Sarcastic Stories

○°●°☆•°~ She turned around after cursing her life out and froze. If a soul ever left a body without dying, it was in that moment that happened for Zara. For a moment she forgot how to breathe and her eyes widened in shock. There, sitting in her living room, were seven unfamiliar people. Three of them sat on her couch, two on the chairs from her kitchen, one was sitting on the floor while one was sitting on the only recliner she owned. They were all staring at her with different emotions and Zara felt her blood run cold. -_-_-_-_- Zara Romano, a fifteen year old sarcastic ball of intelligence, is thrown into a whole different world after discovering she has brothers and a father. The young teen whose main struggles were to get through school and pay rent on time is now faced with situations she never anticipated. From a big family to people after her life, you name it. Follow her on this journey of guns, family, sibling fights, coding and baking. And oh, don't forget her hedgehog, Nugget.

Highest rank - #1 in humor 28/9/2017 [Book 1] Imagine this ~ You think that you are sleeping in your comfortable bed, next to your three-year-old brother, but then you open your eyes to see three good-looking guys staring at you. The worst part is that you are in a moving car, laying on their laps. ××××× Ariel O'Connor is a sassy, sarcastic, funny, caring, and confident 19-year-old. What will happen when she wakes up in the wrong place in an unusual situation? What will she do? Here's a tip: Watch your language, and do not eat her Oreos. #Book 2: You Are In Hell Boys #Book 3: We'll End up in Hell Boys ××××× DO NOT STEAL ANYTHING FROM THIS BOOK! All Rights Reserved 2017

"For fucks sake! What did you do?" A very angry voice asks me. Holy shit! That is definitely Dimitri. I can recognize that accent anywhere after our discussion in class today. "Holy shit. I'm so sorry. I thought you were a burglar or a rapist following me," I try to apologize. "Shut the fuck up!" He yells, making me flinch. It quickly shut my mouth up though. I didn't like being talked to like that, but then again, I just sprayed him in the eyes with a fuckin' pepper-spray. _____ Ruby Derman has to attend college 7 hours away from her home and her dad. She quickly falls into place, but a young, angry guy catches her eye in class. However, she quickly finds out it keep away, as she sees how he treats people. He is arrogant and sinister, but she can't ignore the feeling she gets every time they're near each other. What will happen when two completely opposite people find out, that they're actually not that different from each other? Keep reading to find out.

This is an English translation of my own fiction novel: Mari Kita Bully Demi Kebaikan. What happens when a single stare can change a person? Joko Wiryawan, an elementary school teacher famous for his death stare, has never laid a hand on a student. But one look from him... and a kid instantly feels guilty for the sins of their entire bloodline. From that stare came the "Social Stare Movement" - a silent act that made rule-breakers crumble under their own shame. But once the movement went viral and the government hijacked it, everything fell apart. Honest people started dying. Elementary kids took revenge with kitchen knives. And those who only wanted to look "morally perfect" ended up killing the very idea of goodness itself. A funny, bitter, and painfully honest story about morality, social media, and the danger of trying to be the most righteous person on the internet. Because sometimes... the one that needs saving the most isn't the world - but yourself.

"Let's get married," he said. For a moment, I thought he was joking-but the look in his eyes told me otherwise. It's not that I don't have feelings for him-because I do, feelings stronger than anything I've known-but I don't know how to handle this attraction. "Let's not rush things. We've only known each other a short time. Let's just go with the flow and see where it takes us, okay?" I said nervously. I knew how he could react when it came to matters involving me-and I didn't want to experience that storm again. "You know I'm a very ambitious man. I've always been determined to achieve what I dream of... and you, my watermelon, are my dream. I'll give everything to make you mine and mine alone. Even you can't stop me from that," he said, staring straight into my eyes. Well... I'm fucked, I thought to myself. Raine Anaya Evans The word optimist describes her perfectly. A girl stepping into university life, craving the freedom she's longed for, exploring new experiences, and discovering new emotions every day. But love? Falling for someone? She's not ready for that yet. The strong, independent girl everyone knows hides a secret: she's insecure when it comes to matters of the heart. Phoenix Aron Ruene Aristocratically charming suits him best. A man who's been heartbroken but still gives his all to the people he loves-his family, especially his sister, is everything to him. When Phoenix meets Raine while planning his sister's wedding, there's an instant connection between them-one neither can deny . this is my first story and English is not my first language so please forgive the errors.The plot is from my deepest imagination. please don't copy it then I'll just have to hunt you down.(hehe) happy reading. (The first few chapters are a bit short but it gets better I promise, give my book a try)

