Darkhumor Stories

What happens when revenge starts to feel too much like devotion? Rithvay married Ahilya Rathore to ruin her. The infamous villainess who walked through life untouched, leaving disasters behind her like perfume in the air. He wanted consequences. He wanted her on her knees beneath the weight of everything she escaped. Instead, he finds something far worse. A woman as broken as he is. A marriage soaked in hatred. And a connection neither of them can survive untouched. Because monsters understand monsters better than anyone else.

Takes place after Doom Eternal: The Ancient Gods Part 2 and Season 2 of Hazbin Hotel. After terminating Davoth, the creator of his dimension, the Doom Slayer's sarcophagus is transported to an alternate Hell due to the fabric of existence flaying in the wake of the dark lord's death. Here he finds a group of misfit demons (and some angels) that reside in an absurd and ridiculous version of the infernal pits. Can the Doom Slayer's patience last in this whimsical underworld?

Across the last two centuries I've seen multiple rulers. Three mad kings, a handful of tyrants, and a litany of Dukes and Barons whose primary Education seemed to be in being an asshole. Now a succession crisis, the heir is to young to reign and his uncle is appointed regent, all would be well if the king hadn't had a bastard that has created an uprising turning into rebellion. another issue the crown has sought to gift me, along with a new handler far enough from the crown to be disposable, the third princess Aurelia. a young girl that seems to be made mostly of frayed nerves over the entire thing, perfect for front line duty, undoubtedly has offended the regent somehow. My primary concern however is the drought this year seems to have soured the grapes and the monastery produced vinegar and called it wine.

"Poop Day" is the story of an unusual school tradition, supposedly practiced for the sake of providing an educational experience. As the reader of this satirical horror story for the younger generations, you will be left pondering "what would you do" in the same situation. And wondering how "educational" such an experience could possibly be...

{FINISHED} Lance Rivers has spent years using the dead to hunt the truth behind his family's murder. When a summoned ghost points him toward a powerful warlord hiding beneath an abandoned cathedral, Lance descends into the catacombs armed with bitter humor, old magic, and a need for vengeance colder than the grave. But the dead beneath St. Ignatius are restless. And some forms of justice should never be awakened.

The Summary: To the criminal underworld of Washington D.C., the Della Leone empire is a ruthless, self-made powerhouse ruled by an iron fist. And at the center of that power is Aurelia Della Leone-a world-class secret sniper, the founder of the elite International Women's Intelligence (IWI) network, and a total force of absolute, unhinged chaos. Her six powerful brothers don't try to stop her; they know better. Instead, they act as her ultimate protective net, letting her tear through rival syndicates while they back her up from the shadows. When she isn't systematically dismantling international trafficking rings or dodging her severe phobia of routine hospital visits, Aurelia passes the time by testing her brothers' sanity-mostly by mocking powerful dons and stealing the Don of D.C.'s breakfast right off his plate. But beneath the designer YSL heels and brilliant comedic timing lies a dark family trauma. A decade ago, their mother betrayed the family and left a scar that Aurelia has kept secret ever since to protect her family's empire. When a high-stakes friction with the rival Vitale syndicate in Chicago sparks a dangerous chain reaction, the Della Leone family's zero-tolerance policy for betrayal is put to the test. With a crucial alliance forming with the powerful Northern Alliance-and a certain dangerous Russian alpha named Zayden Volkovich watching her every move-Aurelia's D.C. playground is about to go global. A unique, fast-paced blend of high-octane action, deep family loyalty, and laugh-out-loud dark comedy

She was hired to care for a child. She ended up rewriting the rules. Annastasia didn't sign up for this. She thought being a live-in nanny would mean bedtime stories, spilled juice, scattered toys, and maybe a few tantrums. Instead, she's stuck in a mansion with Vincent Aldridge- a man who makes silence feel like a threat and rules sound like warnings. There's a diary used for the most unexpected way- surveillance. There's a daughter who barely speaks. And there's something seriously wrong with this house. But Anastasia's got jokes, survival instincts, and a knack for pretending everything's fine. She just needs to keep her head down, follow the rules, and avoid asking questions. Because in this house, secrets aren't just dangerous- they're written down. A Note from the Author Welcome, This story isn't your typical Nanny romance story, and it's not even close. If you're looking for a "Nanny-falls-in-love-with-the-Grumpy-Dad" story, you're in the wrong house. There is no sunshine here. There is no "happily ever after" for these people. This is a story of retribution, not romance. If you're looking for a heart-throb, you might find one-but he's probably a monster. Don't say I didn't warn you. This story is a study of two things: the people we pretend to be, and the secrets we leave in the margins of a diary. If you are looking for a hero, you won't find one here. You will find Anastasia, and she is busy observing you. Watch the details. In this house, even a misplaced sentence can be a weapon. Make sure to notice even the smallest details, because Anastasia surely does. Farewell, and hope you enjoy! Content Warnings This is a psychological thriller. To ensure a safe reading experience, please note that the following themes are present: •Psychological Manipulation & Gaslighting •Vivid Depictions of Domestic Abuse & Neglect (Minimal but auditory) •Toxic Family Dynamics •Cynical & Unreliable Narrator •Emotional Decay

