jokes that make you lol
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Kidnapped By Pierce The Veil ⇒ (Vic Fuentes)
•TRIGGERING• first book I've ever made ugh, but if you read it, you'll understand. [under major editing] - 2015 // © thingsofthrones All rights reserved.Lengkap
The Perks of Having The Perv Boss
The more he gets closer, the deeper the kiss gets. My hands weren't able to move, they are just on the side of my body. He slowly pulled out of the kiss and starts to trail kisses on my cheeks and down to my neck. "Stop. Get away from me." I said in a weak and soft tone of voice. I felt his lips form into a smile and said, "I can't. You're just too darn irresistible." After he said those words, I felt his lips get back on mine as he started giving me the passionate kiss that we shared just a moment ago. I slowly felt his hands travelled towards my waist, when I felt his hand going up and towards to my sensitive part of my body, my eyes slowly opened. In my surprise, I felt his hand touching my breast. I didn't know that I still have some power left in me that I pushed him away and immediately connected my fists towards his face. -- Juliet, a popular yet not so rich high school student who is on her senior year, has been experiencing a lot of problems lately and she insist on keeping it to herself because she doesn't want anyone to be troubled with her problem. She has been working so hard to be able to get her problems done with, but what will she do if she happens to encounter an obnoxious, hot and perverted college brat who happens to be her boss? Will he help her get through her problems? or will he be the one to add on her problems? Warning: The story contains mature content so it may not be suitable for young audiences. Read at your own risk. ;)Lengkap
LAUGH FUCKING ASS OUT
* MATURE CONTENT WARNING* If your already reading this then your in the right place. Now stop wasting your time here and start reading for a fun ride of laughs! Coughs! & hiccups!Lengkap
An Everlasting Problem (Phun And Noh AU Fan Fiction)
This is a boy x boy fan fiction. Don't like gay love then move on. This isn't the story for you. There will be cursing in this story. If you don't like profanity please move on. Thank you. ============================ Cover by: JaeMi1 ============================ Have you ever met a vampire? No? Ah, lucky you. Vampires are a pain in the ass. Trust me I've met a couple. Thanks to that stupid ass Ohm I was stalked, forced to co-habitat, and pushed into some weird confusing battle going on for a stupid title. Pain in the asses! The biggest issue was the feelings stirring inside me. They're weird and icky. No matter what I do I can't stop them. And they get worse whenever that jerk, Phun, is near me. My heart constricts and my brain gets weird. Can't I just go back to my peaceful life, please? Excerpt: I shuffled my feet, staring down at them, growing far more uncomfortable than I ever wanted to be. I heard a deep chuckle roll from him. My eyes shot up to meet his. I had to swallow down my agitation as his eyes twinkled with amusement. Can you believe it? The bastard found my reactions funny! My face crumbled into a sneer. I slammed my hands on the arms of my chair and pushed myself up. I glared at the bastard, trying my best to make my face as ruthless as I could. The infuriating man chuckled again, his smirk blooming into a full smile. I had to force down whatever feelings was bubbling up. He had an amazing smile. Heart racing and knee melting type of amazing. =============================== This is an AU fan fiction. I do not own the characters portrayed in this story, I merely asked them to dance to a different beat. The characters are created and owned by INDRYTIMES ( twitter: @hedshew) Show her love for these wonderful characters and her amazing story. ===============================Lengkap
Cliché, Touché and Douche