Veronica "Vee" Romano isn't the type of girl anyone writes love songs about. She smokes behind the bleachers, cuts class when she's bored, and has a comeback for everything. She's been a Pink Lady since before it meant anything - Rizzo's right hand, tougher than she looks, quieter than she lets on. Then summer ends, and Danny Zuko shows up acting like the king of Rydell. He's slick, loud, and impossible to ignore - and unfortunately, Vee already knows him better than most. They've had history, the kind that doesn't get talked about in the cafeteria. While everyone's watching Danny chase Sandy, Vee's the one who sees through him - the one who doesn't buy the act. But the more he tries to change for someone else, the more he starts finding his way back to her. She's not his fantasy. She's his reality.

Apa jadinya kalau tatapan tajam bisa bikin orang berubah? Joko Wiryawan, guru SD yang terkenal dengan "tatapan maut"-nya, nggak pernah mukul murid. Tapi sekali dia menatap... murid bisa langsung merasa berdosa tiga generasi ke belakang. Dari tatapan itu, lahir gerakan "Tatapan Sosial" - aksi diam yang bikin pelanggar aturan malu sendiri. Tapi saat gerakan itu viral dan diambil alih pemerintah, segalanya jadi kacau. Orang jujur dibunuh. Anak SD balas dendam pakai pisau dapur. Dan orang-orang yang cuma mau terlihat baik, malah membunuh kebaikan itu sendiri. Sebuah kisah lucu, getir, dan reflektif tentang moral, media sosial, dan bahaya jadi manusia paling benar di internet. > Karena terkadang... yang paling perlu diselamatkan bukan dunia, tapi diri sendiri dulu.

"Never love anybody, who treats you ordinary." ~Oscar Wilde ~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~• "You are who, if I may ask?" "Y/N." "No last name?" "I rather not share." "Oh, aren't you a firery one." "You have no idea." Y/N is the daughter of Queen Daenerys Targaryen, the Mother of all Dragons. She has been homeschooled for her whole life, that is until her mother decides to send Y/N, her only child, to Auradon. To protect her. •~•~• "Why are you sending me to Auradon?" "I just think, it'll be a better place, for education. Then here, at the castle." •~•~• She doesn't know if she'll fit in, due to the fact of who her mother is, who is between Good and Evil. And, because of who she is. Y/N tries to fit in, and all hope is lost, until she meets a certain pirate. •~•~• "Your a pirate?" "Indeed, I am love." "My mother would either hate you, or love you." "What's that suppose to mean?" ~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~• Started: 8-7-17 Finish: Copyright: ©smutty_trash WARNING: To those who don't read smut, there will be a few chapters, I hope, in this book that will have smut. Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, only ones that I might make up.

Mairead "Mair" Callahan and Austin Post were supposed to make it. They fell in love in high school-messy, reckless, and all-consuming. She was his steady, his safe place. He was her wild, the dreamer who made her believe in things she never dared to before. They survived distance-Mair leaving for college, Austin moving to LA to chase his music dreams. Through late-night calls, long stretches apart, and the growing weight of his fame, they held on. Until they couldn't. When Mair moved to Utah to be with him, she thought they were finally building their forever. Instead, she found herself isolated, drowning in the shadows of his success. And then she found out he cheated. Heartbroken, she left-fast, without a second thought, absolutely shattered. Looking back would have destroyed her. Then she found out she was pregnant. Now, their lives are forever tied together, but Mair refuses to let Austin too close. She keeps him at arm's length, determined to protect herself from more heartbreak. But Austin has never been one to give up easily, especially not on her. This is a story about love lost and found, about mistakes, forgiveness, and the messy in-between. Because some love stories don't end, they just take the long way home. *MATURE THEMES & TOPICS*

