he didn't WANT to be the Edward in the books. he didn't WANT to be the coward that he was portrayed as In the words he had read... but as he gazed into Bella's eyes he saw something he never wanted to see again... he saw pain.
He'd hurt her. he was a monster... no matter how much he'd tried to change the future for her... he was still the same person... still soulless... still a vampire.
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it's hard to shock a vampire. that's a given, right? especially if it's a mind reading vampire with a future telling one as a sister... and yet Edward Cullen was shocked. his entire life was laid out before him in the form of four books. all his mistakes, his experiences, his blinding self hatred. all of it, written by someone he's never even met.
someone he's never met... He was in love with someone he'd never met. in love. with HIS Bella. and that's what shocked him.
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i'm not very good with writing these kinda things. But read the book and it'll make sense!
thank you. xx