Camilo lives the life of a madman. Everybody knows him. Everybody knows he has blood on his hands. Everybody knows he went crazy, haunted by ghosts of his past and the spirits of the desert. But in a world where even the Gods have died and left nothing but blood and pain, his insanity keeps him alive in a way that is more than just survival. And when he was presented with a way to get to a place where he would be safe, what else could he do but take a job he knew would be dangerous? Even if it means endangering and manipulating a child he just met, lying to the people he had grown into calling his family and having to confront his brother, whom he had tried to run away from, for so long.

CHAOTIC US A Recession Comedy London was supposed to be the dream. For Nick and Jerry, it was-until the economy decided to crash... again. One minute they're suited-up professionals faking confidence in glass offices, the next they're counting coins, dodging layoffs, and trying to survive a city that doesn't care. Nick believes in strategy, control, and staying one step ahead. Jerry believes in vibes, shortcuts, and ignoring problems until they explode. And explode they do. A deepfake scandal. A viral disaster. A collapsing career. And a friendship slowly pushed to its limit. In a world where nothing feels stable-jobs, money, even identity-Nick and Jerry must figure out one thing: Are they smart enough to survive... or just lucky enough to delay the fall? Told in a raw, witty English style-this story blends sharp humor, chaos, and reality in a way that feels a little too real. Welcome to CHAOTIC US. Where the market crashes, reputations burn, friendships are tested... and chaos is the only constant. New chapter every day.

Have you ever wanted to read a poem about fashion and coffee? What about dark fashion? This collection of poems is about fashion, dark comedy, and coffee tales. It's about showing up to work late and your boss being up to something. This collection will have you dancing, wondering, and left surprised with all poems connecting in a big fashion story. These poems will have you making a latte or a tea and will give you a shock and make you laugh. A dark tale these poems are with fun big shops. And there's coffee and cake to wake!

Everyone's addicted to coffee. It's the one thing keeping us from losing our minds in traffic, at work, in line behind the person who can't decide between oat milk or almond milk. I'm Jessica Perez. My family literally built their empire on the stuff. And up until recently, I thought the worst thing our coffee could do was keep you up at night. I was wrong. Something is in the beans. Something that turns your average, overcaffeinated, mildly-irritable person into something... feral. Bloodshot eyes. Popping veins. Zero impulse control. And a really strong urge to kill everyone around them. It started with my brother. Then a truck driver. Then a 'Karen'. Then a rooftop full of people in Miami. Now it's everywhere. Why? And how do I stop it?

A shard of a cosmic sin-entity wakes up at 34% loaded in an embarrassing dungeon. The loading bar does not care. ASSET FRIGS-7 - fragment of the entity known as Frigsday, Child of Sin - has been digitized into the ESE Matrix: a reality-production engine that quantifies attention, manufactures suffering for engagement, and sends waves of Royal Road protagonist archetypes at her until something interesting happens. Julian Slink, Executive Producer, gives her one season to prove she's worth keeping. The dungeon has straw on the floor. The straw is not metaphorical. "I am a fragment of something that predated the concept of waiting - and here I was, watching a progress bar exist at me." The machine wants her optimized. It wants her softened. It wants her waifuified, mascotified, redemption-arc'd into something that monetizes cleanly. Frigsday has other plans - specifically, she wants out before the original version of her walks into whatever this machine is a prototype of, without knowing it's coming. To do that, she has to be more entertaining than she is dangerous. More dangerous than she is entertaining. Survive waves of sigma grindset cultivators, edgelord necromancers, philosophical beach philosophers, and one suspiciously kind man at the top of the leaderboard. Collect nine McGuffins the machine calls Narrative Control Devices. Make a wish. And whatever you do - don't stop reading. "If engagement drops below threshold I get deleted. Not metaphorically. Slink has made this very clear. So. Be. Entertained." Frigsday knows you're there. She's known since the loading screen. This is a relationship now. A deeply codependent one built on your attention and her continued existence. She finds this mortifying. She's doing it anyway. Contains: strong language, adult themes, existential horror dressed as comedy, and a narrator who will directly blame you if she dies. Reader discretion advised. Slink considers this a feature.

This story will be continuing from where the first story left off! I hope you guys enjoy this story as much as the first one! As usual, updates may be random! Summary after the first 8 chapters: Eight months have passed since the battle of Chicken Island, but something else is now amiss in Xuanwu, alerting Seven to possible danger to Chicken Island. He sets off without anyone's knowledge, determined to protect everyone by himself. Little does he know, someone in Xuanwu is already expecting him. And they aren't friendly.

