lindamilesbooks
by Dr. Linda Miles
How Mindfulness Helped Me Through Serious Illness
Even though I'd been practicing mindfulness for many years prior to my illness, its power became especially clear to me 15 years ago, when I was struck with a virulent strain of pneumonia. As I waited for yet another daily chest x-ray during my seventh day in the hospital, I knew I was dying. My husband is a doctor, and although he couldn't bring himself to tell me the prognosis, I could read the signs. I felt my consciousness fading as my body began shutting down. I also overheard a conversation among the medical professionals working on me about my kidney failure, lack of oxygen, and the alarming blood work results they had just received.
Although my body was crashing, I felt a sense of inner peace and gratitude for my life. Fortunately, I was only 51 years old and had maintained good health prior to this point. It was a long struggle, but I eventually recovered. Despite the medical crisis, I maintained a mental state of inner peace and calmness during most of my illness. Using a practice of mindfulness, I was able to accept the seriousness of my illness while finding the strength to overcome it.
My practice of mindfulness prepared me to accept what was real in the present moment and refrain from comparing myself to those who were healthy and productive. I learned that when I compared myself to people who I had set up as the "ideal," I rejected myself. I believe that my practice helped save my life because I avoided situational anxiety and instead was able to concentrate on healing. While I was able to accept my state with calmness, do not confuse acceptance with giving up. It is often the opposite. My acceptance of my infirmity saved my energy so I could meet my situation head-on. As John Kabat-Zinn writes, "You can't stop the waves but you can learn to surf."