Darkhumor Stories

Welcome to planet Talvaris, your generic isekai world filled with magic, dragons, and voluptuous female elves who look like they escaped from an illustrators search history. Everything here is as beautiful as the goddess Celes envision it, if you just ignore the slavery and racism on the corner. Unfortunately, maintaining this picturesque fantasy realm costs divine power. Luckily for the goddess, divine power can be charged by the Talvarians' prayer. And nothing beats the high-quality prayer of a Talvarian during the act of killing or being killed. That's why the occasional demon invasions are needed, oh and the OP otherworlder hero is also needed to tone down the invasion. Nobody wants the sweet Talvarians to get wiped out, right? But this time the celestial HR department makes a mistake. Alex Solomon is not a teenager, not handsome, and definitely not a Japanese. He is just a regular pot belly millennials who spend most of his time looking at the screen every day, just like the one who reading this now. Totally doesn't meet the goddess's standards. Hence, the beautiful but angry goddess cursed Alex Solomon to become an orc and banish him to the Demon Kingdom with nothing but a ability to access Earth internet. Stuck among demons, Alex Solomon decide if the goddess wants him to be a monster, he'll be the worst kind possible - a monster with ideas. Armed with memes, wikipedia articles, and misquoted great thinker, he and the demon army set out on a quest for revenge by doing the most disruptive thing that have been proven on earth: Building world peace, freedom, and democracy across Talvaris. One Tomahawk missile at a time. New Chapters every Tuesday & Friday For 30 chapters ahead, you can check at RR For 40 chapters ahead, you can check and support my patreon at patreon.com/Bimbanana

The war storms at the Frontier... The gods are broken. The empire is burning. And the end has already begun. A warrior with no past unleashes power no mortal should wield. A young ruler clings to a dying crown as his people lose faith. A chaos mage, feared and revered, walks with death in her shadow. Amongst their ranks-two Rifter siblings, wilders of ruin, benders of space and time. Feared. Watched. Leashed by the most powerful. But even under chains, love blooms... and loyalty begins to shift. When the empress falls into a cursed slumber-her unborn child the last ember of prophecy- the empire sends its strongest into the Abyss of Lost Quintessence: A place where even time forgets itself, where silence hungers, and where One of the Roots of the Umbrovyn Tree stands-ancient, cracked, and bleeding memory. Monstrosities roam, daring to strike in daylight. The veils whisper betrayal. Alliances splinter. Some stand frozen, unsure of their next move- fearing one wrong step may provoke the wrath of a dominion vast as a world and cruel as the gods who forged it. Old gods stir, craving redemption through ruin. The Royal House fractures beneath betrayal. A founding father, long patient, now bares their intent- to seize the throne by force, by cunning, by wagering all that is. Their House's malice toward the flawed Royal line can no longer be cloaked. Love will test loyalty. Legends will bleed. And in the dying light of Ether-Space- The Aurora must not fall... Or all realities will burn. 🔥

Ethan Mercer is the perfect employee. He follows procedures. He trusts the system. He signs where he's told. And that's exactly why he's dangerous.

This story is the Continuation of Abomination I; Phel9195. I highly suggest you read it first before jumping on this one. Thank you

what if Erma had a big brother? who is completely useless and nothing but a coward well at least that what he tells people who ask about him, truth be told he is just very anxious. y/n is a what if Erma had a big brother, he is nothing more than a big scaredy cat, a fool, not important at all and a very bad at being a big bother. Yep, he is all those things no need to look any further than what I have told you yep, he is totally all those things ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... right?

In a fictional world where the Reich has taken over most of Europe, this story focuses on a different kind of unit-one that stands out like a needle in the rigid order and rules of the Reich. Their methods, their attitude, and the way they operate make them both a living target and a legend. They could dangle from a helicopter, break every rule in the book, and somehow still finish the mission in a way no one could have expected. That is the story of **Unit 404 - The Dark Angels.** Discover their most infamous missions, the chaos they leave behind, and how this strange unit manages to survive-and somehow make things interesting-in a world built on strict order.