Annie Sawchuk works for the family business started by her grandmother, Olga. With supernatural abilities, she hunts vampires and werewolves (for a reasonable fee). She's falling in love with Edward Blue, who disposes of the night creatures she kills (a disgusting but essential job), and is yearning to grow beyond her childhood home, where she still lives as a twenty-something. An impeccably dressed and fiendishly handsome vampire, Vesper van Goethe, comes into her life claiming to be her grandmother's old love. Family history, secrets, love, and tragedy come to light and as Easter approaches, Annie learns of a unprecedented gathering of vampires and their monstrous sanguisuga kin. With the help of new friends, her grandmother and her mother, there is a chance to go on the largest hunt ever. It's sure to be a bloodbath. Annie can't wait.

Ken struggles with suicidal thoughts. His parents monitor his every waking moment with constant and careful concern. Ken's thoughts are far from ordinary, so it doesn't come as a surprise that his dark urges relating to his obsession with his own death can only be quelled by extraordinary means.

In a world gone mad with bloodlust, can a girl with a fragmented past use her inner monster to save the last human from undying predators? Earth, post-Apocalypse. Prisma longs to understand herself. Two centuries after humanity died, the claustrophobic immortal is grateful she's not driven by the thirst for blood plaguing every other enslaved survivor. But when a boy arrives at her den with a cryptic message about her origins, she fears his existence has made them both a deadly target. As Prisma's violently protective alter-ego gives her remarkable abilities, she and her clueless companion trace a mysterious entity through their decaying city and its virtual twin. But she's horrified to stumble on a vicious conspiracy that sends her split personality into dangerous denial just as a psychotic assassin and a desperate bounty hunter close in for the kill. Can she unearth the secret that will renew their stricken planet's hope? A Spectre in the Stream is the edge-of-your-seat first book in The Slip Saga science fiction fantasy series. If you like gritty characters, violent action, and dark-edged humor, then you'll love Simon Tull's fast-paced adventure. For a free prequel novella to The Slip Saga, visit https://simontull.com

Lex was a basement dwelling, caffeine fueled, MMO junkie with zero real world accomplishments and a level 80 necromancer he was weirdly proud of. One unlucky night, Lex dies, chokes on a chicken nugget while arguing in chat. Lame as hell. Instead of the afterlife he expected, he wakes up as a ghost, tethered to the city he lived in. But something's off. He's now part of the Haunting System, a bizarre LitRPG framework that tracks his XP from tormenting the living, learning ghost powers, and scaring up mischief. His best friend Miles is now stuck dealing with Portland's magical underbelly. Soul harvesting cults, hipster necromancers, vape shop warlocks, and a growing glitch in reality that's swallowing ghosts like corrupted save files. He might be dead, but the game isn't over. It's just getting weird and Lex isn't the only ghost on the leaderboard.

koro-sensei had affirmed his students that in life, as long as they keep following their morals...everything would be fine. it was not. [name] had always been sharp-edged, unyielding, wishing for destruction...and as she grew in a world that did not destroy itself quickly but slowly, she learned too well how to endure and keep moving no matter the cost. because somewhere along the way, a boy who was unable to fully graduate becomes the center of an unraveling future. to stop the bloodstained path he walks, she throws herself into dangers without hesitation, treating her own well-being as collateral in a larger equation. and when a specific sadist makes a reckless decision, she is forced into a final gamble that fractures time itself. a second chance as koro-sensei's student in the assassination classroom. and this time, she will stop at nothing to make sure everyone is saved...including koro-sensei. ...all while keeping distance...from a red-headed menace who is borderline obsessed with her. ▬ ( karma x reader ) ▬ status; coming soon

25-year-old Grace Avery is a stunning woman working as a detective/investigator. Due to her looks, she often gets sexist remarks from her colleagues, seen only as an object of praise and beauty rather than a fellow detective. Annoyed and frustrated, she goes to an old friend for help and assistance, asking for a partner who doesn't care about her looks and has the brains to work with her, to which she learns that there is a person who could help her, the problem lays in the fact that, that person is the very same man who Grace knew and hated in high school, Basil M. House. Will Grace continue to hate his guts? Is Basil the same man whom Grace knew in High school? And will their relationship change? This is a reimagining of Sherlock Holmes stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Besides being a reimagining, it's also a composite of different mystery stories and movies that I loved, so don't be surprised if some of the cases or puzzles look familiar. Apologies for the grammar mistakes:( Really enjoyed writing this:) This story is also on royal road

In a world where everything is a power play, every life a pawn, and every movement observed, what will happen when two of them clash? Ritika Singhania, the Queen to whom his demons bow. She was never the person you'd go to for emotional support or advice. Because for her they didn't exist. Trauma? Choice? Betrayal? Deceit? Nobody knew what caused it. But what everyone did know was that she was the only person who'd kill you for one wrong breath. Veer Choudhary, the Devil who can kill and be killed for her. He was ruthless, feared, and calculated. But he prioritized his family and Kingdom over anything else. He stopped believing in love. WHY? No one asked that. Sparks fly, but not the warm ones, the ones which can set the world on fire. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------