Absurde Stories

Welcome to planet Talvaris, your generic isekai world filled with magic, dragons, and voluptuous female elves who look like they escaped from an illustrators search history. Everything here is as beautiful as the goddess Celes envision it, if you just ignore the slavery and racism on the corner. Unfortunately, maintaining this picturesque fantasy realm costs divine power. Luckily for the goddess, divine power can be charged by the Talvarians' prayer. And nothing beats the high-quality prayer of a Talvarian during the act of killing or being killed. That's why the occasional demon invasions are needed, oh and the OP otherworlder hero is also needed to tone down the invasion. Nobody wants the sweet Talvarians to get wiped out, right? But this time the celestial HR department makes a mistake. Alex Solomon is not a teenager, not handsome, and definitely not a Japanese. He is just a regular pot belly millennials who spend most of his time looking at the screen every day, just like the one who reading this now. Totally doesn't meet the goddess's standards. Hence, the beautiful but angry goddess cursed Alex Solomon to become an orc and banish him to the Demon Kingdom with nothing but a ability to access Earth internet. Stuck among demons, Alex Solomon decide if the goddess wants him to be a monster, he'll be the worst kind possible - a monster with ideas. Armed with memes, wikipedia articles, and misquoted great thinker, he and the demon army set out on a quest for revenge by doing the most disruptive thing that have been proven on earth: Building world peace, freedom, and democracy across Talvaris. One Tomahawk missile at a time. New Chapters every Tuesday & Friday For 30 chapters ahead, you can check at RR For 40 chapters ahead, you can check and support my patreon at patreon.com/Bimbanana

"I got chucked into a world where being naked is a literal felony!" Toma Houku was just an average unemployed guy-until a bizarre phone interview landed him in another world. No armor, no weapons... just a T-shirt with a blonde girl printed on it. Then the girl jumped out of the shirt. She introduced herself as a goddess and immediately recruited Toma as her assistant, dragging him into a high-stakes tournament where knights fight using magical clothing. But Toma's "gear" comes with a serious problem. His T-shirt doesn't just give him power-it strips his enemies completely naked. In a world where nudity is a crime, every fight turns him into a walking disaster. And the more he wins... the more illegal he becomes!

A Collection Of Badly Written Poetry And Fiction Designed To Make You Tear Out Your Eyes And Curse My Name Until The End Of Time...

In the Kingdom of Inspection, beauty is a national weapon. Lord Mansan, the Crown's most handsome asset, leads the Imperial Funeral Knights - serving as the king's eyes to wipe out corruption. The king believes that beauty is the most expesive bait to lure and trap sinners. After all, when Lord Mansan's eyes meet yours... the next sound you hear might be a funeral march.

I was trying to manually operate a background mechanism, much like forcing myself to fall asleep by aggressively monitoring my own brainwaves. Every concept, thought, idea, or structure arrived charged with terrifying significance, as if it were foundational; and yet none could be held long enough to define. The importance came first, uninvited and unexplained, and the explanation never caught up before the thought slipped out of reach. ​Consider this a review of a quiet catastrophe. Of a year lost to an Ouroboros of anomalous cognition. Writing rules to govern thoughts, and then rules to govern those rules, recursively and endlessly until the simple, organic act of thinking was suffocated by protocols, mandates, and regulations. It wasn't a poetic madness, nor an intellectual tragedy, merely a maladroit attempt at administration. ​I looked at the rest of the world and wondered how they functioned under this weight, watching the ease with which others operate, blissfully free from the crushing dread of manually compiling their own cognitive software. Their minds are comfortably automated; mine was locked in a manual override I couldn't switch off.

11x featured wattpad story. Before everything, it's assumed there was nothing, but what if there was no real difference between the two? Just two extreme philosophies from the first conflict. The planet Huom has been under observation for longer than should technically be possible. The primary watcher, a bitter black hole, is excited to see that there is finally a proverbial Darkness at the end of the tunnel. Meanwhile, on the planet, in the freezing mountains of Empris, Lyeasrakardsul, the oldest living sorcerer, suffers from devastating nightmares. At the same time, far away in the sandstone desert of Zenon, Herschel, a man filled to the brim with weird ideas is escaping a prison filled with strange old men. What does all this have to do with arsehole Gods, hairy Dwarfs, frustrated Afreets, curious Knomes, lizard-women, and nude Áettar? Perhaps Nothing, perhaps Everything... but why can't it be both?

a depressed boy gets reincarnated into the world of SKIBIDI TOILET (THIS IS A REPOST OF MY SKIBIDI REBORN NOVEL AND YES I AM THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR I LOST MY MAIN ACCOUNT SO I AM USING THIS ACCOUNT INSTEAD!)

