Maybe someday

She smiles but her inner is like the desert. No sign of rain, her heart cracked like a dehydrated ground. Bruised beyond, she got more bruises before the previous ones could heal. Internally damaged, no doctor can fix it. She lives but if you look closely she is lifeless like a huge mass held by a thin string. As I look at her all I can see is pain, failure, questions, confusion and loss of hope. I should have, I would have but it does not help anymore cause the damage has been done. Why this, why that she questions herself. She met a guy long back and the guy sucked her like a bubblegum milkshake. It was as if she was compelled or some wizard spell. The guy was prince first few months but later become a monster. The reason why she stayed in this dark castle, she did not know. Late on she also become a "monsteress". The compulsion died off and she freed herself but still the damage was already done. The monsteress moves around aimlessly looking for someone to remove this monster in her, but no hope. She relieves her pain by cutting herself with a razor blade, but still the pain is not even close to the pain she feels inside. She drinks herself to death, overdose of any drug she can find and 3 attempted suicides. She puts on a costume every day and people get fooled into thinking she fine. She smiles yet her heart screams out for help, calling out 911. I call her Jenny Doe because she does not have an identity, she can just be anyone any day. She struggles in her mind and lies to herself everyday but the lies are become less private now because what is consuming her inside is manifesting externally.
Maybe someday you could view things the way I view things. I believe your past is not a prerequisite for your present and future. It's your choice how today, now and your future turns out.May someday you could walk towards HIM who knows it all,GOD.