{Completed - #12 highest} I was walking on a path all alone at midnight. I was just wondering around, until I saw a guy in a hoodie. He was beating the pulp out of another guy and one more man was on the ground, he was not moving. I gasped. 'Is he dead?' Or he can be unconscious, yeah 'el' he is just unconscious not dead. Duh! Who would kill a guy? As I was proceeding with my thoughts, that hoodie guy turned his face towards me. My heart had a mini heart attack. I turned my heels to the opposite direction and started to run. 'Run Ella, run for your life' was what my mind was screaming to me. I took turns without thinking, that guy was now following me and guess what? I took a wrong turn and which ended up being a dead end ' You are so dead' I thought. So, I started to think what I said last time to the people I love. 'Good night mom, love you.' to my mom, 'Stop annoying me! I'm going to bed.' to dad which also mean I love you, 'See you later Lu, love you!' to Luana. Okay my good bye says I love them all. Now I can die in peace. Granddad I'll meet you soon in the heaven, if you are there. I was still in my deep thoughts until I saw his silhouette. As, he get closer, my heart begin to race faster. I closed my eyes, until I heard him say "Ella?" O to the M to the G, this person actually knows me. I opened my one eye and saw him due to the small light hanging in that ally "Errrrr'ick!" I squeaked and mentally face palmed myself. Even at this state I'm calling him Errr'ick. "I'm sorry your highness, what can I do for you?" I squeaked again while trembling. The next second I heard his fits of laughter. He was rolling on the floor, actually rofling. I was glaring at him but I realised that I'm not in a position to glare. So, I made puppy dog face for him to spare my little life. He stopped but after seeing my face, he started to laugh again. He tried to say between his guffaws "You..... your face .....was epiccc!" He started to gasp for air and had tears in his eyes.Lengkap
Revenge Of The Fat Wallflower|✓
(Editing) His eyes widen and his lips part in pain as he stares wordlessly at me and then at the large blotch that forms around his chest . He clutches it as he coughs in pain. I didn't get to push him into a sewer, but this feels so much better. I sardonically chuckle to myself before leaning in to whisper into his ear. "Gotcha." - - - I was a nobody . A big fat wallflower that was always in the background. The only mistake I made was confessing to the school's prince. That day I was completely and utterly humiliated. It's been two years and now I'm back. Back for some sweet revenge. #Winner of the Pre-Watty awards for best laugh worthy book. *Filled with humor and jokes that can't stop you from chuckling ;) # 1 ranking in Stop bullying (10/5/18) #11 In Humor (1/6/18) ©Nikithasuz123 Cover credits to unreadymage. Amazing cover XDLengkap
take a joke
this book is made to give you a laugh inside and out. on a bad day sad day happy day even a busy or boring day... if this makes you feel better or laugh comment if you want hah I dont really mind if you dont.. take your mind off life and read if your a book worm :p c: I really love it when people laugh or are happy because that vibe goes to everyone around them relax, get comfortable, and read as yoyr heart desiresLengkap
Violet's Delight
"Well then. That's the first time a girl has ever rejected my close proximity," he said, eyes ablaze with a playful fire. "You better get used to it," I retorted as I spun on my heel and headed for the school doors that led to the outside. "I've never met anyone like you before," he called after me, this time, not coming after me. "I know, Romeo. I'm a special little snowflake," I called back, not turning around. "You got the 'little' part right there, Princess!" he shouted after me. I threw up my middle finger back to him and heard him laugh as I exited out the doors rather dramatically. ... I'm tired of all those high school stories about a straight-A girl student with the perfect life who falls for the stereotypical Mr. Bad Boy who wears leather black jackets and only has a soft spot for her. That's not how the real world works, sweetheart. I may look like a damsel, but I'm never in distress. ... Not me making fun of the "she's not like every other girl" trope <3 o.o :)) I like to think I'm funny. After all: #3 in amusement 10/22/22 #1 in banter 10/31/22 #3 in friendship 11/7/22Lengkap
Texting.