𝓦𝓱𝓸 𝓲𝓼 𝓛𝓪𝓭𝔂 𝓒𝓵𝓪𝓻𝓮? Clare Pagen, or shall I say Lady Clare, is the eldest daughter of the Duke and Duchess. Clare is to have an arranged marriage with the monarch, Prince Calim, and expected to move to a new country. How can she be in line for the throne when she can barely get herself out of bed! Clare isn't that type of woman- she'd rather make her life actually useful, read books, than to ever be in a love story- or be controlled by a man. Knowing no one would really care, she finds an escape plan. Clare decides to shove her favorite books in her satchel rather than her status and finally escapes from the world of ballrooms and proper etiquette. On her path to nowhere, Clare gets startled by a man in the woods. Honestly? He was just riding a horse looking for apples. Couldn't've done much harm. Flynn Arakot, a confusing Irish-British man who likes horses, apples, and apparently also insulting her shoes. By the time Flynn shows her his home- things didn't go exactly right, you can say his reaction to her being noble is self explanatory. Forced to live in close proximity, two worlds clash together. One where curtsying was completely necessary, and the other throwing acorns at random people was for fun. As Flynn would say, what on God's green earth is going to happen to them?

❝Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?❞ Just a couple conversations for shits and giggles between four idiotic beings on how to be sarcastic and other necessities. [Book 2 in the "How To" series] WARNING: CONTAINS A LOT OF SWEARS AND TALKS ABOUT MATURE CONTENT.

You're staring again," he murmured without looking up. "I'm not," I said, even though we both knew I was. He turned his head slightly, those blue eyes flicking toward me - calm, calculating, and just a little amused. "Then stop memorizing my face." "Maybe I'm just trying to figure you out." "Good luck," he said quietly. "I haven't even figured myself out yet." Naomi didn't mean to notice him - the quiet boy who spoke like every word cost him something, whose hands looked like they'd learned to hold both violence and tenderness in the same breath. But Samuel Kings had a gravity to him, the kind that pulled you in before you even realized you were falling. His twin, Samantha, was the opposite - sharp, poised, and frighteningly still. She didn't speak unless necessary, and when she did, it was like a scalpel - clean, precise, and leaving a mark. "Emotions are a weakness," she told Naomi once . "Then why do you look sad every time he smiles?" Naomi asked. Samantha's gaze lingered for a moment too long before she turned away. "Because I know how it ends." The Kings twins arrived like a storm no one saw coming. They were beautiful, strange, and impossible to ignore. And for Naomi - the scholarship girl just trying to survive another session - they changed everything. One moment she was laughing with her best friend under the sun, and the next she was standing in the rain, realizing her heart had started keeping time with his. You make everything complicated," she whispered. "You make everything matter," he replied. But beneath the quiet smiles and the charged glances, there were secrets - The kings weren't running from trouble; trouble followed them like a shadow. "You can't save me, Naomi." "Then I'll stay with you until you save yourself." "You shouldn't." "I already did." Because some people don't just change your story; they rewrite it entirely. He was ink, she was light. Together they left star shaped like constellations

I've survived explosions, interrogation rooms, and a knife fight in an elevator. But nothing - nothing - could've prepared me for him. Nathaniel "Nick" Mercer: athlete, golden boy, resident pain in my existence. Also apparently... my new partner. Yeah, the universe clearly has jokes. And I am definitely it's playtoy. By day, we're high school rivals who can't stand breathing the same air. By night, we're secret agents sent to keep the country from burning down. Oh, and we're supposed to "trust each other with our lives." Cute. He thinks I'm uptight. I think he's reckless. We're both right - and completely screwed. Because somewhere between gunfire, secret missions, and pretending not to care... I started to. And I swore I wouldn't.

