, Breathe in, Breathe out. I slowly start to gain composure of my thoughts. I can hear the people on the ground. I can see them entering the building in their perfect dresses with their perfect hair. I look down at my Royal Blue gown and smile. It's time. I slowly exhale and let myself fall. I'm free. Well, that's what I thought when I jumped, but the world hates me. So now. I'm alive and kicking, quite literally kicking in fact. Paisley George is a screw up, her "True Love" even knew it. So she jumped, but her.... attempted suicide was a failure, now she is stuck living with her grandma. event after event, Paisley ends up becoming friends with the towns bad boys and maybe she might just fall in love with one. You never know.

Cold Water by adaline_meadows

[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression

Doubts 2 by SherryB915

Part 2 of "Doubts" It was that same feeling I felt deep inside me the day my grandparents left me. My stomach began to cringe. My throat was in knots. My breathing had gotten hard. My instincts were telling me something just wasn't right. I felt useless and alone... I had always knew pain my whole life but this was next level. That feeling of holding back and regret filled my veins with agony. I was lost in my thoughts. My heart felt colder and colder with every minute that passed by. Who am I ? Who am I really ? What is my purpose in this life that I lived? That I once knew ..... why did this bad luck fall upon my life? What did I do to deserve this ? I'm cursed. I have to be. I cried so much in that hospital bed that no tears seemed to want to fall anymore. I had no tears left in me to shed. When Akeem left this room, I knew it would be the last time that I would see him. My better half. My Ace. My love. My husband. My life. Gone. Forever. It wasn't confirmed but I knew it. I just knew it. Life fucked me hard. So why not throw it back.

A Taste Of Life by _sincerelysammie

Him: I hate myself. For what I did to her, for leaving, for everything. But what was I supposed to do? Love her while letting myself destruct? Now I have to live my life without her. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I miss her. Her: I should of known something like this was going to happen. I should of known I would only get hurt. Why did I have to let him in? I have to move on now, even if it kills me. As if this pain in my heart isn't already tearing me apart. I don't know if I can do this anymore. I miss him. - continuation and sequel to Let Me In.

The Karma Project by knikole_

Today I want to die. Not because of anything in particular or specific, but just because the utter thought of ceasing to exist sounds devastatingly euphoric. To make the noise stop. To stop this stabbing pain in the lowest pit of my stomach that's causing a burning sensation that crawls all over my skin, making me want to peel it off. To stop the guilt that festers every time I take a breath-- an oxygen thief. To stop the constant urge to detonate over anything and everything that dares to love me because in all-- I could never deserve such an honor. Today I want to die. For the longest time, I thought I was just unlucky. That sometimes life doesn't work out for everyone, and for people like me; things just never get better. I had settled into the life of being unlucky, reveled in it, and found comfort in knowing that no matter what; I would just be categorically unlucky. That was until I realized luck had nothing to do with it. It's karma. It's the idea of what goes around comes around, and what goes up must come down. Didn't some philosopher speak to that once? However, it isn't my karma. Well it wasn't at first-- somewhere down the line after all my wrongdoing I'm sure it has switched to mine. But I am the poor soul stuck with my father's karmic retaliation. The karma that he deserves has been thrown against me as some sort of sick cosmic joke-- I'm sure he'd actually celebrate and feast on the fact that once again, he still gets to hurt me even from his grave. Too bad I killed him before he had the chance to see. *Book One in the Karma Duet. Book Two is now in progress, titled: The Karma Study*

To Be Broken by lazylazerkitten

What does it mean to be broken? (I wrote this poem myself) ______________________________ Why be sad? When no one knows how bad You feel your Pain makes you sore. Why be mad? When no one can tell How hard you fell How it hurts MORE than a tad. Why be happy? Be like all those sappy People pretending to be What they want you to see. Why be frightened? Senses heightened Screaming, As sick people are beaming. Why be tired? When no one knows How your wired How you grow. Why be honest? When all known is a broken promise When no one believes you Even if what you say is true. Why hurt? When no one feels your pain When no one's ever alert When you never feel sane. Why pretend? When you know in the end No one will be there Because no one cares. Why care? When no one cares enough for you To know what your going through They think your heart is unfair. Why try? When no one sees that you do They just pry Thinking they know more than you. Why speak? When no one will ever hear They'll say you're a freak They don't see a single tear. Why do anything at all? It's not like anyone will see If you fall If you scream. ____________________________________ "Just admit it Winter. After the whole accident....your broken." "No...No that's where your wrong. I'm not broken. Because to be broken, you had to have been whole in the first place."

Marked By You by yoitzher

NOT EDITED PREPARE FOR SPELLING AND GRAMMAR MISTAKES; TRIGGER WARNING: I suck at putting them in the book so if you need one for any reason this is it. Be careful love:) ~~~~~~ Once you become addicted to something it never goes away. And that's what we are addicted. When addicted you'll do anything to get your next fix and for us that involved fighting, murder, and risking our lives just to see the other breathing. and even when your "sober" you'll always be addicted, that will always be your one true craving. That's exactly what happened too. We would set fire to the world around us and never let a flame touch the other because if we did... ... we'd destroy ourselves in the process. Simply I was marked by him And he was marked by me. ~~~~~ THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GIVING MY BOOK A CHANCE. PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT. I HOPE YOU ENJOY BABE:

Jesse's Girl (COMPLETE) by xHeatLifex

They had both been dealt enough tragedy in their short teenaged lives, more than anyone should ever have to endure. Will two self destructive teens coming together do more harm than good? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I don't know what came over me. The poor guy just asked if he could help and I went all 'crazy psycho bitch' on his ass. I couldn't breath. I needed water. I needed air. Fuck why was is it so hot in here. Was it the fact that the moment his hand left my skin I felt an unbearable need to feel his touch again or was it hearing him ask if I needed help that made me feel helpless and broken once again. I didn't know what it was but I felt like I was suffocating, like the jersey I was wearing was strangling every ounce of oxygen from body. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * This story had been reviewed recently. There are now added scenes and further edits - 2024 *

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Slide 1 of 10

Your Guardian Angel cover

The Girl Who Jumped cover

Cold Water cover

A Taste Of Life cover

The Karma Project cover

To Be Broken cover

Marked By You cover

Jesse's Girl (COMPLETE) cover

Your Guardian Angel

It feels like I'm living in a world full of lies... My life is full of lies. My life is wreck. My life is a disaster. I want to run but I can't. There holding me back. They keep me chained to this horrible place. The pain they give me is unbearable but I need to survive this hell hole just to escape. It seems like there lies are already enough to give me pain but they don't stop there. They keep doing it as if they want me to be dead from this pain. I was alone. At least I thought I was. Until he came. He was my new neighbor. He is an irresistible bad boy. When he came into my life it was just like your car crashed into a concrete wall and you went flying because of the impact it made. Well that's how its gonna be when he crashed into my miserable life. And he made a big impact and changed my whole life...