Venture of Gaius Wallace, the Pro-Claimed king of Edinburgh and his most fair compatriots, Matthew, and William. on seeking the Holy Grail unto the sacred Doune Castle.

Something strange is happening... humans are getting more and more upset. Violence is everywhere. People are gathering in the streets, shouting a mysterious name... Something is wrong, but I can't figure out what is... 14 rating

Elarindale International Institution sits in the middle of Nebraska's cornfields-because apparently the most secretive, prestigious British academy in the world decided the American Midwest was the perfect hiding place. Founded in 1911 by the notoriously eccentric aristocrat Winifred Thistlewhack (who may or may not still be alive), Elarindale is a sprawling Gothic castle where students take courses like Interdimensional Ethics, Parachute-Free Skydiving, and Advanced Gaslighting (Honors). The campus has weather-voting privileges, a private underground bullet train, staircases with questionable attitudes, and a cafeteria run by actual butlers. For the brilliant, the strange, and the dangerously curious, it's the school of a lifetime. For Caleb Brooks, it's something else entirely. Twelve years old and painfully normal, Caleb comes from a quiet public school and a life built on routines he understands. When he's suddenly invited into Elarindale's chaotic world of geniuses, impossible classes, and students who seem far more extraordinary than he feels, he's forced to face a question far bigger than any exam: What if normal isn't enough? Caught between the comfort of the life he knows and the terrifying possibilities of the one he doesn't, Caleb must figure out who he is-and who he might become-in a place where the rules are strange, the expectations are enormous, and even the staircases might try to eat you. Absurd. Chaotic. Occasionally profound. Welcome to Elarindale. (You may still want to sign a waiver.)

AOT Parody takes the iconic cast of Attack on Titan and throws them into situations far more ridiculous than any Titan invasion. The Walls still stand. The Scouts are still dramatic. Levi is still short and dangerously competent. But this time, the real threat might be their own personalities. From over-the-top training exercises to absurd mission briefings that make absolutely no sense, the Survey Corps must survive exaggerated rivalries, painfully unnecessary speeches, and the kind of chaos only Eren could accidentally cause. Friendships are tested. Sanity is questioned. And somehow, Levi is still the only adult in the room. No grand conspiracy. No secret masterminds. Just the cast you love... behaving slightly worse than usual. And here's a slightly sharper version with more bite: In AOT Parody, Titans aren't the only problem. Eren's dramatic monologues last too long. Armin overanalyzes everything. Mikasa's loyalty reaches mythic levels. Jean thinks he's the protagonist. And Levi is one inconvenience away from early retirement. This is the world of Attack on Titan turned sideways. The stakes are lower. The chaos is higher. And absolutely nothing goes according to plan. Disclaimer: This is a non-commercial fan work inspired by Attack on Titan. All original characters, settings, and concepts belong to their respective creators. This story is created purely for entertainment and parody purposes. Cover artwork was created using digital design tools and AI-assisted software. Disclaimer: This is a fanfiction inspired by Attack on Titan. I don't own the original series or its characters this is just for fun and not for profit. The cover image was created using digital art and AI tools. This story was developed using the author's original ideas alongside modern creative tools for brainstorming and structural refinement. Visual elements and conceptual design were created with the support of digital creative platforms.

"Spider's Diary" is a dark, intimate journal written from the perspective of an observer living on the edge between sleep and wakefulness. Each entry is a short story weaving everyday life with symbolism, unease, and the tender brutality of thought. It is a tale of sensitivity, memory, and chaos hidden in small moments - read like a web: piece by piece, yet most powerful when you fall into the whole.

„Pamiętnik Pająka" to mroczny, intymny dziennik pisany z perspektywy obserwatora żyjącego na granicy snu i jawy. Każdy wpis to krótka historia splatająca codzienność z symboliką, niepokojem i czułą brutalnością myśli. To opowieść o wrażliwości, pamięci i chaosie ukrytym w drobnych momentach - czytana jak sieć: fragment po fragmencie, ale najlepiej działa, gdy wpadniesz w całość.

