thephoenixrose
Slutted out. Pumped or pimped out. There was such sorrow in her heart. No man could ever love this slut. That's what I thought about the life I've been living for the past decade. Free fuckin' sex for everybody. I didn't fuck for the love. I fucked for the control and the pleasure. The pleasure and the pain. What man could love a woman like me? What man is going to want to give me a child? What man is going to give me a family? The idea of marriage is stupid. I am a fuckin' whore and the whole world probably knows it. Even the dark underworld of the cyber universe. Yes everybody has seen my pussy with cum inside. Or who knows?
I was supposed to be a virgin. Silly right? Yes, I was going to wait until marriage like a good Christian girl and that all changed when that monstrosity took it away from me. I will never forget the day he forcefully took my virginity away from me. I fuck as a way of power and control and a way to escape this reality. Because what a sad reality this is. I was supposed to be a fuckin' virgin and everyday I live with that pain. Yes, can I revirginize myself? No, I cannot remove everybody's cum and dicks from my pussy. That's impossible.
I try to choose a better life everyday, but I have slip ups. I asked mr. Horseback to be my boyfriend and he hasn't called like he said he would. I guess he can go suck it. All that talk about babies. Maybe he doesn't even want to make one with me. He was getting verbally abusive and I have to let him go. He was more interested in fucking his sisters it seems than me. Whatever. I wouldn't be surprised if he did.
I changed my number. I mean new day, new life everyday. When is someone not going to use me someway somehow ? I seem to only give myself the care I need. Self-love I guess. But sometimes I hate the living shit out of myself. And I consider suicide, but I might live if I try. And that would be even worse baby.