*ART STYLE IS CURRENTLY BEING REVAMPED. A NEW COVER WILL HOPEFULLY COME SOME TIME THIS YEAR* After centuries of being stuck in a cross and a fucking rock, a group of unsuspecting explorers set Halo and Hellfire free. Turns out, those explorers were just "mortal" objects who were apparently trapped in a forest after an accident. After adjusting themselves to the new setting, Halo and Hellfire come up with one final solution to settle an endless debate of which side is better: Heaven or Hell. Their idea WAS...a competition. At first, it would seem random and basically a waste of time for most of other objects. That is until they realize that the winning team would have the chance to either become angels or demons! Which team will end up on top? Which team will utterly fail miserably? And which team will get more character development than everyone else combined? LET'S FUCKING FIND OUT! DISCLAIMERS!: - Swearing (As if you couldn't tell) - Probably shitty comedy - Dark themes (Not really but maybe) - Potentially suggestive stuff (If you can tell, good for you I guess...) - Most likely a lot of other stuff that wouldn't fit in this list Everything is made by me. The characters, drawings, and the ability to outright ruin the lives of these poor things for entertainment. Yeah, it's all me.

bl story | soon

#shortys2026 Ahalya has been married to the rishi Gautama for years and could only get so much from a man of a disciplined life, and the one who finds her exactly as interesting as grass, for longer than she's willing to count. So when a rooster crows too early one morning, and her husband comes back from the river taller, beardless and smelling of rain, she knows exactly who it is. And she has until the river warms up. What follows is a curse: a very long sit in a forest with a goat with no manners, a crow with opinions, a god with a thousand eyes and a very short apology, and a boy who does the one thing nobody in three worlds thought to try. With a pinch of myth and lots of sense of humour and sarcasm Word Count - 4954

She was never meant to be part of his war. Piper Samantha thought surviving Fyodor Volkov-her supposed to be step-father-was the hardest thing she would ever have to do. Then she discovered he was her biological father-and that her blood could be used to forge an alliance with the Camorra. Now she is being forced into a marriage that could destroy Aleksandr Morozov's empire. But Aleksandr has already crossed borders for her once. And this time, he's coming for her. Because in their world, love isn't supposed to exist. Especially when she's promised to another man. -------- Started writing: September 24, 2026 Finished writing: September 27, 2026

(new chapter every Monday!) New mission. Same chaos. Worse dress code. It's been exactly three days since Tony-a perfectly ordinary, slightly awkward high school guy-accidentally unlocked a power system fueled by raw, unhinged human emotion. When he transforms, he doesn't just put on a costume; he undergoes a complete biological shift into Pink, a petite, hyper-protective, hammer-wielding magical girl who happens to be his own louder, sassier subconscious. In less than seventy-two hours, Tony and his squad of beautifully traumatized teammates have shattered localized physics, leveled a neighborhood diner, and accidentally rewritten the multiversal rulebook. Naturally, the corporate overlords took notice. Slammed face-first into the interdimensional hub of The Sparkle Syndicate, Team 7-A is about to face their most terrifying threat yet: a mandatory corporate onboarding. The Syndicate treats saving the universe like a competitive 9-to-5 desk job, tracks emotional magic on a standardized spreadsheet, and issues corporate life insurance in case a teammate goes missing on a mission. Even worse? Because Tony's raw, boundless power completely breaks their clinical scanning metrics, the Syndicate's computers registered him as having zero baseline magic. And according to strict corporate protocol, the Syndicate always thrusts the absolute weakest, most useless lightweight into the leadership role to force them to grow. Now, a teenage boy who biologically transforms into a magical girl...who also happens to look like she could headline a glittery pop concert... is the official corporate-appointed CEO of a squad of absolute freaks. The Syndicate thinks they can manage them, balance their stats, and force them to clock in. They have absolutely no idea what they just signed up for.

Whatever your company's problem, the Lucid Group has a solution. Modern. Efficient. Tailored to your needs. And, of course, perfectly legal. Nora Wagner would never have given the company a second thought if one of her articles hadn't been pulled without explanation. So she starts asking questions. A little digging never hurt anyone. Right?

A young girl. 19. Probably from the worst place. Mafia games, people starving on the street, dying even, she is forced into the Mafia World including her twin brother. Have friends outside of course but but they still have the same dark story. Being Assassin's. kill. She goes by the name Evelyn. Evelyn Moon it's her full name. With a twin brother Nicholas moon. The mother Charlotte Moon married a man name of Mikhail. A Russian guy who is a very big mafia boss. now with the new step father with two more step siblings, How can it get Stressful? Love life apparently. Somehow loved those sprinkled it in the air. in hell like this. and more hell yet to come. can she stop all this?

