sophiereads5
Recently, my thoughts, my stress levels, my anxiety, my sadness, and my losing battle against depression have gotten worse. I guess they haven't gotten worse, I've just started to notice how bad things are. I've noticed how fake my smiles have been. How I've been struggling not to cry even when there is nothing to cry about. Scratch that, there is too much to cry about. So much, that my mind has gone haywire and I can't control my emotions anymore. I snap at my friends, I ignore people trying to help, I can't control the nasty tone of my voice, I've become super clingy, I deny the fact that I need help, and even worse, I can't feel a lot of happiness...at least, not as much as I used to. So, I decided to take this on all by my self. It's my problem, now I need to fix it. I've tried singing...that didn't get far until I got reminded why I don't sing, I've tried being a total nerd...God knows I'm not nearly as smart as one has to be for that, I've tried painting...that helped, but only temporarily. Lastly, I've come to writing. This has helped me so much in so many ways. Now, without further ado, here is what I have written in the high point of my depression.