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- Votes 10
- Parts 23
Ongoing2h 9m
Last published Sat, Mar 15, 2014
How could no one tell? How can I be breaking inside and no one notices? I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to wake up every morning knowing that any minute I could break down. I don't want to go to sleep thinking about how stupid and pointless the world is. How does no one see around my fake smile? I'm drowning in my own thoughts and no one gives a damn. Because I don't matter. I float around the world until I die. That is how life works. You are born, you live you die. There is nothing special about me. I'm not going to change the world. I'm not going to save a life. I might as well not even be here. I mean what am I supposed to do? I disappoint my parents every time I do anything. My friends look at me with such pity I know that they just don't drop me because they feel bad for me. My brother is getting sick of me and i just don't know what to do. That is until he came. He showed me what it is like to really live. To breath free for once. To be happy. To be found.
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how does it feel to be just a 18 year old girl to get married and be called someone's wife..... i thought of ending my life on my wedding day...... it feels so unreal but it is real....My mom and dad made me get married at a very early age.... i thought I would live my life....... i never knew my life could change after this arrange marriage which turns out to be love....... how can he be there for me everytime......why do I get this wired feeling which seems something nice and safe......my mind, my body, my soul is now all his. i gave myself to him....... i feel sad for him, he is so pretty, cute, handsome and breath taking, because he has to marry someone who should not be married..... I'm so ugly, fat and a waste girl...... i sometimes wonder how did he say yes to me...... I'm so scared, with what he's gonna say on the wedding night....... he must be scared of such a ugly human like me...... when ever he comes i always keep my gaze down ........... his mom and dad are so caring and his sister is such a good sister-in-law........... sometimes i just wanna touch his face and hair....... but I'm afraid that I'll destroy it......... he doesn't deserve to be with a girl like me.......... I'm still in college......... all late night i sit and cry to myself....... what is my life now..mm what am I gonna do now...... i want my independence....... nothing more........... is asking this much...... is it too much..........GOD................
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