RificAms
Dear Diary,
I cannot... I must not... entertain these feelings for her - my teacher. Such affection is neither proper nor permitted, and yet it steals into my heart like the evening fog, impossible to grasp and harder still to banish. Her voice lingers in my thoughts, her presence warms the air about me... and I am left in a quiet torment, torn between devotion and duty. If only my heart could be as disciplined as my mind.
Every glance, every word, every faint motion of her hand is a spark that threatens to ignite a fire I dare not feed. I catch myself imagining her smile lingering just for me, though reason insists it could not. My mind scolds, my conscience rattles, yet my pulse betrays me, fluttering wildly at the memory of her passing glance. How cruel, how exquisite, that someone so unattainable could occupy every corner of my awareness, leaving me both enchanted and undone.
I fear the hours I spend under her gaze, for they are hours in which I am wholly myself and wholly lost at once, caught between admiration and longing, caught between who I am and who I might never be. And still... I cannot help it. I cannot stop noticing.
- Me.