Sarcastic Stories

Mairead "Mair" Callahan and Austin Post were supposed to make it. They fell in love in high school-messy, reckless, and all-consuming. She was his steady, his safe place. He was her wild, the dreamer who made her believe in things she never dared to before. They survived distance-Mair leaving for college, Austin moving to LA to chase his music dreams. Through late-night calls, long stretches apart, and the growing weight of his fame, they held on. Until they couldn't. When Mair moved to Utah to be with him, she thought they were finally building their forever. Instead, she found herself isolated, drowning in the shadows of his success. And then she found out he cheated. Heartbroken, she left-fast, without a second thought, absolutely shattered. Looking back would have destroyed her. Then she found out she was pregnant. Now, their lives are forever tied together, but Mair refuses to let Austin too close. She keeps him at arm's length, determined to protect herself from more heartbreak. But Austin has never been one to give up easily, especially not on her. This is a story about love lost and found, about mistakes, forgiveness, and the messy in-between. Because some love stories don't end, they just take the long way home. *MATURE THEMES & TOPICS*

"Iria Vale takes 'simple' cases... and somehow ends up in world-ending conspiracies. Deadpan, sarcastic, and annoyingly brilliant, she navigates absurd clients, incompetent villains, and a magical city where nothing makes sense-but somehow, she always solves the case. Crime has never been this ridiculous."

Alexandra van der Wansem - fashion icon 👠, certified menace 🚨, and the queen bee 🐝 of Macca-Villacrosse - just got absolutely obliterated by a car 🚗💥 (don't worry, the car's fine 💅). Now she's in a coma 🛌 looking expensive and unconscious 😴✨. But plot twist: her soul floats up to ✨Cloud Drama 9000✨, where she meets an ✨angel✨ with a clipboard and zero chill 😒📋. He pulls up her karma receipts 📈📉 and-yikes-homegirl's been AWFUL 😬 (like... "stole candy from a child and then body-shamed the mom" kind of awful). Her punishment? Reincarnation. As. A. Stray. Chihuahua. 🐶🧼🗑️ RIP the glam life. To return to her human body, Alexandra must complete good deeds ✅🤲 as a yappy, fluffy, attitude-packed rat dog 🐾. But then-plot twist #2-a hot, emotionally available, probably-sad-but-in-a-sexy-way man 🧔🔥 finds her and takes her home 🏡. Now Alexandra, trapped in a tiny dog body 🐕, catches feels 😩💘 and is 100% ready to risk it all to smash 💥. The man, obviously, is CLUELESS 😵‍💫. Will she earn enough karma to wake up? Or will she stay trapped in a dog's body... hopelessly in love and painfully horny? 😭💔🐕

Hidden in the mountains there is mine with great power. The jewels inside worth millions. A company has spent twenty years doing what needed to mine the dangerous condition. They even kidnapped and enslaved people. Silas has been prisoner for years and has gained the bosses trust. He is the right hand man, but deep down he feels guilty. So he starts sneaking people out, except he finally gotten caught. Surely he will be punished if he stays? If he escapes with the prisoners they will just kidnap more people. Maybe his new friends will be able to help stop that. Or will their effects make things worse? First draft, small romance enemies to lovers. Fantasy, adventure.

𝓦𝓱𝓸 𝓲𝓼 𝓛𝓪𝓭𝔂 𝓒𝓵𝓪𝓻𝓮? "in her defense, he was the problem..." Clarette Pagen, or shall I say Lady Clare, is the eldest daughter of the Duke and Duchess. Clare is to have an arranged marriage with the monarch, Prince Calim, and expected to move to a new country. How can she be in line for the throne when she can barely get herself out of bed! Clare isn't that type of woman- she'd rather make her life actually useful, read books, than to ever be in a love story- or be controlled by a man. Knowing no one would really care, she finds an escape plan. Clare decides to shove her favorite books in her satchel rather than her status and finally escapes from the world of ballrooms and proper etiquette. On her path to nowhere, Clare gets startled by a man in the woods. Honestly? He was just riding a horse looking for apples. Couldn't've done much harm. Flynn Arakot, a confusing Irish-British man who likes horses, apples, and apparently also insulting her shoes. By the time Flynn shows her his home- things didn't go exactly right, you can say his reaction to her being noble is self explanatory. Forced to live in close proximity, two worlds clash together. One where curtsying was completely necessary, and the other throwing acorns at random people was for fun. As Flynn would say, what on God's green earth is going to happen to them?