Abandoned by the famous novelist who gave birth to her, Evangeline grows up near an abandoned theme park where ballet is taught from the ballroom of a crumbling castle. The teen years of a misunderstood artistic genius are tough. Early experiences quash her dreams of becoming a writer, and she only manages to earn a few crumbs of approval after she pivots to ballet. Too bad they come from her smart-ass competitor, Miskomin. On her rise from mediocrity, Evangeline is thrilled when Magda, the artistic director of a company in need of a sixth dancer, lays claim to the park. But things go awry as Magda attempts to rewrite Evangeline's entire world. To further complicate things, Evangeline's sporadic forays into story writing bring her inner demons to life. Literally. While contending with her monstrous off-spring; navigating an ever-shifting relationship with her frenemy, Miskomin; and adjusting to life under the power of a vampiric task-master, Evangeline gains the self-knowledge and confidence she needs to face the final boss: Herself. Will she learn to look beyond the artist she wants to be and accept the person she is?

It was supposed to be another normal life for the average office worker Charles Desser until one peculiar evening he stumbled on an invitation letter to the first party in the multiverse.

The Things Behind Those Eyes is a ~46,500 word-long collection of several short stories and poems I wrote a few years back. The five short stories cover a rather diverse set of topics and moods, most of which are in some ways rather absurd; A man who has been isolated and tormented by having to roll a boulder uphill for what feels like an eternity is bewildered when his punishment is suddenly revoked. An airplane full of people goes quiet when a strange kind of curse befalls the plane and it turns into an eternal purgatory. Or, granted, it's not all sour and dim; A drug dealer who is on the verge of going bankrupt and has forgotten how to feel joy is completely intrigued when an abnormal man takes him on a romp through London and teaches him how to live again. Meanwhile, the free-versed poems tend to lean more heavily into the more dour, sentimental side of things. The pain felt by the objects around us; not knowing how to live our lives; the ways we hurt ourselves and each other. It's all the little details in the bigger picture. Written 2020-2023 Edited, Compiled, & Photographed 2023 Published elsewhere 2025 Published on Wattpad 2026

This is a story of the so-called "Mischief Teenager"

A collection of ridiculous, comedic, short-stories, tales, legends, myths, fables, and fairy tales dealing with various themes, and genres. Highlighting the absurdities and the peculiarities of life. The stories range from satirical, fan-fiction, cultural, political, social, mythological, absurd, and just plain random. Hope you enjoy! Thanks for reading! :) "I died laughing!...Then this brought me back to life." - Jesus "This was so transcendental that I began to taste sounds, and see smells." - Gordon Ramsay "I loved this more than I love myself." - Kanye West "This was far more than just enjoyable...it was thought provoking, titillating, and utterly enlightening. My heart goes on for this." - Celine Dion "This is the best thing my eyes have ever read." - Helen Keller

Lingling this is Orm. Orm this is Lingling . [Silence ] - What's your last name ? - Kwong - I love you LINGLING KWONG - uh ? - My cutie 2G girlfriend, let's write stories on us so no one will steal you from me.

Sara said, her eyes firmly on Alex, a predatory gleam in them. "But I actually need your help. All of you, potentially." She paused, her expression becoming more serious, though still infused with her characteristic mischievousness. "It's about a temporal anomaly and I cannot do it myself without creating a time paradox. My past self... she's about to make a monumental mistake" Lena, ever the pragmatist and enjoying Alex's predicament immensely, spoke up. "Well, Captain Lance, it sounds like you've stumbled into the right living room. Kara will undoubtedly want to help you save the timeline. And Alex has a vested interest in ensuring your past self doesn't mess things up too badly. Sara stepped through, her voice echoing back through the swirling energy. "Let's bring the temporal chaos!" Follow the blossoming of the romantic relationship between Kara Danvers/Supergirl and Lena Luthor while time traveling, all with the help of Sara Lance, who at the same time also falls for Alex Danvers. This story is a humorous blend of romance, sci-fi chaos, and family dynamics, with plenty of witty banter and unexpected twists.