Dreaming
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  • Reads 9
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  • Parts 1
  • Time <5 mins
Ongoing, First published Jan 18, 2017
I'm Pamela, I'm kinda weird in a way when I was a kid, I still am as a teenager. My grandmother made me this way, she taught me how to become a bloodlust killer.. “your problems will be gone when you kill. ”

She always tells me that...she died because she was murdered by my father. I took revenge and killed him,
my mother takes care of my now..I keep having this issues where I can't becomes stable with myself and I start to  stab myself with a sharpened Stick. I love the pain, I can't feel anything..I met someone in my dreams named “Freddy Kruger” he makes me have the...oh what's the word?....the “Goosebumps”

I have no ides what to Expect...
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Loneliness. Depression. Broken. Scared. Devastated. Hopeless. Mournful. Disheartening. Bleak. Joyless. Somber. I have no one. Depression and Loneliness are the only things I feel. My family tries to make me happy, but I just put on a fake smile and cry about it in my room. They act like everything is alright, but everything is not. They KNOW I was devastated about Mom's murder. They KNOW I was heartbroken about Dad's sickness that eventually killed him. That's all I've thought about. Devastation and heartbroken. Just because of those two things. Never in my life I have been this devastating. Dayton, Hayden, Angel, or Monica know how to make me truly happy. Not even my own siblings know how to make me show a real smile. Suicide is all I can think about day to day and I've almost died because of that. DEPRESSION IS A REAL THING. NO ONE KNOWS HOW I FEEL EVERYDAY. NO ONE CAN JUDGE OTHERS ABOUT DEPRESSION OR EVEN MAKE JOKES ABOUT IT BECAUSE ITS A REAL THING. DEPRESSION HAS KILLED PEOPLE. EVERYONE IN MY LIFE JUDGES ME JUST BECAUSE I DON'T SMILE, LAUGH, HUG, OR DO ANYTHING NORMAL PEOPLE DO. I CUT MYSELF, I CRY, I YELL, I VENT, I PUSH PEOPLE OUT OF MY LIFE. Those are the things people are worried about me. "Go kill yourself and join your parents in hell." They say and I just shrug it off and find a private place to hide and cry it out. "I CAN'T DEAL WITH LIFE ANYMORE!!!!" I say and I use my sharp nails and cut myself then cry some more. A gun is buried within my arm for defense from my dad, but I use it in case I am tired of society. Then that's when I met the Host Club. They saw my sadness and made me a part of it to repay my debt for accidentally breaking a vase. I am now a Host for men to flatter them, but how can normal guys want me to be a Host when I wear lip earrings, eyeliner, chains, and have a gun in my arm? I'm the definition of Hell. Then he made me smile again, something that I thought I would never get back. Happiness.
𝐹𝑖𝑓𝑡𝑦 𝑆ℎ𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑠 𝑂𝑓 𝐽𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑉𝑜𝑜𝑟ℎ𝑒𝑒𝑠 by michaelmyers_whore69
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"Stop fucking following me! If you're not going to kill me, then quit staring at me like I'm some kind of meal," I shouted, throwing on my clothes. I turned around just as he emerged from the water, his lean figure dripping wet. Even with his hideous appearance, there was something oddly mesmerizing about him-a twisted combination of monstrous and, dare I say, alluring. Fuck, I had serious issues..... ♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎ 𝑉𝑖𝑜𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑑𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑎 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑟 𝑎𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑚𝑝 𝑐𝑟𝑦𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑙 𝑙𝑎𝑘𝑒, 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑢𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑠 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑒𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑎 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑟 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑. 𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑙 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑗𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑣𝑜𝑜𝑟ℎ𝑒𝑒𝑠, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑒𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑎𝑠 𝑒𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑖𝑙𝑙 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑠 ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑒𝑙𝑠𝑒....ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑢𝑏𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ ℎ𝑒𝑟, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑏𝑒 𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑑...𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑔𝑢𝑦𝑠🤭🫣 𝔻𝕠𝕟𝕥 𝕒𝕤𝕜 𝕙𝕠𝕨 𝕚 𝕘𝕠𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕒 for this!:) 𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒂𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒋𝒂𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 7😩 𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈: ♥︎𝑮𝒐𝒓𝒆 ♥︎𝑴𝒖𝒓𝒅
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