Aakanksha Williams, Beautiful, chirpy, sarcastic and optimistic...These four words are enough to describe her. She's a part time nurse at one of the most reputed hospitals in Manhattan, working under one of the best doctors in America and is also studying medical in uni as she aspires to become a successful doctor. Life was going at an even pace when suddenly she gets an unexpected offer... An offer that makes her meet the world famous billionaire Alexander Knight, He, who's the exact opposite of her, An epitome of seriousness and harshness. He's rude, highly pessimist when it comes to feelings and extremely emotionless... Feels pleasure breaking the hearts of multiple girls. But overall an extremely handsome, confident and an accomplished man. Yeah, the typical billionaire! Well that's what she has heard about him. But then a tradegy strikes. His condition is worse now and he's in need of saving, And what does everybody think? It's only her that can save him. So dive into the journey of Aakanksha and Alexander filled with a rollercoaster of feelings and a whirlwind of emotions. [Do give this story a chance, I swear it's not as shity as the description!!]

When 17 year old Taylor's life suddenly goes south she is forced to put on her big girl panties in order to balance the responsibilities of being a student, an older sister, a friend, and the best street fighter there ever was. Oh. And don't forget the part where She's trying to get her stalker aka 17 year old Xavier Jackson (Mr.badboy) far far away from her. Okay. So he's not really a stalker. But with him being secretly part of a gang he doesn't know that she knows about, she can't risk turning her world upside down just so that she could have a friend....or can she? (The intro may not be the best but it would make my day if you gave this story a chance!) *story contains swearing* (sorry not sorry :D)

Amira Kim Zillman has a feelings for Ace Caspian Cruz but Caspian reject her in the whole school.

She was fire wrapped in silence. He was color disguised as calm. It started with a lie. Two fake names. One shared secret. A train ride neither of them was supposed to be on. She was running from a life. He was hiding in plain sight. And neither planned to stay. But lies have a habit of turning into homes. And this one? It unlocked something real. By accident. Of course.

A bunch of letters , combined into words, combined into sentences , combined- yeah you get it. This book is filled with Puns , Jokes ,Roasts , Comebacks and Sarcastic Phrases to go on the top of your toast this morning. Use these everyday as well as your morning treat -toast- and you'll get a day filled with amusement. All jokes /roasts/ puns are not mine unless stated. All rights go to the respected owners , if you want to be credited please message me here on Wattpad or @The_Lab_01 on Instagram. *Some strong language and some MIGHT get triggered.*

--- 💥 The Accidental Husband A Romantic Comedy Full of Fire, Flaws, and Forced Vows He didn't even know he was getting married. She thought someone else was. Now? They're stuck in one hilariously messed-up marriage... and neither of them plans to lose. --- Aarav Kapoor has two rules: 1. Always be the fun, forgotten second son. 2. Never take life seriously. But those rules shatter the moment he wakes up married to a fiery stranger with sarcasm sharper than his razors. His wedding was supposed to be his older brother's. His life? Definitely not meant to be hijacked by a woman in red who makes breakfast into a battlefield. Kiara Malhotra has been through enough in life to know one thing: she doesn't need a man - especially not one who thinks flirting is a personality trait. But after being accidentally tied to this smirking, shirtless idiot, she decides if she's stuck in a marriage, she might as well make his life miserable. With style. What follows? 🪷 Breakfast wars 🔥 Prank battles 💋 Almost-kisses 👀 Shirtless distractions 🎤 Sass vs. Smirk ... and a chemistry neither of them planned. But when jealousy strikes, pasts resurface, and secrets unravel - this fake-start might just turn into something real. If only they'd stop flirting long enough to admit it. --- Enemies by accident. Lovers by chaos. They might just be each other's perfect mistake. ____________________ 7 in #rom-com 10/01/2026 8 in #Delhi. 09/08/25 11 in #sarcastic. 7/10/2025 9 in #Aarav. 14/10/2025 ___________

Kade and Estella are bitter rivals-on and off the rink. Neither willing to back down. But hate doesn't stand a chance when everything starts to shift. "You say you hate me, but do you?" he says, smirking. "Yes, I do," I growl through gritted teeth. "Even if I do this?" His hand moves-slow, deliberate-from the back of my thighs to between my legs. And he feels it too. That I'm wet for him. Two rivals. One game. A secret. A deal. Find out what happenes next!

