Bawdy and The Girl

I must be honest with you if you are here to stop by and read what I have to tell you. I know myself, I am not only bad but bawdy and annoying as hell.
Oh I don't think that we've met before?
My name is Dean Patterson.
Well the story I am willing to tell you is about a girl, for sure. She is cute, pretty, beautiful and very decent. I mean very very decent. But dude you have to believe me, she is beautiful. Seriously I am not exaggerating anything. I am crazy about her. Crazy, kind of "I may kill you if you take a second look at her boobs" crazy.
You see where I am getting to?
Yes you'll be dead by the end of the story.
End of.