Absurde Stories

Welcome to planet Talvaris, your generic isekai world filled with magic, dragons, and voluptuous female elves who look like they escaped from an illustrators search history. Everything here is as beautiful as the goddess Celes envision it, if you just ignore the slavery and racism on the corner. Unfortunately, maintaining this picturesque fantasy realm costs divine power. Luckily for the goddess, divine power can be charged by the Talvarians' prayer. And nothing beats the high-quality prayer of a Talvarian during the act of killing or being killed. That's why the occasional demon invasions are needed, oh and the OP otherworlder hero is also needed to tone down the invasion. Nobody wants the sweet Talvarians to get wiped out, right? But this time the celestial HR department makes a mistake. Alex Solomon is not a teenager, not handsome, and definitely not a Japanese. He is just a regular pot belly millennials who spend most of his time looking at the screen every day, just like the one who reading this now. Totally doesn't meet the goddess's standards. Hence, the beautiful but angry goddess cursed Alex Solomon to become an orc and banish him to the Demon Kingdom with nothing but a ability to access Earth internet. Stuck among demons, Alex Solomon decide if the goddess wants him to be a monster, he'll be the worst kind possible - a monster with ideas. Armed with memes, wikipedia articles, and misquoted great thinker, he and the demon army set out on a quest for revenge by doing the most disruptive thing that have been proven on earth: Building world peace, freedom, and democracy across Talvaris. One Tomahawk missile at a time. New Chapters every Tuesday & Friday For 30 chapters ahead, you can check at RR For 40 chapters ahead, you can check and support my patreon at patreon.com/Bimbanana

Monsters? What are they? Crawlies salivating in Timmy's nightmares? Memories digested through jaws? Or, struggles chizzled into claws and fangs? Let's chomp on it and Slide down the gullet! From a goblin addicted to trolling to a treant painting itself gold, Buzz your mandables. after all, you might discover your monster...

"Crowned in Chaos" Mereka bilang, ada dua tipe orang di dunia ini yang hidup untuk kebebasan, dan yang hidup untuk tujuan. The Elle's adalah definisi dari kebebasan itu sendiri. Cantik, berisik, dan selalu jadi pusat perhatian, mereka hidup tanpa batas, tanpa peduli siapa yang menyukai atau membenci mereka. Sementara itu, The Axiom adalah kebalikannya. Tenang, disiplin, dan tak tergoyahkan, mereka adalah simbol kontrol dan ambisi. Dua dunia yang seharusnya tak pernah bertabrakan... hingga satu kesalahan mengubah segalanya. Pengkhianatan. Sindiran. Dan perang dingin yang tak pernah benar-benar berakhir. Namun, saat waktu membawa mereka ke tempat yang sama di mana masa lalu tak lagi bisa dihindari batas antara benci dan sesuatu yang lebih... mulai kabur. Karena terkadang, yang paling kita tolak... adalah yang paling sulit untuk kita abaikan.

eee

Ade adalah pemuda miskin yang hidupnya hampir hancur. Hingga suatu hari, ia menemukan fenomena aneh: setelah dia menolong nenek-nenek tiba-tiba muncul kesempatan yang bisa merubah hidupnya. Tapi semakin ia memburu kesempatan itu, semakin banyak mata yang curiga... dan semakin besar bahaya yang mengintai. Apakah fenomena ini akan menjadi berkah, atau justru kutukan yang menghancurkan hidupnya?

11x featured wattpad story. Before everything, it's assumed there was nothing, but what if there was no real difference between the two? Just two extreme philosophies from the first conflict. The planet Huom has been under observation for longer than should technically be possible. The primary watcher, a bitter black hole, is excited to see that there is finally a proverbial Darkness at the end of the tunnel. Meanwhile, on the planet, in the freezing mountains of Empris, Lyeasrakardsul, the oldest living sorcerer, suffers from devastating nightmares. At the same time, far away in the sandstone desert of Zenon, Herschel, a man filled to the brim with weird ideas is escaping a prison filled with strange old men. What does all this have to do with arsehole Gods, hairy Dwarfs, frustrated Afreets, curious Knomes, lizard-women, and nude Áettar? Perhaps Nothing, perhaps Everything... but why can't it be both?

A dream. A rope on a beach. A ship sailing to somewhere you will never be invited. Six out of six million refuse to accept it. But the ones who refuse - fate has a different plan for them too. A poem about class, longing, and the locked doors we spend our lives running toward.

A Collection Of The Most Simple Kind...

Betrayed and murdered in his past life, a cynical former manager is resurrected into a world of magic with a single mission: never to be used again. Armed with unstoppable hypnosis powers, he vows to rule through absolute mesmeric control and serve only himself. There's just one problem... his "OP" abilities are totally bogus, and he's the only one who doesn't know it!

