Bean Me Up, Scotty

"Would you like some coffee with your sugar?"
"Sounds like something someone with a pH of 2 would say."
"Diabetic."
"Acidic base."
"That'll be $3.20."
***
Some people think your coffee order says a lot about you.

Andie Bishop takes her coffee with three pumps of syrup, a double shot of espresso and just enough milk to not burn her tongue: sweet, but strong.
Scott Tyler takes it black: no frills, no fuss. Straight-forward. A little bitter.

Looking at it like that, it makes a lot of sense. But Scott could use a little more sweetness in his life, and it wouldn't hurt Andie to do things the easy way sometimes.

Opposites attract alright, but sometimes the clash is too much. Can the bitter barista and the over-the-top undergrad make it work? Or are some things just... not meant to bean?

Puns, coffee, puns about coffee and belligerent sexual tension - what more could you want?

Caution: contents may be hot.

[highest rank: #63 in humor]