safiaaa6
Dec 16th,2018
It's 11:00 on a school night & I been feeling this sick thing inside my stomach for days now. Idk what it is & im not sure I want to know what it is. For the past weeks I been curving for his love & attention. I thought we got passed all this bs ' but ig I was wrong. How are u going to show up in my life ' just to disappear again ? How can u live w/ urself knowing that I would do anything for u ' but yet u treat me like I'm just another one of ur girls ??? Honestly ' at this point in my life , I HATE HIM!!! Idc if I'm being selfish or if I'm being too harsh on him. I hate him for everything he put me thru ' everything he keeps putting me thru. How are u going to tell me that I'm the love of ur life & that u can't imagine living w/o me ' but yet have me guessing my spot in ur life? Having me question if I'm good enough or not ? If maybe I was a little skinner , a little lighter , had a fatter ass or maybe straight hair than I would be getting all ur attention & love. Or maybe if I was a bit cuter like ur ex's . I'm honestly sick & tired of fighting my way thru ur life to show u my worth. I'm tired of u hitting me up whenever u miss me. I'm tired of all ur dumb excuses & explanations. I'm sick & tired of all of it. I had enough but yet every time my phone lights up ' I'm wishing it was u. Wishing u would remember me thru out ur day. But who am I kidding ? I'm the last person to come across ur mind ' let alone even pop up on ur mind the whole day. I honestly can't wait to lose ALLLLL my feelings for u ' so I can show u how it feels to be treated like shiit & to be treated like u aren't enough & never will be. Until than I'm just going to pretend like it doesn't hurt ' even thou I'm dying on the inside . Imma just try to forget bout u but unlike the other time imma really forget bout u alll the way thru .
~ to the best yet worst regret in my life