Flu thoughts

Flu thoughts

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Thu, Jan 12, 2017
Some days I feel like I don't know what my purpose is. And I know lots of people feel that way. Many of us wander around in this life working jobs because we need money. We talk to the people we talk to because they are convenient. We do what we think is right until we feel in our hearts that we are unhappy. I do not know what would ultimately make me happy. I value my success, my career, my identity as an individual highly. I also value my ability to love and be loved, to have my freedom, to hopefully spread happiness to other people. Life is an incredible journey and we are never sure of where we are on that journey. We have feelings and experiences that we try to digest. We try to gain meaning from the things that happen in our lives. Mindfulness is the challenge I have been given. To be mindful of what is happening in my life now, today, what I am doing for myself today. Having a mental illness makes that difficult but I do try. Despite the days where I feel helpless, I have days where I feel empowered. It is knowing there will be a day where I will be satisfied with my choices in life that keeps me trying to make my life a success...in whatever capacity will make me happy.
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Do you know the times when you want to say something, but can't? Or the times when you are sad and need someone to give you a hug? The times your worst enemy hugs your boyfriend? Or the times you are so angry you punch a locker and have to pay to get it repaired? Well with writing my thoughts, passions, anger triggers, enemies, love, hatred, even happiness out for people. Makes me feel like someone can relate to me and I can impact them in any simple or complex way they deem fit. I write because I can and I become free with every word written from my mind, every letter and messed up grammar I have accidentally committed to butchering every time I write. I may not make a difference, heck, I may not even have a lot of people who read but those who do read when I write about how I thought up a story plot or something for my best friend, they will always make me feel like I'm making the difference because someone actually read what I thought at a certain time and day and maybe even listened. That's what makes me feel wanted and happy like I can do something other than run my stubborn mouth and have a mother hen personality. That is what will continue as I write. fortunately, the thing is no one can take it away either, and that my readers are what makes the mind a great thing.

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