"I met the love of my life today. I met fans today. He smiled at me. They were sweet. We took a picture. I took a lot of pictures. I hugged him. So many of them were hugging me. I told him he was my world. Some of them said nice things. I wanted to be different. She was acting different. I introduced myself. She told me her name but I can't remember. He's my world. She's a fan. I love him. I love my fans." WARNING THIS MAY HAVE TRIGGERS, MAINLY ON THE SUBJECT OF ANOREXIA AND DEPRESSION AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THIS WILL BE A TRIGGER TO YOU OR IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THE SUBJECTS.Lengkap
I Checked Out the Badboy's Boxers
"Not the typical cliche teen fiction" "You're hooked from the get go. Pretty much similar to when you can't stop eating till the last slice of pizza, or have the eagerness to pee, but can't because you're scared that if you stop reading you'll miss the intensity each word brings." "There isn't even a word good enough to describe this book. I'm speechless." - "Please Lexa?" Elle looks at me, "Just fill in my spot for ten minutes." At that moment I was calm, what could go wrong with running a checkout isle for ten minutes? As it turns out, everything. -- "Why are you checking me out?" His voice questions. Even his voice is the sexiest thing I've ever heard. Not to mention the broad shoulder, killer jawlined boy it came from. "I wasn't, I swear!" My cheeks blush ferociously. How the hell did he notice? In fact I'd always thought I was pretty stealthy. He just chuckles and looks at me, a rambling mess, "Yes you are." "Okay, alright, you know what-" I pause trying to pick up the pieces of my shattered dignity from the floor, "Maybe you shouldn't come in here like a fracking ambercrombie model and then on top of that blame a poor little innocent girl for looking-" "I meant those. You're checking me out." He gestures to the items laying across the counter and the scanner in my hand. Oh shit. Let me just repeat that for a moment now. Oh shit. -- Started: 12/27/15 Ended: 10/24/18 February 2019: #1 HUMOR -- Warning: I cannot guarantee you will walk away from this book unaffectedLengkap
The Boyfriend Games {Complete | Book One}
"You signed me up for what?" I shrieked at her. My best friend, who had volunteered me to test a new game that she wanted to make videos out of. A game that took ten girls and ten guys and forced them to become a couple. But the guys had to go around and choose who they wanted to try and date, to court and try to swoon. A twisted form of the bachelor or the bachelorette. A way of trying to force love. And she had written my name down without my permission. "It's called The Boyfriend Games," she giggled. "We're gonna find you some love." •~• I gasped looking up at the sincerity in his eyes. "I mean it. The other girls not only dolled their looks up, but they all put on a phony façade. The personality and laughter I see from them is all fake. But you... you only show what's real, no matter how different your appearance is. You're still the same Thera that you were before this started." Chewing on my lip I looked up at him and took a deep breath before my reply. "I really have to pee." •~• Started: Jan. 2015 Finished: July 2015Lengkap
I DON'T KNOW
This is my blog. Containing all rants, thoughts, and opinions about this crazy Mofo we call earth. All of these may or may not target certain things, but are not MEANT to offend any readers. As it is used purely for humor and comedy, so if any of you decide to go to the comments and whine about it I will just laugh at your stupidity. So as a last note before you delve into the hilarious (and strange) thoughts and experiences of well, Me, Most things in these words are mine. And feel free to use them whenever you like. ~CLengkap
A DYSPRAXIA LOVE STORY
Completed, but under editing and rewriting. Situation and diction may change, but not the storyline or character. *** "W-when d-did t-they b-build a w-w all on t-the h-hallway?" I asked no one in particular. I rubbed my head with my eyes shut to ease the pain that shot through my head. The sound of laughter made me freeze with my hand on my head. I opened my eyes, slowly. Three handsome boys were staring at me. No, two of the boys were trying to stifle a smile while one of the boys was staring blankly at me. Rude much? It seemed he was the one I hit and not a wall. Thanks Mary for stating the obvious. I stared at his chest probably because he was taller than I am and I had to look up to meet his face. His abs were visible through the blue shirt he wore. Staring at abs in this situation. Oh God! I'm weird. "First you get to be called a wall, interesting. And