Consumed

*Trigger Warning* Suicide, cutting, depression, abuse, self harm, death etc. ~I didn't know happiness as well as I know sorrow ❤️ Stay strong ❤️

"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboard

Sequel to Wet Paint Dear Jacky, Why would you do it? You left us without a clue. You refused to believe there was more to your life. You let your demons win. Why?

The leaving. It was hard, tragic , painful, yet it had to be done, I needed to save my life. I didn't want to start again, this would be the story of finding myself, pulling myself back together, reuniting the happy go lucky youngster I had once been. The shock of leaving took more of a toll on me than I thought it would. I had asked two people to help me move out of the house I had shared with my partner for 8 years, we had been together 23 years in total. The move was done in total secrecy, my partner could never know in advance, it was a very scary time. I had moved various things out of the house and secured a rent on a property nearby. The house I picked was near the School the children went to, and my oldest lad was going to be near his best friend. My Mother told me of the property it was advertised on the web, we both went and had a look, even that was scary, I didn't want to be seen by anyone and became paranoid that I would be caught out. For many months I lived on a new kind of fear, the fear of someone finding out that I planned to leave my abusive partner, though of course no one knew my seemingly happy, funny, generous partner was abusive. Finding the house was one thing, getting the various companies to connect the house and exchanging the information of my current address so they could varify that I was, who I said I was almost drove me mad. The day came to leave, My Mother and a very dear Friend came round as early as possible, we packed as much as we could. This included taking the boys clothes, bedding, toys, stuff from the garden, my stuff. We had 3 cars the packing seem to take all day. By the end we had to get going to be able to unpack, leaving me time to pick up the boys from School and settle them in their new home. I couldn't do it at first,I started to cry then scream, to leave the world I had put so much of my life into, and now in a split second would be leaving was breaking my heart.

poetry🌸 || COMPLETED ||

~WATTY'S 2019~ ~NOTICE~ AS OF 2/3/19, THIS COLLECTION HAS TOO MANY PARTS! READ VOLUME 2, THRIVE, OUT TODAY! On the pain, love, and passion that makes me human. Potential swearing, mentions of suicide, self harm, depression, rape, etc.

"It's getting harder each day, so much harder. It drains me to have to constantly put up a mask, hiding how I really feel behind a smile that isn't even true. I don't think I'll ever find that easy, because it's not. The easy part for me is lying, it always has been. Telling them I'm fine always works. But the hardest thing... the hardest thing is realising that no one hears my pleads, my cries and my screams... leaving me to fix my broken mind." ~~ Cooper Bryan is a young boy living with his mother in California, he lost his brother and father when he was 7 and now, his mother is moving on, she's getting remarried. From bullying, to awful step brothers, to having monsters in his head, Cooper fears he won't make it through his teenage years... but he's surviving... and he's doing it damn well too. This... this is his story, with many ups and a million downs, this... this is Cooper Bryan's troubled life. ~~ DISCLAIMER: I do not own any photos/Videos or songs used in this Wattpad story. They were either found on google or YouTube

About a girls life how everything changed for the worse.

𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 ♡

Summary: This story is about an incredible unique autistic girl and her two equally incredible best friends. Will they ever get out of the friend zone? A little taste of the story: Is it a sin to love someone too much? To say I miss her is an understatement. I can't eat. Can't sleep. Can't function. She is constantly on my mind as she dwelled herself deep inside my heart. My heart aches for her. Every time I think of her, I smile but my heart hurts like hell because she lives far away. Too far. Sometimes all I can do is lie in bed and hope to fall asleep before I fall apart. Is it wrong to love someone this deeply at such an early age? I have inappropriate thoughts about her...about us. Not, as we are presently but grown up as adults. I'm jealous of my twin brother because he wants to take her from me. I can't let go of what's making me sad because its also the only thing that makes me happy. Her. I cannot lose her, because if I do, I will lose my best friend, my smile, my heart, my soul mate, my everything. If it is a sin, I don't think I want to be forgiven because I truly believe that God has sent her into my life to give me something to fight for, to show me there is love in this world, to give me hope and to bring me joy. All the proof I need in God is in her. She is a gift from heaven." ⚠️WARNING ⚠️ * language *drugs & alcohol * violence *assault & rape *nudity & sex