Ninth in teen dialogue series ~ "Hello?" "S-Sarah, I m-missss you!" "Erm, Mister, Are you drunk?" "Yes, drunk on you babygirl." •••••••• It was just your next drunken mistake, but who knew that a drunk mistake on a mystery number can lead to so many known emotions? ~ Highest ranking- #19 in SS ~ *Cover made by me. If you want one, check out my other book.*

"I would scream but I have a headache from crying my eyes out in the bathroom. You have twenty seconds to explain why you broke into my house before I expose you to the wrath of my mother," I divulged, taking a seat at my dresser. "And trust me, she's scarier than any police out there." "You find a complete stranger you know is trained to take down men twice your size in your bed and that's the reaction you're going with?" he asked. My eyes met his through the mirror of the dresser. "Twelve seconds." • • • If Avyanna was asked to describe herself in two words, she'd laugh and say she only needed one; perfect. She was the perfect child with no bad records whatsoever until Ian followed her home from an illegal fighting ring, climbed in her window and insinuated himself into her life. Icing on the cake, he just so happened to be an actual criminal. Oh, and did she mention her dad was a cop? Needless to say, she was going to kill Olly for making her go to the fighting ring to begin with.

Hey mortals! Welcome to Heavenly HR, the comedy series where Archangel Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, and the eternally exhausted HR angel Seraphina try to keep Heaven's workplace from literally exploding.

[VERY SLOW UPDATES] He's the distraction she never planned for. Bianca Hanson has a plan. Get perfect grades, crush it in orchestra and track, and ignore every high school boy with a pulse until graduation. Especially the loud, irritating kind with floppy blond hair and a smug British accent. Enter Dylan Taylor. The new guy with a talent for chaos, an ego the size of Texas, and an uncanny ability to show up in every single one of Bianca's classes. Including Physics-where he's her lab partner. Of course. Bianca doesn't do distractions. Dylan doesn't do quiet. And neither of them are looking for anything... except maybe a reason to win whatever weird competition they've accidentally started. But between note copying, sarcastic texts, and a very public blown kiss during a soccer game, Bianca's carefully structured life is starting to unravel. Slowly. Infuriatingly. It's not a love story. Not yet.

Audry Blue is just trying to get through high school alive and breathing armed with her books and lots of coffee in hand. Her older sister Cameron doesn't understand Audry and her fictional worlds, insisting that a social life is everything. As if her life couldn't get more hectic with helping Cameron go head-to-head for the title of prom queen, Jace, the debonair high school quarterback, tries to get up the courage to ask Cameron to the dance by using Audry to get to know more about the high school princess. The only problem? They both hate his guts. Audry and Jace feel the same way about each other: they'd rather eat nails than be in the same room together. To get him out of her hair and her life forever, Audry reluctantly helps out Jace with the promise of never having to speak to each other again after prom, something Jace is equally satisfied with. But as the two become closer, things start changing between them. And not in the most ideal way. Is their company just business, or is it something more?

A gunshot causes an uproar in Adetutu Johnson's life. Tutu Johnson, a young scandalous nigerian celebrity who is admired by some but judged by most gets shot by an unknown causing panic in her life. She needed help, and it came with a high price of learning to deal with: Irewamiri Williams, the Co owner of RIC COMPANY'S; a company that deals with private investigations and dispatching bodyguards. Although, he's a wealthy and self assured man with a tough handsome look that can make a woman's pulse race, he was born for the field's work and take's pleasure in doing what he loves best. What Tutu doesn't need is what he thinks of her, what she needs is for him to guard her and his company to find the shooter but what happens when that doesn't seem enough anymore. Started- May 20, 2020. Finished- Cover credit- @olamijibanks.

Seventh in Teen Dialogue Series. •••••••• "Hello! Welcome to Relationship Helpline! How may I help you?" "With relationships, obviously." "Looks like someone just got dumped!" ~ Can you really fall in love with someone who is helping you solve your broken relationship? Think again because that's exactly what happened with Alec and Lexi. Read inside to find out their story.