In a world where cultivation decides fate, Mu Chen was never meant to follow the rules. Born as an anomaly the heavens failed to notice, he rewrites reality without effort. Divine treasures become snacks, geniuses fall with a slap, and the world's laws simply stop applying. Yet none of it matters to him. He wants only good food, quiet days, and to be left alone. As he steps into the wider world of ancient sects and forgotten wars, misunderstandings spread. To some, a hidden master. To others, a walking calamity. Mu Chen continues forward, effortlessly breaking everything that dares to make sense. After all, if reality becomes inconvenient, why not simply ignore it? [Start reading...]

Abandoned by the famous novelist who gave birth to her, Evangeline grows up near an abandoned theme park where ballet is taught from the ballroom of a crumbling castle. The teen years of a misunderstood artistic genius are tough. Early experiences quash her dreams of becoming a writer, and she only manages to earn a few crumbs of approval after she pivots to ballet. Too bad they come from her smart-ass competitor, Miskomin. On her rise from mediocrity, Evangeline is thrilled when Magda, the artistic director of a company in need of a sixth dancer, lays claim to the park. But things go awry as Magda attempts to rewrite Evangeline's entire world. To further complicate things, Evangeline's sporadic forays into story writing bring her inner demons to life. Literally. While contending with her monstrous off-spring; navigating an ever-shifting relationship with her frenemy, Miskomin; and adjusting to life under the power of a vampiric task-master, Evangeline gains the self-knowledge and confidence she needs to face the final boss: Herself. Will she learn to look beyond the artist she wants to be and accept the person she is?

It was supposed to be another normal life for the average office worker Charles Desser until one peculiar evening he stumbled on an invitation letter to the first party in the multiverse.

"A young girl was rejected by the world even by her own family, simply because she was different. Until she ended up in the forest where her life would change..." 14 rating btw :)

In a world where women get cooked the moment they try to exceed expectations-disrupting the natural order... one girl rises anyway. And she may or may not be part of the problem. She pushes forward to reach her goal-determined to prove the world wrong. Armed with destructive weapons that answer to her unpredictable nature, she hunts... people who may or may not have anything to do with that goal. Watch as this chaotic girl turns an already absurd world... even worse.

A series of stories written to make you laugh so hard that you faint (hopefully not). Watch me put myself in the most ridiculous, hyper-specific and bizarre situations possible and talk to different versions of me. By the end, you might forget what a "character" even is. Guaranteed to brighten your day and to make people stare at you in public.

He wasn't born an angel. He worked his way to angelhood. He earned his place among them by centuries of serving God. Only to be assigned the most demeaning jobs of all, counting and reporting human sins. An endless loathing to lowly humans lead the angel to one sin which wipes away all he has been working for and turns him into the being he despised the most, a human. On a journey to find his way back up, the angel struggles to cope with all the inconveniences of being human. He doesn't only have to worry about food and shelter, he also finds himself in trouble with all other beings lurking in the shadows unseen by humans and now by him too. Soon, the angel starts to count his own sins. Can the Angel find his way back up or will he drown too deep into the sinful life of a human? [PG-13 - Mention of Alcohol, Violence, Corruption and Suicide] - New Chapter once a week. - I am new to Wattpad, so please feel free to give me some constructive feedback; Encouragement and votes (that little star button) would be great too 🥲 #4 Absurd #5 Theology #20 Wisdom #67 Islam

Eleanor Voss's life is the rhythmic lurch between briefings and after-hours triage. She can make a joke sound like policy, a denial sound like comfort - but the jokes stop landing when the President declares "Economic Independence Day," orders money redesigned with his portrait, and decides the calendar needs a thirteenth month. Each morning she wakes to a new small catastrophe and a pile of color-coded folders that must be made to mean something. With dark humor and an unblinking eye for the machinery behind headlines, this novel follows Eleanor as she trades good faith for survival, allies for alliances, and sleep for contingency statements. The West Wing's cast - an iron-general, a crooked fixer, a constitutional scholar who keeps trying to stitch the country back together - are both comic and tragic. As the spin tightens, Eleanor must ask: how far will she go to save a nation that no longer recognizes itself? Funny, sharp, and humane, this is a story about the absurdity of power and the people who stand between spectacle and ruin.

Stupid Samuel lives in a tiny village that insists it makes sense, even when it doesn't. He tries to understand the world; the world tries nothing at all. What follows is a series of misunderstandings, misinterpretations, and small adventures that grow larger than anyone expects. This is the extended version of Stupid Samuel's narrative found in "Stupid Samuel and Other Stories."

A humorous poetic look into one of law enforcement's oldest stereotypes: donuts. From late-night shifts to sugar-fueled survival, this satire explores why cops and pastries became inseparable.

Dziwne teksty. Nie wiem, kiedy powstają. Są i nie ma ich. Piszę, co mi ślina na myśl przyniesie.