Passive Stories

"You always did the same thing.. Followed the same rules.. Stay quiet. Look forward. Don't make eye contact. Stand up tall. If you don't acknowledge anyone, then they won't yell at you. Don't let them know your paranoid. But that didn't work.. did it? Theirs a murderer in town. First they acused the librarian. And you panicked. They noticed. They think it's you, Nightmare. And their comming after you next." Nightmare had no choice. After being acused of murder, he was forced to leave town. Having to leave his younger brother, Dream, in the hands of the sheriff. Running into a life of hiding. But hiding from reality, comes with a side of crime. And as dream grows up to become the head of the police department, They meet once more. But dream thinks his brother is dead. So he doesn't see Nightmare anymore. He sees a criminal. And when Nightmare losses everything. He realizes theirs no point in trying to fix things. That he has nothing left to loose. As he encounters gangs, the mafia, the law, and horrors beyond compare, the dynamight ignites with the introduction of familar monsters. And as the fuse slowly burns, theirs only one thing left for his story. The flame goes down, and we watch as his world become engulfed in flames with one. big. BOOM. ( art is not mine!! this story will contain death, gore, and other sensitive information. reader discretion is advised )

What do you do when a critique points out that you have way too many sentences starting with pronouns? How about those dreaded filter verbs? Or the passive voice? One solution is to go through each instance and play around with names, or rewriting the filter and passive verbs. The other solution, which will take your writing to an whole new level is to look at your Point of View and focus on getting tighter and digging deeper.

Just wrote something to keep myself sane....

ᴶᵁˢᵀ ᴿᴬᴺᴰᴼᴹ ᵀᴴᴵᴺᴳˢ ᴵ ᴸᴵᴷᴱ ᵀᴼ ᵂᴿᴵᵀᴱ

I wasn't born rich. I didn't have connections. I just wanted more-for myself, my family, my future. Then I found something called the Daily Income Blueprint. It sounded crazy at first-earning money just by recommending useful products online? With no tech skills? No selling to friends? But I tried it. And everything changed. This isn't a story about overnight success. It's about learning a skill that pays-affiliate marketing-and using just my phone to build the life I want. If you've ever felt stuck... curious... or ready for a real change, this is for you.

For the past several days, a small war has been waged. The territory? A dirty dish in the sink. A passive-aggressive domestic dispute goes on and on. (this story was posted for school!)