Aren't ya'll tired of the same old sh*t ?! , [ wealthy , hot , billionaire...happy endings , and all that?!] well i am sure tired ... so here is a new story with a new theme : aww come on i won't ruin all the fun!... #1 in LUV #15 in sarcastic #7 in hot #5 in romance the story may be a bit boring at start but the details are essential , yeah?!... have fun ;]... HAPPY READING all rights reserved. - author

They say mafia leaders are bad, cruel, mean, and heartless. But us that really true? Can a mafia leader love? Can they have a weakness? Is it possible for them to have a heart? For this one he has a heart but doesn't show it. 《x ⚘ x ⚘ x ⚘ x ⚘ x》 Valentina Mendoza. She is a beautiful 18 year old girl. She is feisty, sarcastic, and won't take shit from anyone. Her father is a multi billionaire and never around. She lost her mother at the age of 10 in a car accident and still has the nightmares of that fatal night. She has some dark secrets that no one knows except her father and the nightmares still haunt her to this day. 《x ⚘ x ⚘ x ⚘ x ⚘ x》 Cassius Kalel Black. He is the #1 mafia. He is the most dangerous man alive. He is feared all around the world. He is known as a beast. They say he is heartless but they don't know his story. Cassius's father abused him and his mother and the scars still lie on his back. He is dark, dangerous, and most of all powerful. He is looking for his girl. The girl that will complete him. He is short tempered but doesn't talk much. He is "The" man. 《x ⚘ x ⚘ x ⚘ x ⚘ x》 What happens when Cassius takes a trip to Brisbane, Australia and he sees Valentina and knows that she is his princess? Will she accept him or reject him? Will it be true love or all one big mess? LET'S READ TO FIND OUT😘♤♤⚘

She was the night sky, They were the twinkling stars of the night sky. She was the poetess, They were her poems. She survived chaos that is how she grew, They thrived in chaos because chaos is all they knew. She fell in love with the full moon and dark fairytales. Her curiosity was piqued by the layers of the night. The pull of the dark always eluded her, like a wolf in love with the moon. She was NYX. With a sharp intellect and a heart from hell. They laughed as they spilled blood. They were made of darkness, anger and beauty. They were the Dell 'Olio brothers. They rode into the ruined Empire, trying to find her A pretty little princess, waiting for her knight in the noble steed was what they thought! But she is the Queen who rose from ashes with grace and beauty, who burned the empire down.

An endless train of thoughts. That's what this is about

ＳＡＲＣＡＳＭ 𝟏. 𝐀 𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐞. 𝟐. 𝐀 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬. 𝟑. 𝐀 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐠𝐢𝐛𝐞, 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚 𝐭𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐭; 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧; 𝐚 𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭; 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐜, 𝐚 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐲; 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐲. Yeah, I think I'll go with my own definition. ＳＡＲＣＡＳＭ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐮𝐦𝐛 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭. Sarcastic Paris has never really believed in having friends, her overflowing sarcasm seems to be enough. But when Lucas, Lillian, and Justin suddenly come into her life, she has second thoughts. Sarcasm will always be her best friend...but maybe there was room for other kinds of friends too. Disclaimer: If found on any site other than Wattpad, it's a malware. The mirrors sites are a scam and mostly contain virus and may harm your device

Greg has been keeping a secret from Wilson and reveals it in the only way he knows how. Greg & OC

Kennedy (Kenna) isn't known for her beauty. She's never been complimented on her appearance unless being called beautiful by your family counts, and to Kenna- it doesn't. Sick of being ignored because of her looks, Kennedy gives herself a makeover but it isn't very successful. After encountering a crying Marissa Rivers on the behalf of her obnoxious brother, Noah, she becomes acquaintances with the girl. After a chat about Kenna's failed efforts at makeup and how she's a nondrinker, she offers Kenna the help of her and her friends. Kenna graciously agrees but there's a catch. Kenna will have to be the girls' designated driver to the next few parties that they want to attend until she can do her own makeup which may take a while but what happens when Kenna accidentally gets drunk at one of the parties and Noah has to bring her and the other girls back to their home? She gets involved in a lot more than she planned. And it seems as if all she wanted was to become beautiful.