now, she is checking you out. It isn't fair. Why do you always get the beautiful ones?" One of the boys groaned. I blushed. I was checking a guy out. Wait, What? Did I just blush? Kill me! "I- I m seery, I debt mean to hat you." What did I just say? This couldn't get any worse. The boys looked shocked even the mute handsome boy looked a little bit surprised. Why did I keep calling him handsome? "I-I'm s-sorry I h-hit you, I d-didn't mean to," that sounded better. "Oh," one of the boys said. Oh! Indeed. I was expecting a reply, but the handsome boy in front of me refused to talk. Is he dumb or deaf? "I am Tom. And I am not dumb nor deaf," he said and walked away. I didn't say that aloud, did I? Guess I did. "You did, baby girl," one of the two boys said an. He waved at me dragging his smirking friend with him. That was embarrassing.Lengkap
A Whole 75 Pages of xD
XDLengkap
lol stuff
Trust me this book will make you lol feh real! (all details of this book is from online unless otherwise stated)Lengkap
Twisted
"I think I'm gay." I say, leaving out the part about my... exposing dream about him last night. I watched his expression, waiting for some sign that he was angry. I waited for him to call me a faggot, to curse me off and tell me he never wanted to see me again. Instead, I was greeted with his perfect toothy smile. "That's great man, I'm of proud you." He says, patting my arm as he stuffed another cracker in his mouth. "It takes some real balls to come out to someone." He says, his beautiful green eyes blazing into mine. I felt myself become flustered at his gaze. "Uh, Yeah, Thanks." I stumbled out, "You're not mad?" I ask. His expression turns to hurt as he crinkles his eyebrows. "Why the hell would I be mad?" He asks, hesitating on the crackers and pushing them away. "I just thought-it's just- well... you just always seem so pissed when someone mentions the word gay." I spit out words, scared for his reaction. He sighs, "That doesn't fucking mean I hate gays. Normally when I do that it's because someone's using the word 'gay' to hate on them, it just pisses me off, you know?" He asks, bringing the crackers back into his lap and biting into them. "Plus-" He adds on, "You're my best friend, if anything, you being gay is a blessing. I'll always support you." He says, glancing at me through the side of his eyes. I look away, towards the door to hide the crimson blush that I feel spread over my face. "Thanks." I all but squeak out. And that's the day I realized, I have a faint crush on my best friend. <><><><><< THIS BOOK IS BEING *MAJORLY* EDITED. THERES LOTS OF SPELLING MISTAKES AND NAME MIX UPS, SOME CHAPTERS WILL BE REWRITTEN Also, Please don't be mean to the characters, they aren't even close to perfect, but they don't deserve hate.Lengkap
It's me
A book all about me and my family, how I feel, things that happened, announcements, appreciation posts and so on! Feel free to read the book and leave a like and comment
My little joke book
I give credit to the people that make these up If any one gets offended by any jokes I'm very sorry Please read, vote, comment and follow. Also please don't give hate, it hurts!! No one asked you to read this book. By the way some are a bit short but there are some longer ones. Cover made by @iamcrazynotinsaneLengkap
Victim of Love
"Hey, Dan?" "Yes, Mark?" "Did you know that I'm lacking a vitamin?" "Really? Shouldn't we get that checked? Also, which one?" "I'm lacking Vitamin U." "And here I thought it was something serious." "It is serious! I need to recharge, so come into my loving arms!" "I'd rather go into the loving arms of a cannibalistic grizzly bear." "You wound me, Danny." "And I hope it kills you." "Seriously, kid, you're really mean. Why can't you just accept my love?" "Why can't you just accept that I hate you?" Mark chuckles and ruffles my hair. "You're just too cute, Danny." I roll my eyes, biting back a smile. Mark isn't actually a half-bad person. Maybe I should be nicer... "I love how small you are! Just like a tiny little baby!" He exclaims, grinning and pinches my cheeks. Okay, I take that back.Lengkap
A Teenagers life
I'm terrible at descriptions but just give my book a try i promise you won't regret it. I'm pretty funny ik if you really are funny you shouldn't have to say that but y'all might not even read the book so you might not be able to look in to my unique humor. Please read it I'm begging you please I got a chocolate addiction to feed hear people please read this bookLengkap
•TRIGGERING• first book I've ever made ugh, but if you read it, you'll understand. [under major editing] - 2015 // © thingsofthrones All rights reserved.
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