- Japan's Environment Ministry Conservation Corps vs. Otherworldly Humanity First Empire - It was a well-known and widely acknowledged fact that Japan's Ministry of the Environment was tasked with defending Japan's natural environment, protecting wildlife, and preserving biodiversity, and that, to possess the minimum necessary force to accomplish these objectives, it maintained the Environmental Conservation Corps, which had been established through the progressive dissolution and reorganization of the former Self-Defense Forces. Using a Shangri-La-class high-output power vessel obtained as spoils of war from the former United States of America, they had finally opened a door to another world. It was a world of imperialism, where the strong ruled over others-and in one corner of that world, there was a species that was being oppressed and was now on the verge of extinction. Its name, Simia altavita (common name: elves). "The extinction of a precious species means that they will all die. That is something we absolutely must prevent," commented Japan's Minister of the Environment, and a decision was made to deploy the ECC to protect these tallmonkeys. RELEASE: 2020 (INCOMPLETE)

In a world of magic and dragons, humanity's greatest hope is the Summoned Heroes. The Church of the Goddess, the only institution capable of performing the summoning ritual, did what any reasonable institution would do. They made a catalogue. Why rely on fate when you can have a price list? Different tiers. Different classes. Different budgets. From premium, battle-tested champions, to "affordable" options for struggling kingdoms. Because even the poor deserve their own personal hero. Unfortunately, one such "budget-conscious" kingdom got... Theo. A professional séance scammer. A necromancer who couldn't control the dead. A defective product. So, they did the logical thing: They threw him away. What no one knows is, he can summon the dead, even though his system only allows him to summon souls from Earth. From Archimedes to Nikola Tesla, Julius Caesar to George S. Patton, Leonardo da Vinci to... Steve Jobs? Men who shaped civilizations, now answering to a scammer. A kingdom forged from Earth's greatest minds to devour other kingdoms in Civara... and perhaps even the Goddess herself. There is just one problem. Right next door lies the Demon Kingdom, And it has been waiting to devour Civara, long before Theo ever arrived. --- New Chapter: Tue, Thurs, Sat

Pierce only wanted a roll of tape from the corner store, but a troublesome woman and a creature of the night follow him home through the snow. Short story, 4700 words.

Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Fantasy, Isekai, Magic, Sci-Fi, Shounen, Supernatural Synopsis: An ordinary man in his 20s died trying to save someone, only to end up dead. When he woke up, he found that he had become a girl, a character from the Light Novel he was familiar with. Disclaimer: I do not own the game/story of Honkai: Star Rail and A Certain Magical Index. All credits to the original owners, HoyoVerse and Kamachi Kazuma I also do not own the pictures and illustrations that I will be using in the story. All credits go to the original Artist.

Angelica Taylor has spent years studying the aftermath of violence. As a forensic scientist and New York City's top ballistics specialist, Angie has built her career on reconstructing the crimes others leave behind. She knows weapons. She knows trajectories. She knows exactly what kind of damage one man can do. She knows Frank Castle. To most of New York, he is a monster. A vigilante. A criminal hiding behind the name The Punisher. To Angie, he is a contradiction-a man who breaks every law while somehow protecting the people the system failed. When a string of murders begins mimicking Frank Castle's signature methods, Angie becomes the only person capable of proving the killings aren't his. But uncovering the truth puts her directly in the crosshairs of someone determined to destroy Frank by becoming him. Forced into an uneasy partnership with the man whose crime scenes she has spent years analyzing, Angie discovers there is more to Frank Castle than the headlines ever revealed. And Frank discovers something he thought he lost forever. Someone worth coming home to. Female OC x The Punisher

Love is a battlefield. Literally. To the rest of the world, Alice is the flawless, smiling idol of her high school. To herself, she's a burnt-out teenager desperately wishing for the end of the world just so she can skip class. She gets her wish when the sky tears open, unleashing an alien horde upon the city. Enter the Magical Girls of War-unstoppable warriors wielding cosmic power. Yet, behind the frills, ribbons, and massive weapons lies a darker truth: their magic is fueled by the rawest, most volatile human defects. Chief among them is a terrifyingly hyper-protective pink warrior driven by a dangerous, unhinged obsession to keep Alice safe at all costs... even if Alice has absolutely no idea who they are. Amidst explosions, flying debris, and broken hearts, a war of toxic emotions has begun. I am also now publishing this story on royal road!!